Well, you're 9.5 months now. And only 14.5 pounds.
We took you to your 9 month appointment, and immediately upon putting you on the scale, I remember saying to the nurse, "Oh Catherine, that's not good..."
The nurse took us into the exam room, and checked her head circumference, chest circumference, and length. You may have lost about 2 ounces from your 6 month appointment, but you gained an inch in length. Later, the doctor said that's about the only thing that is keeping you off the Failure to Thrive Watch List.
Instead, we are going back in a month for a weight check. The doctor assured me that yes, you are moving much more, which leads to a higher metabolism, but usually, weight gain simply slows down. It doesn't completely stop, like it seems to have in your case.
To say that I was devastated would be an understatement. Being your mom has been one of the most thrilling things in my life and I love having a littler girl. But at the same time, being your mom can be one of my biggest disappointments. Not in you, but in myself. As a mom, it's hard not to worry about your child: are they learning like they should? Are the growing like they should? Are they developing at the same rate as other children?
When it's a resounding "NO" with the beep, beep, beep of the scale that tells me you have not gained any weight, it's hard. I feel as though I am doing everything wrong.
Compounding on this is the fact that I have stopped responding to the breast pump. I didn't even know that is possible. So I have resorted to hand-expressing milk. I didn't even know what hand-expression really was, until I figured out real quick that it's just like milking a cow. Because, that's kind of what I am right now.
So after almost two months of no longer responding to the pump, I have decided to ditch the pump. I am at the point in breastfeeding that I am able to keep up my milk supply, even though I will no longer be pumping at work, which is interesting. But I am ready to be done with the pump. It's exhausting hauling it everywhere. It's exhausting knowing that even with hand-expression directly into the pump, I only get a few ounces at a time. Even when I drink enough water, bake and eat dozens of lactation cookies, it doesn't seem to help. Then, when my period comes, my hormones make my milk production even worse.
I am tired of pumping, but not of breastfeeding. So I'm going to continue breastfeeding to a year, which is my goal. Hopefully, I will make it that far.
Other than that, you are developing normally, although you don't seem to be growing any. You have finally started rolling over, sitting up on your own, and you are trying desperately to crawl. You will stand for an extremely long period of time against anything, or in your activity chair. You are starting to chew foods, feed yourself, and love supper time with the family, even though you can barely see over the tray on your high chair.
You babble, you giggle, and you are typically a happy girl. Since I started feeding you strictly breast milk and "p" foods (pears, peaches, peas, potatoes), you have an easier time going to the bathroom, but you're still constipated. It can be hard on this mom most of the time, but those smiles and laughter that I get in the morning or late at night are worth it.
I love you baby girl!
