Holy buckets, I feel like the more you start to move forward, the more I fall behind!
We had our first winter storm of the season, starting last night. I was so excited on Tuesday night for it I went and bought you snow boots that are going to be way too big. But we got a hand-me-down snowsuit and I couldn't help it. I want to take you out in this at some point! I had a snow day today, so we were able to spend a lot of time together, although the whole house as come down with the flu at some point this week, so it was more or less just laying around together. But it was still a good time.
In this last month, you have begun doing so much more - you have eaten plenty of solids, that's for sure. You love peaches and bananas (when you're feeling good), and you're really starting to enjoy sweet potatoes. You like acorn squash and I'm pretty sure you hate peas. HATE peas. We haven't tried green beans, but that is next on the list. As is apple. I guess you've had strawberries at the sitter's house, which I didn't know you could have, and you loved that as well. Not to mention your standard oatmeal and formula bottle! But all in all, you're starting to eat, in your high chair, like a champ.
You've also started crawling. I thought for sure you would be crawling by Christmas, and I might still be right, but you're definitely army crawling at a high rate of speed. I took a phone call tonight (the phone call telling me that school is also cancelled tomorrow - yippee!) and you were across the room after 30 seconds. It seemed like a split second you were on the floor at one end of the room and at the end of my 30 second phone call, you were at the other, banging on the printer (for the thirtieth time today)!
You've also started having more of a schedule. You rise when the sun comes up, you go down about 9 a.m. for a nap. You are up at 11, ready to eat and play and eat again, then down again for a nap about 2. You wake up at 4 and then down at 6. Up at 8 for a little bit more play and some food, then down by 9-9:30. It's pretty snazzy and works into our schedule pretty well.
You really love it when your daddy sings you Elvis. More specifically, "I'm in love (HUH), I'm all shook up!" It's adorable to watch your reaction. My song for you is, "You're the one that I want! You are the one, singin' oh oh oh! The one I need, oh yes, indeed!" It's so much fun to dance with you and sing to you and play with you. You react so animatedly to everything we do, it's so much fun.
I never knew that being a mom would be so much fun, but I'm loving it more and more every day. Even the horrible, smelly, poopy diapers, the tantrums and the difficult nights. You're everything I've ever wanted and more. I love you James Thomas!
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Friday, November 16, 2012
6 Months!
Each monthly blog post can be summarized by the following:
2 months: "Holy cow, you turned 2 months old this week. My how time has flown by."
3 months: "I cannot believe you are three months old!!! It's been a crazy whirlwind, but I'm so thankful it exists."
4 months: "How is it possible that it's been FOUR MONTHS since you were born?"
5 months: "Well well well, look who's FIVE MONTHS OLD! Where is time going?"
And guess what?
6 months: "I can't believe you're already a half-year old!"
And you're doing so many new things! You're starting to prop yourself up on your elbow and play with toys. You're starting to figure out that if you move your arms and legs, sometimes together, you can move. Usually, it's a backward movement. But still, it's awesome. You're rolling all over the place. You've become fascinated by Kinnick! It's so funny to watch! When he walks by, you follow him with your whole head. When he sits and looks at you, you smile back at him. It's hilarious.
You've started solid foods. Crazy to think about, but we've only done mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes. But you seem pretty content with sweet potatoes. Sometimes, though, you just want a bottle.
Your diapers have gotten more smelly, your smiles have gotten bigger and your giggle even more like a little boy's. What an amazing feeling it is to see you grow up. Even more amazing to be able to put you on the floor with some toys and get some sh!t done in the kitchen! :)
I love you, James Thomas!
2 months: "Holy cow, you turned 2 months old this week. My how time has flown by."
3 months: "I cannot believe you are three months old!!! It's been a crazy whirlwind, but I'm so thankful it exists."
4 months: "How is it possible that it's been FOUR MONTHS since you were born?"
5 months: "Well well well, look who's FIVE MONTHS OLD! Where is time going?"
And guess what?
6 months: "I can't believe you're already a half-year old!"
And you're doing so many new things! You're starting to prop yourself up on your elbow and play with toys. You're starting to figure out that if you move your arms and legs, sometimes together, you can move. Usually, it's a backward movement. But still, it's awesome. You're rolling all over the place. You've become fascinated by Kinnick! It's so funny to watch! When he walks by, you follow him with your whole head. When he sits and looks at you, you smile back at him. It's hilarious.
You've started solid foods. Crazy to think about, but we've only done mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes. But you seem pretty content with sweet potatoes. Sometimes, though, you just want a bottle.
Your diapers have gotten more smelly, your smiles have gotten bigger and your giggle even more like a little boy's. What an amazing feeling it is to see you grow up. Even more amazing to be able to put you on the floor with some toys and get some sh!t done in the kitchen! :)
I love you, James Thomas!
Sunday, October 14, 2012
5 Months!
Well well well, look who's FIVE MONTHS OLD! Where is time going?
We have graduated from breast milk to formula to adding rice cereal to the formula to oatmeal to your first pureed foods. Crazy how fast things change in the course of a month!
You're starting to understand that if you wiggle back and forth while on your tummy on the floor, you just might get somewhere. Other times, you don't get anywhere. Just this weekend, you were able to sit up on your own. Granted, there were a few times where you fell over, but I can tell you prefer to be sitting up rather than laying down. I think the activity mat has limited entertainment minutes left...
You are starting to "dive" for things - sitting on my lap, you want something, so you dive for it. Sometimes it throws me off, most times I expect it.
You have officially outgrown the sink, so baths are now in the bathtub, which I hate! I don't want you to grow up too fast, but I can't wait until I can give you a washcloth and tell you to scrub under your own armpits! The other day, I just put you in your bumbo and put you in the shower with me. You seemed to enjoy it and when I moved so the stream of water hit you, you lapped at the water. It was hilarious! I think I got most of your parts clean!
All of a sudden, you started being too big for your typical outfits and we've had to break out others. Beyond that, we've had to break out warmer ones too, as the weather is turning. It's crazy to think about, but you're growing up so fast.
In other news, I started to tell you about your Grandpa Tom today. It was the first day that I could talk about him without breaking down in tears. You were looking up, like you normally do, and I'm guessing it was at him. So I asked if you were looking at someone tall. You looked at me, smiled, and then looked back to where you were before. And laughed. It had to be my dad. So I started to tell you about him.
You being able to see him might seem completely crazy to anyone who hasn't lost anyone. But for those who have, I know they would completely understand. I swear, some days it's as if you are talking with him. You laugh and smile at absolutely nothing. But you're always looking up. I can even see the face my dad is making at you - the typical one that he always made to babies that he was holding. I hope I never forget that image. I hope you can keep "talking" with him as you get older. He was an incredibly special person, and so much fun to be around.
Happy 5 months my little man. Mama loves you!!!
We have graduated from breast milk to formula to adding rice cereal to the formula to oatmeal to your first pureed foods. Crazy how fast things change in the course of a month!
You're starting to understand that if you wiggle back and forth while on your tummy on the floor, you just might get somewhere. Other times, you don't get anywhere. Just this weekend, you were able to sit up on your own. Granted, there were a few times where you fell over, but I can tell you prefer to be sitting up rather than laying down. I think the activity mat has limited entertainment minutes left...
You are starting to "dive" for things - sitting on my lap, you want something, so you dive for it. Sometimes it throws me off, most times I expect it.
You have officially outgrown the sink, so baths are now in the bathtub, which I hate! I don't want you to grow up too fast, but I can't wait until I can give you a washcloth and tell you to scrub under your own armpits! The other day, I just put you in your bumbo and put you in the shower with me. You seemed to enjoy it and when I moved so the stream of water hit you, you lapped at the water. It was hilarious! I think I got most of your parts clean!
All of a sudden, you started being too big for your typical outfits and we've had to break out others. Beyond that, we've had to break out warmer ones too, as the weather is turning. It's crazy to think about, but you're growing up so fast.
In other news, I started to tell you about your Grandpa Tom today. It was the first day that I could talk about him without breaking down in tears. You were looking up, like you normally do, and I'm guessing it was at him. So I asked if you were looking at someone tall. You looked at me, smiled, and then looked back to where you were before. And laughed. It had to be my dad. So I started to tell you about him.
You being able to see him might seem completely crazy to anyone who hasn't lost anyone. But for those who have, I know they would completely understand. I swear, some days it's as if you are talking with him. You laugh and smile at absolutely nothing. But you're always looking up. I can even see the face my dad is making at you - the typical one that he always made to babies that he was holding. I hope I never forget that image. I hope you can keep "talking" with him as you get older. He was an incredibly special person, and so much fun to be around.
Happy 5 months my little man. Mama loves you!!!
Saturday, September 8, 2012
4 months!
How is it possible that it's been FOUR MONTHS since you were born?
Currently, you are sitting with you dad in the circular chair in our living room while he feeds you a mixture of rice cereal and formula in a bottle.
Every day, you make a new noise. Every day there is something we notice that is different about it. It's so crazy how we thought things were going so quickly. It's no joke that now things are moving quickly! I swear every day I go to say goodbye to you in your crib, you are different in some way.
Last week, you rolled over! You should have seen me cheering you on! It was so much fun to watch, although you haven't done it since. I can tell, though, that you are trying!!!
There are so many people I have yet to introduce you to! It's so crazy to think that I haven't even had the time to get back home to see even more people! Fortunately, you were able to meet almost all of Grandpa Tom's brothers and sisters, sans one, at a wedding a few weeks ago. You were a huge hit, and it was so much fun to introduce you. You were such a good baby and so many people couldn't get enough of you!!!
Otherwise, your dad and I are falling into a routine. It's been difficult at times, it's been incredibly heart-warming at times, and there are times where we want to kill each other. As one friend told us once, you aren't married until you have a kid. Truly married.
I wish you would stay this little, but then I would be missing out on the wonderful person you will become. I know you will make mistakes, I know we will have difficult times, but I know in the end, we will raise you to be a good person, who makes wise choices and works hard. I can't wait to see the person, the man, that you become!
I love you, booger!
Currently, you are sitting with you dad in the circular chair in our living room while he feeds you a mixture of rice cereal and formula in a bottle.
Every day, you make a new noise. Every day there is something we notice that is different about it. It's so crazy how we thought things were going so quickly. It's no joke that now things are moving quickly! I swear every day I go to say goodbye to you in your crib, you are different in some way.
Last week, you rolled over! You should have seen me cheering you on! It was so much fun to watch, although you haven't done it since. I can tell, though, that you are trying!!!
There are so many people I have yet to introduce you to! It's so crazy to think that I haven't even had the time to get back home to see even more people! Fortunately, you were able to meet almost all of Grandpa Tom's brothers and sisters, sans one, at a wedding a few weeks ago. You were a huge hit, and it was so much fun to introduce you. You were such a good baby and so many people couldn't get enough of you!!!
Otherwise, your dad and I are falling into a routine. It's been difficult at times, it's been incredibly heart-warming at times, and there are times where we want to kill each other. As one friend told us once, you aren't married until you have a kid. Truly married.
I wish you would stay this little, but then I would be missing out on the wonderful person you will become. I know you will make mistakes, I know we will have difficult times, but I know in the end, we will raise you to be a good person, who makes wise choices and works hard. I can't wait to see the person, the man, that you become!
I love you, booger!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
3 Months!
I cannot believe you are three months old!!! It's been a crazy whirlwind, but I'm so thankful it exists.
You have changed so much in the three months we've had you home. You are starting to laugh!!! It's more like coughing while you're smiling, but I'm pretty sure that constitutes a laugh!!!
I want to write down all the things I remember that were so cute that you're growing out of, because it seems to be going so quickly!!!
First off, I remember when we brought you home and you would make this "O" face! You'd pucker your lips into an "oooo" really tight, and then look around. It was absolutely too adorable and I wish I had a video of it or at least a photo, as I think you've grown out of it. And it makes me sad that I will never see that cute little face again!
I also remember when we would lay you down anywhere, changing table or otherwise, and you would "startle." You'd throw your little hands and arms above your head and have a furrowed look on your brow. It was the most adorable thing ever!! You rarely do that anymore, and I can see you're growing out of that too!
You used to take naps on the ottoman and we would lose you under the blankets and clothes. Now, you fit perfectly on the ottoman, and you're so LONG! I think you're going to be pretty tall!
It's so funny to keep putting the same clothes on you only to see what you are starting to genuinely grow out of. Sure, as a newborn, you weren't really in newborn clothes that long, but we also didn't have very many newborn clothes. So now that you're growing out of those 0-3 month clothes, it makes my heart a little sad to see so many of my "favorite" outfits not fit you anymore.
Lastly, it's so funny to see how big you're getting in your car seat. Gone is the head rest we used for you as a newborn. Soon, we'll need to buy a new baby seat for you to fit in.
Until then, I'm cherishing these memories. You're so special to me. I love you so much!
You have changed so much in the three months we've had you home. You are starting to laugh!!! It's more like coughing while you're smiling, but I'm pretty sure that constitutes a laugh!!!
I want to write down all the things I remember that were so cute that you're growing out of, because it seems to be going so quickly!!!
First off, I remember when we brought you home and you would make this "O" face! You'd pucker your lips into an "oooo" really tight, and then look around. It was absolutely too adorable and I wish I had a video of it or at least a photo, as I think you've grown out of it. And it makes me sad that I will never see that cute little face again!
I also remember when we would lay you down anywhere, changing table or otherwise, and you would "startle." You'd throw your little hands and arms above your head and have a furrowed look on your brow. It was the most adorable thing ever!! You rarely do that anymore, and I can see you're growing out of that too!
You used to take naps on the ottoman and we would lose you under the blankets and clothes. Now, you fit perfectly on the ottoman, and you're so LONG! I think you're going to be pretty tall!
It's so funny to keep putting the same clothes on you only to see what you are starting to genuinely grow out of. Sure, as a newborn, you weren't really in newborn clothes that long, but we also didn't have very many newborn clothes. So now that you're growing out of those 0-3 month clothes, it makes my heart a little sad to see so many of my "favorite" outfits not fit you anymore.
Lastly, it's so funny to see how big you're getting in your car seat. Gone is the head rest we used for you as a newborn. Soon, we'll need to buy a new baby seat for you to fit in.
Until then, I'm cherishing these memories. You're so special to me. I love you so much!
Monday, July 23, 2012
The Battle of the Bulge: Update
I am successfully down to 165 pounds, give or take a pound. I can successfully pull on my pre-preggers jean shorts, button them and by the end of the day they are saggy. I can successfully pull on one pair of pre-preggers jeans, but can't button them thanks to the bulge of my hips and belly. But at least the extra bulge in my thighs is going away. I can successfully hurry up and down the stairs without worrying about my fat jiggling so much it will throw me off balance.
So far, 10 weeks in, I can successfully say I am losing weight.
It's been hard, don't get me wrong. This weekend, I splurged. After going my whole life, easily keeping weight off and eating just about anything I wanted (Oreos and Mt. Dew for breakfast, anyone?), I can honestly say this is hard. Genuinely hard. No longer can I drink and eat what I want. It sucks!
But I feel good that I'm losing weight. Only, not good enough. It's not good enough that I'm only down to 165. I need to be down to 160. That was my goal: within 3 months, down to 160. And I have two more weeks. To lose about 2 1/2 pounds. I think I can do it.
However, the way I could do it is probably not the way you should do it. So in an effort to stay healthy for myself, my son, and to keep my milk supply up, I am going to keep eating healthy, smaller portions and try to exercise as much as possible.
Although with it being ONE HUNDRED FOUR DEGREES today, it's difficult to get outside to exercise. So we'll see. Hopefully the weather will turn soon and we can get started.
In other news, you are becoming more and more animated every day! It's so awesome to watch! Your sleep schedule is also getting much better, which I am thankful for. There were a couple weeks where it was touch and go. So we supplemented your breast milk for formula and viola, you are only waking up exactly at 2 a.m. every night. Interesting how that works. And thankful that it does!
You met your Uncle Allan today. He drove through on his way to Cedar Rapids with his former roommate, who is joining the Peace Corps. She is stationed in Cedar Rapids, so he thought it was the perfect time to drive home with her and see his family. It was so much fun to see you with him, even if it was for a short time. I'm excited that you will be able to spend more time with him and I think you'll really grow to love him!
You will also be meeting your other Uncle Chris, Aunt Ma'an and Cousin Jack in a few weeks. I'm so excited for you to meet them too - you'll love them very quickly I'm sure! It's going to be so much fun to have our whole family together again, although we're missing your Grandpa Tom. But I know he'll be there in spirit.
And lastly, mommy got a new job. I loved working for Best Buddies, but an opportunity came up at a nearby school, a smaller school, and here I am, back in the saddle again. I'm super excited to begin the year, but very nervous. It's been a little while. I'm not nervous about the high school portion, but I'm nervous about the Middle School portion. I'm hoping it will go well, and I'm sure if I am prepared, it will.
That's all - I just wanted to update...well...no one, because this blog is mommy's secret. But it's important to me that I document all and everything that is our life with you, even if it's mundane. :)
Love you little man!
So far, 10 weeks in, I can successfully say I am losing weight.
It's been hard, don't get me wrong. This weekend, I splurged. After going my whole life, easily keeping weight off and eating just about anything I wanted (Oreos and Mt. Dew for breakfast, anyone?), I can honestly say this is hard. Genuinely hard. No longer can I drink and eat what I want. It sucks!
But I feel good that I'm losing weight. Only, not good enough. It's not good enough that I'm only down to 165. I need to be down to 160. That was my goal: within 3 months, down to 160. And I have two more weeks. To lose about 2 1/2 pounds. I think I can do it.
However, the way I could do it is probably not the way you should do it. So in an effort to stay healthy for myself, my son, and to keep my milk supply up, I am going to keep eating healthy, smaller portions and try to exercise as much as possible.
Although with it being ONE HUNDRED FOUR DEGREES today, it's difficult to get outside to exercise. So we'll see. Hopefully the weather will turn soon and we can get started.
In other news, you are becoming more and more animated every day! It's so awesome to watch! Your sleep schedule is also getting much better, which I am thankful for. There were a couple weeks where it was touch and go. So we supplemented your breast milk for formula and viola, you are only waking up exactly at 2 a.m. every night. Interesting how that works. And thankful that it does!
You met your Uncle Allan today. He drove through on his way to Cedar Rapids with his former roommate, who is joining the Peace Corps. She is stationed in Cedar Rapids, so he thought it was the perfect time to drive home with her and see his family. It was so much fun to see you with him, even if it was for a short time. I'm excited that you will be able to spend more time with him and I think you'll really grow to love him!
You will also be meeting your other Uncle Chris, Aunt Ma'an and Cousin Jack in a few weeks. I'm so excited for you to meet them too - you'll love them very quickly I'm sure! It's going to be so much fun to have our whole family together again, although we're missing your Grandpa Tom. But I know he'll be there in spirit.
And lastly, mommy got a new job. I loved working for Best Buddies, but an opportunity came up at a nearby school, a smaller school, and here I am, back in the saddle again. I'm super excited to begin the year, but very nervous. It's been a little while. I'm not nervous about the high school portion, but I'm nervous about the Middle School portion. I'm hoping it will go well, and I'm sure if I am prepared, it will.
That's all - I just wanted to update...well...no one, because this blog is mommy's secret. But it's important to me that I document all and everything that is our life with you, even if it's mundane. :)
Love you little man!
Sunday, July 15, 2012
2 Months Old!
Holy cow, you turned 2 months old this week. My how time has flown by.
You have gone from this tiny little thing that I couldn't possibly know how to take care of to someone who laughs and coos and smiles at me. Oh, how it melts my heart when you smile at me!
I went from carefully changing diapers to wiping your ass with the speed and agility of a pizza dough thrower. It's lightning quick and before you know it, it's done. I went from just staring at you, wide-eyed and confused to laughing with you, talking with you and loving on you like it's nobody's business.
Overall, in the past 2 months, I have figured out that although I'm exhausted 90% of the time, I love being a mom. I love it when you coo and smile at me when I make funny faces. I think it's hilarious when you pee when your diaper is off and then you smile like it's the most hilarious thing in the world. It pains me when I walk into your room at 2:30 a.m. ready to commit murder (yes, I'm writing that...) and see your beautiful face look up at me and you immediately stop crying. It's heart-melting. All in all, it's not too bad.
I'm anxious to see what the next two months bring! I love you, little man!
You have gone from this tiny little thing that I couldn't possibly know how to take care of to someone who laughs and coos and smiles at me. Oh, how it melts my heart when you smile at me!
I went from carefully changing diapers to wiping your ass with the speed and agility of a pizza dough thrower. It's lightning quick and before you know it, it's done. I went from just staring at you, wide-eyed and confused to laughing with you, talking with you and loving on you like it's nobody's business.
Overall, in the past 2 months, I have figured out that although I'm exhausted 90% of the time, I love being a mom. I love it when you coo and smile at me when I make funny faces. I think it's hilarious when you pee when your diaper is off and then you smile like it's the most hilarious thing in the world. It pains me when I walk into your room at 2:30 a.m. ready to commit murder (yes, I'm writing that...) and see your beautiful face look up at me and you immediately stop crying. It's heart-melting. All in all, it's not too bad.
I'm anxious to see what the next two months bring! I love you, little man!
Friday, June 29, 2012
Lookin' Fly in the Three-Piece Suit
Last weekend, James made his first trip to Wisconsin.
Whoever said traveling with a newborn is easy was about 75% right.
He slept most of the time. He rarely cried and if he did, it was because he was too cold/hot, wanted a bottle, or fussed right before he fell asleep. For the most part, it was a fairly easy thing to do.
But 25% of it is all LIES.
Stopping to change a diaper isn't just changing a diaper. It's the planning that goes into when you are going to change that diaper. It's the planning on what you can do on that stop beyond changing the diaper. Do we have to go to the bathroom ourselves? Eat? Get something to drink? Fill up with gas?
Mapquest said it would take us 7 hours and 39 minutes to make it to Mishicot, WI.
It took us 10. At one point, we had an HOUR LONG stop, simply because we needed to eat, and we couldn't eat on the road because we also had to change him. And feed him.
There were tears along the way. Lots of me jumping from the front seat to the back, either to pump, feed him, just check to make sure he was ok. There was some laughter. But nothing compares to the video that we made when we were absolutely exhausted, just after we got there.
And the sight of my little boy in his three-piece suit was something to behold. Too cute!
In other news, I'm down 6 pounds, so I'm finally UNDER 170. Barely. By a pound, if my boobs are empty of milk. But it's still under 170.
Woop woop! Here's to 6 more in the next few weeks! I'm hoping by the time school starts (did I mention, Dad, that I took your advice and took the job?) I hope to be down to my pre-pregnancy weight. Which is still above where I want to be. So we'll see....
We will see...
Whoever said traveling with a newborn is easy was about 75% right.
He slept most of the time. He rarely cried and if he did, it was because he was too cold/hot, wanted a bottle, or fussed right before he fell asleep. For the most part, it was a fairly easy thing to do.
But 25% of it is all LIES.
Stopping to change a diaper isn't just changing a diaper. It's the planning that goes into when you are going to change that diaper. It's the planning on what you can do on that stop beyond changing the diaper. Do we have to go to the bathroom ourselves? Eat? Get something to drink? Fill up with gas?
Mapquest said it would take us 7 hours and 39 minutes to make it to Mishicot, WI.
It took us 10. At one point, we had an HOUR LONG stop, simply because we needed to eat, and we couldn't eat on the road because we also had to change him. And feed him.
There were tears along the way. Lots of me jumping from the front seat to the back, either to pump, feed him, just check to make sure he was ok. There was some laughter. But nothing compares to the video that we made when we were absolutely exhausted, just after we got there.
And the sight of my little boy in his three-piece suit was something to behold. Too cute!
In other news, I'm down 6 pounds, so I'm finally UNDER 170. Barely. By a pound, if my boobs are empty of milk. But it's still under 170.
Woop woop! Here's to 6 more in the next few weeks! I'm hoping by the time school starts (did I mention, Dad, that I took your advice and took the job?) I hope to be down to my pre-pregnancy weight. Which is still above where I want to be. So we'll see....
We will see...
Friday, June 15, 2012
The Battle Against the Bulge
And no, I'm not talking about bulging diapers. Although, that can be a battle all in itself. Of course, many times, this mom is so anxious to get her little man out of his diapers, he pees mid-change anyway. I've never had someone pee on my hand as much as this little guy. Thank God this hand works as a great shield.
But I digress.
I'm talking about my weight. And yes, I know that there's plenty of time for me to lose it. Several people say, "9 months on, 9 months off!" and "your body has changed, it takes awhile to get back to normal."
Well, damnit, I want it back to normal.
I can successful squeeeeeeeze myself into one pair of pre-preggo shorts. And no, I will not go out in public in them. But I can do it.
There are a handful of skirts that I can get around my huge hips. Thank God for my love of empire-waist dresses, as those are coming in handy right about now.
I still have to wear REAL underwear because I'm still "leaking." I hate panty lines and even the underwear that "swear" against panty lines still create them. And no, I'm not buying sizes that are too small...
Well, maybe I am? But again, I digress.
So I weight 175. One hundred. Seventy-five. Pounds. Holy crap! I thought I'd never see the day! Some people still ask me if I'm pregnant. Really? Really? Screw you and the horse you rode in on!!!
I've been counting my calories (though being very careful not to overdo since I'm breastfeeding and have been battling to get my milk supply up), and I've been trying to get out and walk walk walk. When it's nice. And not hot. And I'm not sweating all over the place.
My husband is incredibly sweet and says, "You still do it for me, babe!" Yeah...too bad I don't feel the same way about my body.
My vagina is still incredibly sore, requiring baths both in the morning and at night, and "rinsing" after using the bathroom, plus the "pain spray" after every pee.It's annoying.
The one good thing from this weight is that my boobs are FANTASTIC!! I mean, fantastic. I have always wanted bigger boobs and now I have them.
However, not a whole lot of my shirts fit because of the gigantic boobs. But that, I can deal with.
In all of this, I gripe, I moan, I feel sorry for myself. When really, I need to remember that I'm "fat" because I had a "baby." Yeah, a baby. Who cries. Sometimes a lot. But he's awesome in the end. He's 5 weeks old and we're still going strong. I still love being a mom, I still feel important and at the end of the day, we love looking at each other. Just looking.
And cuddling in the mornings. My favorite part of the day because he's wide awake and we can hang out and he coo's at me.
I love it all, even with the added weight of everything. Pun intended.
But I digress.
I'm talking about my weight. And yes, I know that there's plenty of time for me to lose it. Several people say, "9 months on, 9 months off!" and "your body has changed, it takes awhile to get back to normal."
Well, damnit, I want it back to normal.
I can successful squeeeeeeeze myself into one pair of pre-preggo shorts. And no, I will not go out in public in them. But I can do it.
There are a handful of skirts that I can get around my huge hips. Thank God for my love of empire-waist dresses, as those are coming in handy right about now.
I still have to wear REAL underwear because I'm still "leaking." I hate panty lines and even the underwear that "swear" against panty lines still create them. And no, I'm not buying sizes that are too small...
Well, maybe I am? But again, I digress.
So I weight 175. One hundred. Seventy-five. Pounds. Holy crap! I thought I'd never see the day! Some people still ask me if I'm pregnant. Really? Really? Screw you and the horse you rode in on!!!
I've been counting my calories (though being very careful not to overdo since I'm breastfeeding and have been battling to get my milk supply up), and I've been trying to get out and walk walk walk. When it's nice. And not hot. And I'm not sweating all over the place.
My husband is incredibly sweet and says, "You still do it for me, babe!" Yeah...too bad I don't feel the same way about my body.
My vagina is still incredibly sore, requiring baths both in the morning and at night, and "rinsing" after using the bathroom, plus the "pain spray" after every pee.It's annoying.
The one good thing from this weight is that my boobs are FANTASTIC!! I mean, fantastic. I have always wanted bigger boobs and now I have them.
However, not a whole lot of my shirts fit because of the gigantic boobs. But that, I can deal with.
In all of this, I gripe, I moan, I feel sorry for myself. When really, I need to remember that I'm "fat" because I had a "baby." Yeah, a baby. Who cries. Sometimes a lot. But he's awesome in the end. He's 5 weeks old and we're still going strong. I still love being a mom, I still feel important and at the end of the day, we love looking at each other. Just looking.
And cuddling in the mornings. My favorite part of the day because he's wide awake and we can hang out and he coo's at me.
I love it all, even with the added weight of everything. Pun intended.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
James Thomas and the Practical Guide to Parenting: One Month
I've been thinking a lot about the crazy things you do for your child as a mom. Who in their right mind would wake up every three hours normally? Not anyone of sound mind, that's for sure. But low and behold, James cries in the middle of the night, I'm jumping out of bed without a moment's notice. Usually I'm wide awake, ready to face whatever thing he needs from his mommy. Poopy diaper? Annihilated. Hungry? Taken care of. I'm like Super Woman. Move the hell out of my way. When my baby's crying, there's no stopping me.
Unless I'm really, really tired. And then, there's a lot stopping me.
So here's James' Practical Guide to Parenting, as written by James.
1) Stop killing yourself to change the crib sheet every time my diaper leaks. Just start me at one end of the crib and work me down to the other. Then change the crib sheet.
2) It is ok to simply rinse the bottle you just fed me with to fill it, again, with formula. It will not kill me, I swear.
3) You make up some silly-ass songs. But I absolutely love them. My name is James *clapclap* I have a rash *clapclap* On *clapclap clap* My ass. Someday this will be what we call an oldie-but-goodie.
4) I am a newborn and I have mood swings. Deal with it.
5) Sometimes I like the sound of my own voice. And the current timbre of my voice is "cry."
6) Yes, there are times that I like Dad more than you, and vice versa. Don't take it personally.
7) I cannot believe you have stooped to the level of licking your finger and wiping my face. Thought I'd never see the day.
8) Someday, I will not appreciate all these cutesy outfits you have put me in. And yes, I'm glad when Dad steps in and says you can't put me in something.
9) I don't know why you freak out about me possibly freaking out during thunderstorms. They are thunderstorms. I'm not freaking out. Why are you?
10) I love that all you let me watch is National Geographic, Animal Planet and The History Channel. Those shows are badass!
And so it goes.
There are so many other things you are starting to do. A month has flown by and this morning, you smiled at us. A genuine, non-gas-related, longer than 2 second smile. We were over the moon! There have been some trying times, too. Like when your mom forgot to take the plastic wrap off the pork roast and cooked it for four hours before she realized it. Luckily, it was the non-melting kind, but led your dad and I to get on each other's nerves and in response, hate each other for about 3 hours. But at the end of the day, we love each other and decided to eat the pork roast and then never speak of the incident again. Looking back, we were both just really tired.
But tired, mad, sad and more tired are all wrapped up with a giant ball of elatedness that you're finally here. You're ours! And we couldn't be happier.
In other news, I can't help but notice that on your one month, a young, male cardinal showed up at our house. At first, we were laughing because it seems as though he loves to harass Kinnick since Kinnick can't seem to work up the speed to actually catch him. It's not as easy as the little,defenseless bunnies he seems to massacre every night while the neighborhood is sleeping. However, I noticed on Saturday that when I got up to feed you at 5:30 a.m., there was the cardinal. Maybe 3 feet from your window, looking straight in, chirping away with all the other birds in the morning. It was striking being so close on a tiny branch, and I noticed it right away!
It stayed there the entire time I fed you, while I changed you, and then disappeared when I laid you back in your crib. I tripped, exhausted, back into our bedroom and there, on the pear tree branch right outside of our bedroom window was the cardinal. And yes, there was no mistaking it was the same cardinal. Same horn of red feathers on his head, same size, chirping away! I couldn't believe it! There are only two cardinals, a male and female, in our neighborhood, two bluejays and a handful of other birds. It was the same cardinal!
I climbed back into bed, laughing to myself.
Hiya to you too, dad. Good to see you and thank you for watching over myself and James, and then showing back up to tell me I'm doing a good job. Sometimes, it feels like I'm not and I'm the worst mother in the world. Like when I don't necessarily know what to "do" with James - he can't see that well yet, but will this toy or that activity mat keep his interest?
I haven't seen you for a few days, dad, but I know you'll be back just when I'm feeling extra exhausted, sort of defeated and really overwhelmed. Thank you for that.
Thank you thank you thank you for that.
Unless I'm really, really tired. And then, there's a lot stopping me.
So here's James' Practical Guide to Parenting, as written by James.
1) Stop killing yourself to change the crib sheet every time my diaper leaks. Just start me at one end of the crib and work me down to the other. Then change the crib sheet.
2) It is ok to simply rinse the bottle you just fed me with to fill it, again, with formula. It will not kill me, I swear.
3) You make up some silly-ass songs. But I absolutely love them. My name is James *clapclap* I have a rash *clapclap* On *clapclap clap* My ass. Someday this will be what we call an oldie-but-goodie.
4) I am a newborn and I have mood swings. Deal with it.
5) Sometimes I like the sound of my own voice. And the current timbre of my voice is "cry."
6) Yes, there are times that I like Dad more than you, and vice versa. Don't take it personally.
7) I cannot believe you have stooped to the level of licking your finger and wiping my face. Thought I'd never see the day.
8) Someday, I will not appreciate all these cutesy outfits you have put me in. And yes, I'm glad when Dad steps in and says you can't put me in something.
9) I don't know why you freak out about me possibly freaking out during thunderstorms. They are thunderstorms. I'm not freaking out. Why are you?
10) I love that all you let me watch is National Geographic, Animal Planet and The History Channel. Those shows are badass!
And so it goes.
There are so many other things you are starting to do. A month has flown by and this morning, you smiled at us. A genuine, non-gas-related, longer than 2 second smile. We were over the moon! There have been some trying times, too. Like when your mom forgot to take the plastic wrap off the pork roast and cooked it for four hours before she realized it. Luckily, it was the non-melting kind, but led your dad and I to get on each other's nerves and in response, hate each other for about 3 hours. But at the end of the day, we love each other and decided to eat the pork roast and then never speak of the incident again. Looking back, we were both just really tired.
But tired, mad, sad and more tired are all wrapped up with a giant ball of elatedness that you're finally here. You're ours! And we couldn't be happier.
In other news, I can't help but notice that on your one month, a young, male cardinal showed up at our house. At first, we were laughing because it seems as though he loves to harass Kinnick since Kinnick can't seem to work up the speed to actually catch him. It's not as easy as the little,defenseless bunnies he seems to massacre every night while the neighborhood is sleeping. However, I noticed on Saturday that when I got up to feed you at 5:30 a.m., there was the cardinal. Maybe 3 feet from your window, looking straight in, chirping away with all the other birds in the morning. It was striking being so close on a tiny branch, and I noticed it right away!
It stayed there the entire time I fed you, while I changed you, and then disappeared when I laid you back in your crib. I tripped, exhausted, back into our bedroom and there, on the pear tree branch right outside of our bedroom window was the cardinal. And yes, there was no mistaking it was the same cardinal. Same horn of red feathers on his head, same size, chirping away! I couldn't believe it! There are only two cardinals, a male and female, in our neighborhood, two bluejays and a handful of other birds. It was the same cardinal!
I climbed back into bed, laughing to myself.
Hiya to you too, dad. Good to see you and thank you for watching over myself and James, and then showing back up to tell me I'm doing a good job. Sometimes, it feels like I'm not and I'm the worst mother in the world. Like when I don't necessarily know what to "do" with James - he can't see that well yet, but will this toy or that activity mat keep his interest?
I haven't seen you for a few days, dad, but I know you'll be back just when I'm feeling extra exhausted, sort of defeated and really overwhelmed. Thank you for that.
Thank you thank you thank you for that.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Maverick and Goose
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| Maverick and Goose |
I thought I would take a photo to commemorate the event.
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| You even sleep alike! |
He's so incredibly proud to have a son.
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| Mama and her Cuddly Bear |
I love every second of it. I gave you the gift of life, sure, but you have given me a greater sense in life. I am so thankful for that.
I love you!
Monday, May 14, 2012
James Thomas and the Phantom Booger
You're heee-eerreee!!! You made it out into the world and we couldn't be more happy!!!
On Friday morning, I woke up about 1 a.m. with contractions. Again. Oh my, how I was getting tired of these "fake" contractions. Would you just make your appearance already??
By 4:30, these contractions were anywhere from 7-10 minutes, but they were excrutiating. Seriously, these were fake?? I knew that I "couldn't call" the OB/hospital until they were 5 minutes apart, but just when they would get down to 7, they would take a 15 minute break and then a 20 minute break, then they'd be back down to ten.
But they would last FOR-E-VER. I became so frustrated I crawled out of bed at 4:30 and started up the shower. I had read somewhere that a warm shower/bath would help to alleviate my contractions and possibly make them go away altogether. If they were fake...
And so, crying, I ran the shower and woke up your dad. He asked me what I was doing and upon my answering, could tell I was crying. So he came into the bathroom with me to sit out my frustrations and hopefully help me through some of these contractions and in time, see them go away.
I must have looked pathetic sitting in the shower, on a towel b/c I couldn't keep myself upright. Crying because I was so tired and frustrated and in so much pain. Once I got out, I crawled back into bed. Miserably, I crawled back into bed. I was done with being pregnant.
Somehow, I got to sleep for a few minutes (definitely no more than an hour) and laid in bed until 11:00 a.m. By that time, the contractions were no more than 10 minutes apart, but the pain factor had been ramped up and beyond that, they were lasting more than 3 minutes. I was crying out in pain, and your dad came in just as the first part of the contraction was at it's peak. Yes, first contraction...
I told him he needed to call someone, I couldn't take this anymore. He asked me who and I yelled at him, "THE HOSPITAL!" So he called and simply said, "Hi. My wife is in excrutiating pain." He then told them how far along I was and they told us to come in. Thinking, hoping, praying they were going to keep us, I had him pack everything up while I laid in bed, enduring wave after wave of pain.
We got to the hospital about 12:00 (noon) and I was still in tears. I had not showered for a day and a half, I had been crying for since almost 1:00 a.m., and I was wearing my pajamas. We got to the front desk and I told them who I was and why I was coming in. Through the tears, I told them that I knew the magic number as 5, but I had been having contractions about 10 minutes apart and lasting for what seemed like forever.
They took me into triage and the nurse checked me. I was 5-6 cm dilated. Holy crap! I thought. Then I was ecstatic. They had to keep me at 5-6 cm dilated. I felt like I was being watched to make sure these horrible contractions were actually lasting, but the nurse couldn't pick them up. I only had one "horrible" contraction while waiting in triage and that was enough for the nurse. She came back in and said:
"Ok, we have a room for you! Looks like you're going to have a baby today!"
Oh my god, we were going to have a Baby. Not just a baby, but a Baby. With a capital B. B for "responsiBle for another human life."
But I didn't have much time to think about it as I was hurried down the hallway.I was asked beforehand if I had wanted an epidural. I said ABSOLUTELY. I wasn't about to push a watermelon through my kiwi with no drugs!
On our way down the hallway to our end "suite" I had another contraction. Nurse Vanessa was so sweet and said, "We can stop if you need to," and true to form in the time of crisis, your dear old mom said, "Nope. Just gotta. power. throughit." And power through it, I did. We got to the room and I asked the nurse if I could possibly take a shower. I didn't want to power through a birth and then not have any energy to take a shower, only to be skanky for a couple more days. No thanks.
And so my adventure into motherhood truly began. I got my IV, the epidural was in place, the dr. broke my bag of water and in less than 4 hours, I went from almost 6 cm dilated to 10 cm dilated.
Your Grandma Terri got there right at 5:00, which was right before I was about to start pushing. She said hello, then went to the waiting room, hoping not to have to wait too long, I'm sure!
So at about 5:35 p.m., I started pushing. And I worked hard. But your daddy worked equally as hard. He held my leg, held my back, and rooted me on. True to form, your daddy's encouragement, tough love and support got me through one of the biggest moments of my life. I truly think that sometimes he was put in my "path" because I needed someone like that.
I didn't dare open my eyes, and I kept being asked if I wanted a mirror. Are you kidding? Of course I didn't want a mirror!!! Why on earth would I want to see that? Out of sight, out of mind. So I concentrated on pushing. I told the nurses when I needed to push. I pushed as hard has I could and apparently became very vocal. I pushed and pushed and pushed. But you helped because it was very apparent you were ready to come out into the world.
Your head began to "break through" shall we say, and I remember distinctly telling the nurses to just grab it. One of the nurses said, "There's nothing to grab onto, honey." Well FIND SOMETHING! I remember thinking to myself.
At another point, there was a shift change and doctor who broke my water was not the doctor who was going to be delivering me. They couldn't find Dr. Bellaire, and I was on the verge of pushing the head out. I remember the nurses making me breathe through a couple contractions - not because they were painful, but because the urge to push was overpowering. So I breathed through them. I centered myself and made sure to not push.
Finally, the doctor made her appearance, and had to put on her scrubs. I began to tell the nurses that I had to push, and the doctor said, "Just wait! I have to put my scrubs on!" I remember answering, "Well HURRY UP!" I apologized for that later... but seriously, you didn't have your scrubs on upon walking into a birth?
So there it was - all sorts of people were in the room, but I was in the zone. And I pushed without taking a break - once, twice, three times. I remember twirling my finger in the air, signaling I was going to push again, and I did, a fourth time. And all of a sudden, one of the nurses said, "Open your eyes!"
So I did. And there you were. Sliding out and into the doctors arms. I had told the nurses that I wanted you put on my chest immediately, and your daddy wanted to cut the cord. Neither of those things happened. Instead, you were whisked to the table, where the nurses began rubbing you down. You weren't crying. Why weren't you crying??
Your dad bent down and I could tell her was on the verge of tears as he said some lovely thing to me that to this day, I will probably never remember. I just remember he was so excited, overcome with emotion and so obviously proud of me. It was a lovely, lovely moment. I finally asked him to go check on you as I had finally heard you cry, but I knew that there was a reason you didn't get to cut the cord and a reason why they didn't put you on my chest.
You had your umbilical cord wrapped around you neck, causing the doctor to cut it as soon as she saw it. Because of that, in combination with the fact you didn't cry right away, they needed to put you on the table to make sure you were ok.
And you were. Not just ok, but you were perfect. I asked your dad to go check on you and make sure you were all right, and a nurse answered that you were. But he's your daddy. And I needed to know from your daddy, not some stranger who had been holding my legs back.
There you were, all 8 pounds, 14.5 ounces, and 21 inches of you. I can't believe you were almost 9 pounds! It was incredible and YOU were incredible! My life changed, officially for the better, at 6:38 p.m. on May 11, 2012. Your dad went over and videotaped your weight and there you were. They wrapped you up and you came over and they put you on my chest. And you were beautiful! PERFECT!
After that, it's all a blur. Lots of friends came to see us in the hospital. Grandma Mary is absolutely smitten with you. Your dad is over the moon for you. I am in complete love with you. Grandma Terri thinks you're beautiful and I know Grandpa Tom had something to do with how perfect, sweet and innocent you are.
Everyone says that you don't know love until you have a child. I always thought it was a feeling, but now, I realize it's something bigger than yourself. Something incredibly beautiful and now, I know.
I love you, James Thomas. I am so incredibly fortunate. You are so perfect. Perfect.
Fast forward to the homecoming and beyond:
Since then, it's been amazing. We came home yesterday and it was fun to take our first car ride with you. We were so careful, it's so funny! You're not going to break, but we just want the best for you. The absolute best. I love you. Love love love you!
Last night, your daddy, who has been incredibly confident up until this point, had a bit of a freak out. And somehow, we totally switched roles, and I was the one who ended up calming him down. For some reason, the nurse made mention at the hospital that sometimes, newborns have phlegm and other things that might get "stuck" in their throat, and because you're still learning your swallowing reflex, you might have a hard time actually swallowing. This might cause you to stop breathing and if that happens, we just need to put you in an uncomfortable position with your head lower than your body and rub you vigorously to make you cry. That will keep you breathing.
Oh lordy. So last night, your dad swore you had a booger in your nose that was keeping you from breathing well. And truthfully, you did sound a little stuffed up, but I wasn't too worried about it. But your dad was all of a sudden on alert, at nearly midnight, with the fear that this phantom booger might keep you from breathing. So I got up, went over to him, grabbed you out of his arms and "got his head on straight," as he told me tonight when we were talking about it.
Which made me realize that I'm lucky that Grandpa Tom has given me some of his confidence that you will be all right. I don't need to freak out about every little thing and you'll be fine, if we give you everything we have and then some.
So in all, you've been a great baby and we're very fortunate. I cannot imagine what life was like before you, even though it was only a short while ago.
I love you, James Thomas!
On Friday morning, I woke up about 1 a.m. with contractions. Again. Oh my, how I was getting tired of these "fake" contractions. Would you just make your appearance already??
By 4:30, these contractions were anywhere from 7-10 minutes, but they were excrutiating. Seriously, these were fake?? I knew that I "couldn't call" the OB/hospital until they were 5 minutes apart, but just when they would get down to 7, they would take a 15 minute break and then a 20 minute break, then they'd be back down to ten.
But they would last FOR-E-VER. I became so frustrated I crawled out of bed at 4:30 and started up the shower. I had read somewhere that a warm shower/bath would help to alleviate my contractions and possibly make them go away altogether. If they were fake...
And so, crying, I ran the shower and woke up your dad. He asked me what I was doing and upon my answering, could tell I was crying. So he came into the bathroom with me to sit out my frustrations and hopefully help me through some of these contractions and in time, see them go away.
I must have looked pathetic sitting in the shower, on a towel b/c I couldn't keep myself upright. Crying because I was so tired and frustrated and in so much pain. Once I got out, I crawled back into bed. Miserably, I crawled back into bed. I was done with being pregnant.
Somehow, I got to sleep for a few minutes (definitely no more than an hour) and laid in bed until 11:00 a.m. By that time, the contractions were no more than 10 minutes apart, but the pain factor had been ramped up and beyond that, they were lasting more than 3 minutes. I was crying out in pain, and your dad came in just as the first part of the contraction was at it's peak. Yes, first contraction...
I told him he needed to call someone, I couldn't take this anymore. He asked me who and I yelled at him, "THE HOSPITAL!" So he called and simply said, "Hi. My wife is in excrutiating pain." He then told them how far along I was and they told us to come in. Thinking, hoping, praying they were going to keep us, I had him pack everything up while I laid in bed, enduring wave after wave of pain.
We got to the hospital about 12:00 (noon) and I was still in tears. I had not showered for a day and a half, I had been crying for since almost 1:00 a.m., and I was wearing my pajamas. We got to the front desk and I told them who I was and why I was coming in. Through the tears, I told them that I knew the magic number as 5, but I had been having contractions about 10 minutes apart and lasting for what seemed like forever.
They took me into triage and the nurse checked me. I was 5-6 cm dilated. Holy crap! I thought. Then I was ecstatic. They had to keep me at 5-6 cm dilated. I felt like I was being watched to make sure these horrible contractions were actually lasting, but the nurse couldn't pick them up. I only had one "horrible" contraction while waiting in triage and that was enough for the nurse. She came back in and said:
"Ok, we have a room for you! Looks like you're going to have a baby today!"
Oh my god, we were going to have a Baby. Not just a baby, but a Baby. With a capital B. B for "responsiBle for another human life."
But I didn't have much time to think about it as I was hurried down the hallway.I was asked beforehand if I had wanted an epidural. I said ABSOLUTELY. I wasn't about to push a watermelon through my kiwi with no drugs!
On our way down the hallway to our end "suite" I had another contraction. Nurse Vanessa was so sweet and said, "We can stop if you need to," and true to form in the time of crisis, your dear old mom said, "Nope. Just gotta. power. throughit." And power through it, I did. We got to the room and I asked the nurse if I could possibly take a shower. I didn't want to power through a birth and then not have any energy to take a shower, only to be skanky for a couple more days. No thanks.
And so my adventure into motherhood truly began. I got my IV, the epidural was in place, the dr. broke my bag of water and in less than 4 hours, I went from almost 6 cm dilated to 10 cm dilated.
Your Grandma Terri got there right at 5:00, which was right before I was about to start pushing. She said hello, then went to the waiting room, hoping not to have to wait too long, I'm sure!
So at about 5:35 p.m., I started pushing. And I worked hard. But your daddy worked equally as hard. He held my leg, held my back, and rooted me on. True to form, your daddy's encouragement, tough love and support got me through one of the biggest moments of my life. I truly think that sometimes he was put in my "path" because I needed someone like that.
I didn't dare open my eyes, and I kept being asked if I wanted a mirror. Are you kidding? Of course I didn't want a mirror!!! Why on earth would I want to see that? Out of sight, out of mind. So I concentrated on pushing. I told the nurses when I needed to push. I pushed as hard has I could and apparently became very vocal. I pushed and pushed and pushed. But you helped because it was very apparent you were ready to come out into the world.
Your head began to "break through" shall we say, and I remember distinctly telling the nurses to just grab it. One of the nurses said, "There's nothing to grab onto, honey." Well FIND SOMETHING! I remember thinking to myself.
At another point, there was a shift change and doctor who broke my water was not the doctor who was going to be delivering me. They couldn't find Dr. Bellaire, and I was on the verge of pushing the head out. I remember the nurses making me breathe through a couple contractions - not because they were painful, but because the urge to push was overpowering. So I breathed through them. I centered myself and made sure to not push.
Finally, the doctor made her appearance, and had to put on her scrubs. I began to tell the nurses that I had to push, and the doctor said, "Just wait! I have to put my scrubs on!" I remember answering, "Well HURRY UP!" I apologized for that later... but seriously, you didn't have your scrubs on upon walking into a birth?
So there it was - all sorts of people were in the room, but I was in the zone. And I pushed without taking a break - once, twice, three times. I remember twirling my finger in the air, signaling I was going to push again, and I did, a fourth time. And all of a sudden, one of the nurses said, "Open your eyes!"
So I did. And there you were. Sliding out and into the doctors arms. I had told the nurses that I wanted you put on my chest immediately, and your daddy wanted to cut the cord. Neither of those things happened. Instead, you were whisked to the table, where the nurses began rubbing you down. You weren't crying. Why weren't you crying??
Your dad bent down and I could tell her was on the verge of tears as he said some lovely thing to me that to this day, I will probably never remember. I just remember he was so excited, overcome with emotion and so obviously proud of me. It was a lovely, lovely moment. I finally asked him to go check on you as I had finally heard you cry, but I knew that there was a reason you didn't get to cut the cord and a reason why they didn't put you on my chest.
You had your umbilical cord wrapped around you neck, causing the doctor to cut it as soon as she saw it. Because of that, in combination with the fact you didn't cry right away, they needed to put you on the table to make sure you were ok.
And you were. Not just ok, but you were perfect. I asked your dad to go check on you and make sure you were all right, and a nurse answered that you were. But he's your daddy. And I needed to know from your daddy, not some stranger who had been holding my legs back.
There you were, all 8 pounds, 14.5 ounces, and 21 inches of you. I can't believe you were almost 9 pounds! It was incredible and YOU were incredible! My life changed, officially for the better, at 6:38 p.m. on May 11, 2012. Your dad went over and videotaped your weight and there you were. They wrapped you up and you came over and they put you on my chest. And you were beautiful! PERFECT!
After that, it's all a blur. Lots of friends came to see us in the hospital. Grandma Mary is absolutely smitten with you. Your dad is over the moon for you. I am in complete love with you. Grandma Terri thinks you're beautiful and I know Grandpa Tom had something to do with how perfect, sweet and innocent you are.
Everyone says that you don't know love until you have a child. I always thought it was a feeling, but now, I realize it's something bigger than yourself. Something incredibly beautiful and now, I know.
I love you, James Thomas. I am so incredibly fortunate. You are so perfect. Perfect.
Fast forward to the homecoming and beyond:
Since then, it's been amazing. We came home yesterday and it was fun to take our first car ride with you. We were so careful, it's so funny! You're not going to break, but we just want the best for you. The absolute best. I love you. Love love love you!
Last night, your daddy, who has been incredibly confident up until this point, had a bit of a freak out. And somehow, we totally switched roles, and I was the one who ended up calming him down. For some reason, the nurse made mention at the hospital that sometimes, newborns have phlegm and other things that might get "stuck" in their throat, and because you're still learning your swallowing reflex, you might have a hard time actually swallowing. This might cause you to stop breathing and if that happens, we just need to put you in an uncomfortable position with your head lower than your body and rub you vigorously to make you cry. That will keep you breathing.
Oh lordy. So last night, your dad swore you had a booger in your nose that was keeping you from breathing well. And truthfully, you did sound a little stuffed up, but I wasn't too worried about it. But your dad was all of a sudden on alert, at nearly midnight, with the fear that this phantom booger might keep you from breathing. So I got up, went over to him, grabbed you out of his arms and "got his head on straight," as he told me tonight when we were talking about it.
Which made me realize that I'm lucky that Grandpa Tom has given me some of his confidence that you will be all right. I don't need to freak out about every little thing and you'll be fine, if we give you everything we have and then some.
So in all, you've been a great baby and we're very fortunate. I cannot imagine what life was like before you, even though it was only a short while ago.
I love you, James Thomas!
Thursday, May 10, 2012
40 Weeks + 4 and What's This "Prodromal Labor?"
Well well well, Baby Engels, you still have yet to make your appearance.
I went to the doctor on Monday and he stretched me, again. I'm not sure if he stripped my membranes, but he definitely did something down there! And nothing happened!!! I was expecting bright red blood, floods of mucus-y discharge and even more so, your birth. But there was nothing! Nada!!!
But on Monday night, I started having contractions. Then I was able to sleep through them, and woke up at 5:00 on Tuesday morning with contractions that took my breath away! "This is it!" I remember thinking.
Nope!
I called in sick to work, to essentially start my "Maternity Leave" and came downstairs to eat something. Yep, I was still having contractions! I did some things around the house, gliding around because I was so excited. Only to be incredibly disappointed not even four hours later. The contractions went away. I was devastated.
And then they started back up again!!!!! But it was nothing to get excited about...
This went on all day. ALL. DAY. Finally, a little after midnight, with absolutely no progression and only steady contractions that came and went, I was able to get to sleep.
Only to bolt upright in bed (as much as my 40 week pregnant body will let me "bolt" at this point...) at 4:00 a.m. to a contraction that was incredibly painful.
And here it was again. The same thing. Only to end about 6:00 a.m., when I fell back to sleep. I awoke at 8:00 a.m. and had more contractions throughout the day. I made your dad go with me on a walk, and about noon, my contractions took off. They were coming about every 7-10 minutes and incredibly painful. Your dad was awesome, talking me through them and making sure I was breathing, which is very important to the health of YOU.
I finally called the hospital at about 4:00 p.m. frustrated that this had been happening for about 12 hours off and on. I was frustrated and concerned for your health and what did the hospital tell me? "Not until they're 5 minutes apart and painful." Um, these are fucking painful. What the hell? But I hung up with them, discouraged and pissed off. Your dad suggested we do something to get my mind off of it. So I cleaned the floor, he helped me, and we made dinner.
All the while, I was still having contractions that were painful to the point where I had to bend over and support myself on something. They took my breath away.
I walked around the house and your dad timed them. 5 minutes, 5 minutes, 5 minutes, 7 minutes? Then 12 minutes? Then 3 minutes, then 4 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 4 minutes. It went on like this for hours. It was painful, exhausting and emotionally draining. Each time I would get closer to 5 minute contractions for about a minute each for an hour, it would change. Each time I went to the bathroom, it felt like I was having a contraction. Each time I got up or changed position, it would be one or two extra minutes that it took to have another contraction.
Talk about frustration.
Then I had a freezie pop (your dad and his freezie pops!) and it was delicious, so I had another. And they started to subside. I could feel my body starting to relax. I sat down and nearly fell asleep because I was so tired.
I did some Google searches on this afterward, and Prodomal Labor is what I came up with. What exactly is it? Essentially, it's also known as "false" labor, although there's nothing "false" about it, or otherwise known as "early labor," which is the labor that prepares your body for active labor. Some women go through it all in one fell swoop (early, active, post-baby) and some women, like me, get to put up with it for days or WEEKS before giving birth. So when people say, "I was in labor for 36 hours before I gave birth" they actually aren't too far off. Usually the contractions aren't consistent and they are usually between 7-10 minutes apart, no more, no less. It's to ready your body for labor. So this might explain all the cramps I've been having for the past 2 weeks. Braxton Hicks contractions are essentially the same as prodromal labor.
It's excrutiating.
However, after my rest last night, I feel good, but I know if I do anything "extra" today, it will send me into these contractions again. And I can't do it. Not for three days in a row.
So here I am, on the couch, blogging, relaxing, watching TV and patiently waiting for your arrival. After the past 48 hours, I can wait a few more to have you in a pitocin-induced, epidural haze.
And even though I can wait, I can't. I am so excited to have you and I already love you to pieces!!!
I went to the doctor on Monday and he stretched me, again. I'm not sure if he stripped my membranes, but he definitely did something down there! And nothing happened!!! I was expecting bright red blood, floods of mucus-y discharge and even more so, your birth. But there was nothing! Nada!!!
But on Monday night, I started having contractions. Then I was able to sleep through them, and woke up at 5:00 on Tuesday morning with contractions that took my breath away! "This is it!" I remember thinking.
Nope!
I called in sick to work, to essentially start my "Maternity Leave" and came downstairs to eat something. Yep, I was still having contractions! I did some things around the house, gliding around because I was so excited. Only to be incredibly disappointed not even four hours later. The contractions went away. I was devastated.
And then they started back up again!!!!! But it was nothing to get excited about...
This went on all day. ALL. DAY. Finally, a little after midnight, with absolutely no progression and only steady contractions that came and went, I was able to get to sleep.
Only to bolt upright in bed (as much as my 40 week pregnant body will let me "bolt" at this point...) at 4:00 a.m. to a contraction that was incredibly painful.
And here it was again. The same thing. Only to end about 6:00 a.m., when I fell back to sleep. I awoke at 8:00 a.m. and had more contractions throughout the day. I made your dad go with me on a walk, and about noon, my contractions took off. They were coming about every 7-10 minutes and incredibly painful. Your dad was awesome, talking me through them and making sure I was breathing, which is very important to the health of YOU.
I finally called the hospital at about 4:00 p.m. frustrated that this had been happening for about 12 hours off and on. I was frustrated and concerned for your health and what did the hospital tell me? "Not until they're 5 minutes apart and painful." Um, these are fucking painful. What the hell? But I hung up with them, discouraged and pissed off. Your dad suggested we do something to get my mind off of it. So I cleaned the floor, he helped me, and we made dinner.
All the while, I was still having contractions that were painful to the point where I had to bend over and support myself on something. They took my breath away.
I walked around the house and your dad timed them. 5 minutes, 5 minutes, 5 minutes, 7 minutes? Then 12 minutes? Then 3 minutes, then 4 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 4 minutes. It went on like this for hours. It was painful, exhausting and emotionally draining. Each time I would get closer to 5 minute contractions for about a minute each for an hour, it would change. Each time I went to the bathroom, it felt like I was having a contraction. Each time I got up or changed position, it would be one or two extra minutes that it took to have another contraction.
Talk about frustration.
Then I had a freezie pop (your dad and his freezie pops!) and it was delicious, so I had another. And they started to subside. I could feel my body starting to relax. I sat down and nearly fell asleep because I was so tired.
I did some Google searches on this afterward, and Prodomal Labor is what I came up with. What exactly is it? Essentially, it's also known as "false" labor, although there's nothing "false" about it, or otherwise known as "early labor," which is the labor that prepares your body for active labor. Some women go through it all in one fell swoop (early, active, post-baby) and some women, like me, get to put up with it for days or WEEKS before giving birth. So when people say, "I was in labor for 36 hours before I gave birth" they actually aren't too far off. Usually the contractions aren't consistent and they are usually between 7-10 minutes apart, no more, no less. It's to ready your body for labor. So this might explain all the cramps I've been having for the past 2 weeks. Braxton Hicks contractions are essentially the same as prodromal labor.
It's excrutiating.
However, after my rest last night, I feel good, but I know if I do anything "extra" today, it will send me into these contractions again. And I can't do it. Not for three days in a row.
So here I am, on the couch, blogging, relaxing, watching TV and patiently waiting for your arrival. After the past 48 hours, I can wait a few more to have you in a pitocin-induced, epidural haze.
And even though I can wait, I can't. I am so excited to have you and I already love you to pieces!!!
Monday, May 7, 2012
40 WEEKS!
 |
| Mama Engels at 40 Weeks! |
That's a long time to be pregnant!
I've been thinking a lot about this post. What on earth am I going to write about? What should I want you to know when you read this 25 years down the line when you're expecting your own little bundle of joy.
You already know how you came to be, how we announced you, how I enjoyed (and didn't always enjoy) being pregnant. How I've waited for you, how I'm sad that your Grandpa Tom isn't here, how your dad and I are trying to do those "couple" things for the last time, how I'm elated to give your daddy the chance to be just that - a daddy.
So I guess there's just one more thing to write about. Your daddy.
1) Your daddy knows just how to handle me. Somehow, he's got it down to a fine art. For instance, tonight when we went fishing (to celebrate your due date...hilarious!) I got frustrated and somehow your daddy picked up on that very quickly. So what did he do? Blamed it on the fish, just like I was doing. Just so I wouldn't get so frustrated. He's too kind to point out my flaws.
2) Your daddy can act exactly like a big kid. Another example from our fishing excursion today: your daddy didn't want to go, but I was getting hungry, tired, and very crampy from contractions. So he said, "Just let me try and get rid of this worm" and dipped his pole and line in the water. I was thinking he just wanted to snag it on something. Nope, he was definitely still trying to fish. Without re-baiting his hook, but by using what he had left. He didn't want to leave, and he didn't want to waste the rest of his worm. Hilarious!
3) He is so excited for you to get here. I can see the disappoint when each day goes by and you're not here. I know he's going to love you with everything that he has and then some. I'm so glad that I finally put away my reservations, stopped letting life pass me by and gave him this beautiful gift. And myself. I can't wait to meet you!
4) I call him putt-putt, but I wish I had even the smallest amount of insight into situations that he has. It seems like every time I get worked up about something, he has a different way of looking at it that's more kind, sincere, and thoughtful. He makes educated decisions after weighing all the facts, and if there's anything I have learned from him, it's that you always, always make decisions after gathering the facts, not the opinions.
5) He is one of the most supportive and loyal people I have ever met. Because, once again, he takes the high road and always, always tells me, "Keep your side of the street clean." Sometimes he's so wise, I wonder where he hides that little boy that occasionally comes out to play.
6) I admire his tact, his ability to deal with people and his integrity. Sometimes, I can't believe how lucky I am. It hasn't always been this way between us, but now that it is, I can't ever see it being another way. Every day when I wake up, I love him even more. I know when I see him hold you, I will love him even more. I love him even more, every day. It's a lovely feeling.
7) There is something about being 100% completely yourself with someone. There are people with whom I am 90% real with. But with Eric, he knows all my secrets, flaws and fears, and yet he still loves me with everything he has. So I'm safe with him. And there's never a time that he doesn't love me. He always shows me respect, always treats me with kindness and makes sure I am happy. I cannot be more thankful!
8) He is so funny!!! He has some of the sharpest wit, funniest comebacks and overall, always makes me laugh. There was once upon a time where we didn't really laugh all that much, but we do now, and it's the most glorious thing. I love love love laughing with your dad, and it's one of my favorite things to do.
8) Your daddy is my best friend. I may not always like him and the things he does or the flaws he may have, but overall, he's my best friend. He encourages me, he supports me, he throws me a bone when I get frustrated over something stupid (i.e. the fish incident today...) and I can't think of anyone who will be a better father to anyone. I have seen him in just about every role and I cannot wait to see him in this one. He will be fantastic with it.
In other news, last night, we were watching the show Long Island Medium. Eric asked if I believed in that type of thing. I said yes and he replied with the fact that awhile back in our relationship, I had seemed so on the fence about it. I told him that was definitely before my dad died, and now that he is gone, I have seen things and felt things that you can't really explain. And it's my dad. I know it's my dad.
So I went on to say how I thought my dad had a hand in us having a baby boy. Because I knew my dad wouldn't give me a girl! He knows me too well. Eric came back with, "Maybe your dad gave us a boy because he didn't want me to be alone!" HILARIOUS! And it was with that comment that I am always astounded by his insight in things. That's exactly what my dad would have done. Not that he didn't always look out for me, but we're also talking about your grandpa, who patted your dad on the back when your dad asked to marry me, and said, "Well...good luck!" HA! So maybe you being a boy is my dad being humorous, but especially supportive. That would be just like your grandpa to joke like that. Ohhh, chuckles...
Otherwise, I'm just going to enjoy the time I have left with your dad. Because I know once you get here, it will be the both of us, together, but not really focusing on the us of things, but more on the you of things.
I love you already! Can't wait for you to be here!!!
Saturday, May 5, 2012
39 Weeks + 6 Days
Well well well...
There are several things that are happening with Mama that makes me think you will be here soon.
For instance, I'm losing more of my mucus plug. Continually. Every time I go to the bathroom. This morning I had some pretty intense cramping, which again, makes me think you might be on your way. And I had this weird weird feeling like I had to go to the bathroom, but I couldn't go! Nothing would come out, so I thought maybe I was just constipated?? So I took some fiber gummies and that just gave me gas. (And all of a sudden, I just thought that you might be reading this when you're expecting your own little bundle of joy and think, "Mom!")
But I have had some intense cramping all day. Most of the day. Even when cleaning out the car etc. And walking around the house. So hopefully that means you're on your way. Nothing timeable or really even anything that might make me think, "This is it!!!" but nonetheless, something.
I'm also having horrible pelvic floor pains, thanks to your head trying to bust out I'm sure. It's hurt quite a bit today, and I'm hoping it will continue, simply because I want you to come soon!!!! I'm hoping for a Cinco de Mayo baby, but Jose Engels just doesn't have a good ring to it.
Oh well. Ole! Can't wait to meet you and hope to see you soon! You can be my little Mexican Holiday Baby. Haha.
There are several things that are happening with Mama that makes me think you will be here soon.
For instance, I'm losing more of my mucus plug. Continually. Every time I go to the bathroom. This morning I had some pretty intense cramping, which again, makes me think you might be on your way. And I had this weird weird feeling like I had to go to the bathroom, but I couldn't go! Nothing would come out, so I thought maybe I was just constipated?? So I took some fiber gummies and that just gave me gas. (And all of a sudden, I just thought that you might be reading this when you're expecting your own little bundle of joy and think, "Mom!")
But I have had some intense cramping all day. Most of the day. Even when cleaning out the car etc. And walking around the house. So hopefully that means you're on your way. Nothing timeable or really even anything that might make me think, "This is it!!!" but nonetheless, something.
I'm also having horrible pelvic floor pains, thanks to your head trying to bust out I'm sure. It's hurt quite a bit today, and I'm hoping it will continue, simply because I want you to come soon!!!! I'm hoping for a Cinco de Mayo baby, but Jose Engels just doesn't have a good ring to it.
Oh well. Ole! Can't wait to meet you and hope to see you soon! You can be my little Mexican Holiday Baby. Haha.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
39 Weeks + 4 Days
How lucky am I to have had this "normal" of a pregnancy?
With that being said, I'm really getting sick and tired of this normal pregnancy. I'd like you to come as soon as possible please!!! Only a few more days until your due date and I'm anxious to meet you. Very very very anxious to meet you. I think you'll be beautiful and handsome and we're going to fawn all over you.
I also cannot WAIT to see your daddy with you - he's going to be so gentle and kind and loving and caring and adorable! I know you're going to steal his heart!!!
How far along? 39 weeks
Maternity clothes? I've been wearing my jean skirt, dresses and just about anything that will allow me to breathe. It's been so HOT (75-80 degrees...I know I know, but to this pregnant mama, that's hot!) and I've been so swollen! All I want to do is walk around naked.
With that being said, I'm really getting sick and tired of this normal pregnancy. I'd like you to come as soon as possible please!!! Only a few more days until your due date and I'm anxious to meet you. Very very very anxious to meet you. I think you'll be beautiful and handsome and we're going to fawn all over you.
I also cannot WAIT to see your daddy with you - he's going to be so gentle and kind and loving and caring and adorable! I know you're going to steal his heart!!!
How far along? 39 weeks
Maternity clothes? I've been wearing my jean skirt, dresses and just about anything that will allow me to breathe. It's been so HOT (75-80 degrees...I know I know, but to this pregnant mama, that's hot!) and I've been so swollen! All I want to do is walk around naked.
Stretch marks? Yes. Four. On my left love-handle. Very very small and just look like red dots made with a pink marker or something. But they're there. What a weird place to get them!
Sleep? Sleep is officially fleeting. I have been off and on again with my sleep cycle, some nights barely remembering waking up a million times and some nights, I'm up for a couple hours in the middle of the night. I think I'm just getting antsy.
Best moment this week? My contractions came BACK after disappearing last Friday. And I've been having them ever since!!!
Miss anything? Being able to move freely, easily and without my hips popping every time I get up.
Movement? Oh my oh my have you slowed down. It must be getting super tight in there! Now you just moooooovveeeeeeee slooooooooowly across my belly. It's fun to watch. :)
Food cravings? Nah, just food. Lots of it.
Anything make you queasy or sick? Not really, just the usual.
Labor signs? Since no one else really reads this, my mucus plug has begun falling out. At least, that's the only probable thing it could be. I'd hate to know if it's actually anything else. I've also been overly tired, a little nauseous and very irritable. Oh, irritability isn't a sign of labor? Oops...
Symptoms? My irritable uterus. Bah. And my irritable attitude. I'm not sure what one is worse...
Belly button in or out? In/out.
Linea nigra? Yes!
Wedding ring on or off? Off. Still. Because it's HOT.
Happy or moody? Oh my, have I been moody. Your daddy has been taking it in stride and I'm thankful that he has stuck by me for this long. I've been trying to keep myself in check, but just an hour ago, I was crying in the kitchen when we were talking about something that isn't worth crying over. And how do I know this? Because I can't really remember what made me start to cry...
Looking forward to: Cinco de Mayo. Because I think this is when you'll make your appearance. Don't fail me, Baby E, don't fail me. :)
Sleep? Sleep is officially fleeting. I have been off and on again with my sleep cycle, some nights barely remembering waking up a million times and some nights, I'm up for a couple hours in the middle of the night. I think I'm just getting antsy.
Best moment this week? My contractions came BACK after disappearing last Friday. And I've been having them ever since!!!
Miss anything? Being able to move freely, easily and without my hips popping every time I get up.
Movement? Oh my oh my have you slowed down. It must be getting super tight in there! Now you just moooooovveeeeeeee slooooooooowly across my belly. It's fun to watch. :)
Food cravings? Nah, just food. Lots of it.
Anything make you queasy or sick? Not really, just the usual.
Labor signs? Since no one else really reads this, my mucus plug has begun falling out. At least, that's the only probable thing it could be. I'd hate to know if it's actually anything else. I've also been overly tired, a little nauseous and very irritable. Oh, irritability isn't a sign of labor? Oops...
Symptoms? My irritable uterus. Bah. And my irritable attitude. I'm not sure what one is worse...
Belly button in or out? In/out.
Linea nigra? Yes!
Wedding ring on or off? Off. Still. Because it's HOT.
Happy or moody? Oh my, have I been moody. Your daddy has been taking it in stride and I'm thankful that he has stuck by me for this long. I've been trying to keep myself in check, but just an hour ago, I was crying in the kitchen when we were talking about something that isn't worth crying over. And how do I know this? Because I can't really remember what made me start to cry...
Looking forward to: Cinco de Mayo. Because I think this is when you'll make your appearance. Don't fail me, Baby E, don't fail me. :)
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
39 Weeks + 2 days...
Ok, my little man.
This momma is getting anxious to meet you. And I'm not sure why, as you are my spawn, that you are waiting so long? I like to getitdone, quick and easy, fast and efficient. But no such luck so far.
I'm guessing this is because you are much more like your father than I suspect. There's a reason why I call him Putt-Putt you know.
And so it goes I guess, and so it goes.
We had our doctor's appointment today - 39 weeks and 2 days. I love our OB/GYN Dr. Dejong. At Methodist Plaza, they have you see several different obstetricians as they rotate who is on call at the actual hospital. But I've lucked out and asked for Dr. Dejong several times, and have gotten him. Hopefully, he's the one that delivers you!!!
Obviously, we had a cervical check today, and he said I was still at 3 cm. STILL?! I thought for sure I had progressed and we'd be popping you out in no time. But, nonetheless, in one weeks time there has apparently been NO change. So what did Dr. Dejong do to hopefully help things along?
He stuck his fingers in there and stretched them.
I wasn't expecting that.
After screeching out in pain, and him "digging around under the hood" as your daddy so hickishly proclaimed after the appointment, he said he had stretched me to, hopefully, a 4.
4 cm dilated.
So far, I have had a minimal amount of bloody show/loss of mucus plug, in due part, I'm sure, to the stretching. And cramps. Some have been stronger than others and make me a little nauseous.
And then, of course, since I'm constantly trying to figure out what's going on down there, I googled the hell out of Cervical Stretching.
I rephrased it every which way that I could and researched the hell out of it.
Here's what I found out in about 2 hours of research: Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
I'm hoping for the former here, Baby Engels.
As for names, you dad and I had a discussion about it today. You're either going to be a Max, James, Drew or Stone. Stone is your dad's idea, and if we end up naming you that, I'm really sorry. This discussion came up again today, when your daddy took me out for lunch after our appointment (he's so sweet!) and I told him about the "Baby Name Regrets" article I had read on Foxnews.com. Yeah, apparently, parents are regretting the fact they named their child "Tregger" or "Stone." I don't want to be one of those parents.
So hopefully, I'll win and we'll name you one of the first three. We're talking about the middle name, and I really want you to have my Dad's first name as your middle name: Thomas. Max Thomas, James Thomas, Drew Thomas. They all sound awesome.
Max Thomas Engels
James Thomas Engels
Drew Thomas Engels
I like them!
Stone Thomas Engels? NO. *sigh* So we'll see who "wins" - your daddy or me. And I'll also make mention that you will soon realize the answer to the question "who wins?" when you come into this world and realize that mommy's usually right.
Bah, not really.
I suppose I'm done wasting my time rambling. I've decided every couple days I'm going to write about my progress with you. So I can write right up until your birth. And then, hopefully (if you'll allow me the time) after.
Because I absolutely cannot wait to meet you!!!
This momma is getting anxious to meet you. And I'm not sure why, as you are my spawn, that you are waiting so long? I like to getitdone, quick and easy, fast and efficient. But no such luck so far.
I'm guessing this is because you are much more like your father than I suspect. There's a reason why I call him Putt-Putt you know.
And so it goes I guess, and so it goes.
We had our doctor's appointment today - 39 weeks and 2 days. I love our OB/GYN Dr. Dejong. At Methodist Plaza, they have you see several different obstetricians as they rotate who is on call at the actual hospital. But I've lucked out and asked for Dr. Dejong several times, and have gotten him. Hopefully, he's the one that delivers you!!!
Obviously, we had a cervical check today, and he said I was still at 3 cm. STILL?! I thought for sure I had progressed and we'd be popping you out in no time. But, nonetheless, in one weeks time there has apparently been NO change. So what did Dr. Dejong do to hopefully help things along?
He stuck his fingers in there and stretched them.
I wasn't expecting that.
After screeching out in pain, and him "digging around under the hood" as your daddy so hickishly proclaimed after the appointment, he said he had stretched me to, hopefully, a 4.
4 cm dilated.
So far, I have had a minimal amount of bloody show/loss of mucus plug, in due part, I'm sure, to the stretching. And cramps. Some have been stronger than others and make me a little nauseous.
And then, of course, since I'm constantly trying to figure out what's going on down there, I googled the hell out of Cervical Stretching.
I rephrased it every which way that I could and researched the hell out of it.
Here's what I found out in about 2 hours of research: Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
I'm hoping for the former here, Baby Engels.
As for names, you dad and I had a discussion about it today. You're either going to be a Max, James, Drew or Stone. Stone is your dad's idea, and if we end up naming you that, I'm really sorry. This discussion came up again today, when your daddy took me out for lunch after our appointment (he's so sweet!) and I told him about the "Baby Name Regrets" article I had read on Foxnews.com. Yeah, apparently, parents are regretting the fact they named their child "Tregger" or "Stone." I don't want to be one of those parents.
So hopefully, I'll win and we'll name you one of the first three. We're talking about the middle name, and I really want you to have my Dad's first name as your middle name: Thomas. Max Thomas, James Thomas, Drew Thomas. They all sound awesome.
Max Thomas Engels
James Thomas Engels
Drew Thomas Engels
I like them!
Stone Thomas Engels? NO. *sigh* So we'll see who "wins" - your daddy or me. And I'll also make mention that you will soon realize the answer to the question "who wins?" when you come into this world and realize that mommy's usually right.
Bah, not really.
I suppose I'm done wasting my time rambling. I've decided every couple days I'm going to write about my progress with you. So I can write right up until your birth. And then, hopefully (if you'll allow me the time) after.
Because I absolutely cannot wait to meet you!!!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Much to be thankful for...
Every time I gripe and moan about being pregnancy, I find myself thinking that it's truly not that bad. For every negative, there is a positive.
1) The weight I am carrying feels like a 50 pound sack of salt. In reality, I am only carrying 42 pounds of extra weight. And even though I have gained the unrecommended 35+ pounds, I still look good, most of my maternity clothes still fit and I'm still able to move around. Albeit a little more slowly than normal. But I'm still able to move around.
2) My cankles hurt when my legs get too swollen. Yes, they hurt. And minus the spurt where I had tingling in my hands and feet, if the only complaint I have are that my cankles hurt and my fingers are swollen, I'm doing pretty good.
3) I am starting to lose sleep. Yep, only just starting to lose sleep. The past 38 weeks have been pretty glorious for sleep, and I know women who start losing sleep as soon as they hit 20 weeks or so. The only reason I'm just now starting to lose sleep is because I have to pee all the time. So I have to get up.
4) My pubic bone and hips are killing me. But I can still walk. And when I walk a little more than usual, my hips usually loosen up and I'm able to walk more ably. Every once in awhile it gets a little much, like when I went shopping yesterday and walked around the mall. But otherwise, it's not too bad.
5) My acid reflux is out of control. However, I've been able to combat it by eating a healthier diet. Weird how that works. I know women that, no matter what, cannot get over it, despite what they eat and how they change their diet. So I'm thankful that a couple of tums usually takes care of the problem, if I eat anything super spicy!
So all in all, when I complain about the havoc Baby E is wreaking on my life, I really can't complain. Simply for the fact that this pregnancy has been completely, 100% normal. There haven't been any scares, worries, extra scans by the doctors, intense conversations or major decisions Eric and I have had to make. It's simply been smooth sailing and I'm so very grateful that it has been. I think of all the women who get the news that an organ isn't developing right, or that they will have to have a c-section, or, like my brother and sister-in-law, they will have to terminate the pregnancy at 7 months. Each time, Baby's heartbeat has been regular, movement is normal and I'm thankful every day for this beautiful gift.
Life hasn't always handed me lemons, but with the most important things, it truly has. And for that, I'm incredibly thankful.
1) The weight I am carrying feels like a 50 pound sack of salt. In reality, I am only carrying 42 pounds of extra weight. And even though I have gained the unrecommended 35+ pounds, I still look good, most of my maternity clothes still fit and I'm still able to move around. Albeit a little more slowly than normal. But I'm still able to move around.
2) My cankles hurt when my legs get too swollen. Yes, they hurt. And minus the spurt where I had tingling in my hands and feet, if the only complaint I have are that my cankles hurt and my fingers are swollen, I'm doing pretty good.
3) I am starting to lose sleep. Yep, only just starting to lose sleep. The past 38 weeks have been pretty glorious for sleep, and I know women who start losing sleep as soon as they hit 20 weeks or so. The only reason I'm just now starting to lose sleep is because I have to pee all the time. So I have to get up.
4) My pubic bone and hips are killing me. But I can still walk. And when I walk a little more than usual, my hips usually loosen up and I'm able to walk more ably. Every once in awhile it gets a little much, like when I went shopping yesterday and walked around the mall. But otherwise, it's not too bad.
5) My acid reflux is out of control. However, I've been able to combat it by eating a healthier diet. Weird how that works. I know women that, no matter what, cannot get over it, despite what they eat and how they change their diet. So I'm thankful that a couple of tums usually takes care of the problem, if I eat anything super spicy!
So all in all, when I complain about the havoc Baby E is wreaking on my life, I really can't complain. Simply for the fact that this pregnancy has been completely, 100% normal. There haven't been any scares, worries, extra scans by the doctors, intense conversations or major decisions Eric and I have had to make. It's simply been smooth sailing and I'm so very grateful that it has been. I think of all the women who get the news that an organ isn't developing right, or that they will have to have a c-section, or, like my brother and sister-in-law, they will have to terminate the pregnancy at 7 months. Each time, Baby's heartbeat has been regular, movement is normal and I'm thankful every day for this beautiful gift.
Life hasn't always handed me lemons, but with the most important things, it truly has. And for that, I'm incredibly thankful.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
38 Weeks and a Trial Run
Well, here I am at 38 weeks. Almost 39. And we're looking at about 2 more weeks, TOPS, of being pregnant!
And before I get to my survey, I have to share our "Trial Run" to the hospital last night.
All day I was having cramps. Just irritable, annoying cramps. I started timing them, but they were incredibly sporadic, so I didn't think much of them. I got home, taught a voice lesson, then went to the bathroom. Hello, bloody show!
Or was it really my bloody show?
I had been checked about 36 hours before at the dr.'s office - I was about 3 cm (!!!!) dilated and 70% effaced. Holy buckets! I spotted afterward, but when I woke up yesterday morning, it was gone. So I didn't think much of it, until last night I went to the bathroom and HELLO, there was more spotty, mucus-y, brown discharge. I didn't panic, but I was a little shocked to say the least.
So I went upstairs to lay in bed while your dad was out doing a bid. I decided to start timing the contractions at about 8:00 and yep, there they were. 5-6 minutes apart, consistently. Your dad got home and got excited when I told him. He jumped in the shower, all the while asking when we should call the hospital. I kept saying we shouldn't call the hospital just yet because the contractions weren't getting stronger or closer together. But Eric insisted and at 9:30 p.m. he called the hospital. I told him they were going to tell us to come in, only to most likely send us home again, but he didn't care!
When the nurse called back, she said to come in. The first thing Eric did was float into the room and say, "What t-shirt would a daddy wear to the hospital???!!!" and then began to go through his t-shirts. He said, "I do all my own stunts?" and he said another one, until he said, "Yes! I'm Really Excited to Be here." Yes. Your dad has a shirt that reads, "I'm really excited to be here." That's it. So that's what he wore.
By this point, your dad is running around like a maniac. After getting dressed, while I'm still laying in the same position, he leans down, kisses me and says, "I love you so much. You're my soulmate, I truly believe that." It most likely would have melted my heart, only I was laughing too hard at the maniacal state your dad was in! But looking back, it's probably one of the sweetest things your dad has ever said to me. I will remember that forever!!
So he's running around trying to get things together, and figuring out what to take etc. I walk to the car, and your dad says, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I said, "Walking to the car, what are you doing?" He rushes past me and says, "I said I was going to pick you up!!!" I just laughed while still walking to the car!!!
Once we took off, your dad realized he didn't have the camera. I laughed when he realized he didn't have the camera by saying, "I don't have the camera? That's the one thing you asked me to grab!" So we turned around to get the camera, but getting back into his truck to get the camera was a chore...
While I was waiting patiently for him to get his stuff together in the car before we left the first time, he decided it would be smart to put his truck keys in the house, lock the house, then put the house keys in the tool box on the back of his truck!
So he's running around doing that, while I'm just sitting in the car timing my contractions. They are still 5 minutes apart and sometimes feeling very achy and painful. But not so much that I can't get through them.
So we go to the hospital. At the same point in the journey that your dad realized he forgot his camera, he realized that he forgot the car seat! He asked if he should turn around and I said NO, to keep going and we could send someone to get the car seat if needed.
Needless to say, they monitored you and my "contractions" which turned out to be hardly contractions, but what they called an irritable uterus. The nurse said that I'm still dilated about 2 1/2 to 3 cm and about 60-70% effaced. She said that they could keep me, I could walk around and see if anything happened, but I just said to send us home if that's what they would most likely do anyway. I'd rather go into labor somewhere where I'm comfortable!!!
So that's our "trial run" story. Pretty hilarious when I look back at it, but possibly the sweetest thing I've ever seen. Your dad was so incredibly excited, it was hilarious to watch. He's going to be such a great daddy to you, and you are going to absolutely love him. LOVE him. He's going to be so caring and so excited about every milestone and birthday and mud-pie you make. I can't wait to watch him watch you.
In all this, the best part? Hearing your little heartbeat on the monitor last night. That made it more real than ever and it's amazing to know you'll be in our arms in no more than 2 weeks!
And of course, the part where your daddy told me I looked so pretty and looked at me like I was the most gorgeous thing he'd ever laid eyes on. Sometimes he makes me feel incredibly special. I'm a very lucky woman!
How far along? 38 weeks
Maternity clothes? I air-dried my maternity jeans. They fit. Barely. Otherwise, it's been the typical skirts, dresses and t-shirts!!
And before I get to my survey, I have to share our "Trial Run" to the hospital last night.
All day I was having cramps. Just irritable, annoying cramps. I started timing them, but they were incredibly sporadic, so I didn't think much of them. I got home, taught a voice lesson, then went to the bathroom. Hello, bloody show!
Or was it really my bloody show?
I had been checked about 36 hours before at the dr.'s office - I was about 3 cm (!!!!) dilated and 70% effaced. Holy buckets! I spotted afterward, but when I woke up yesterday morning, it was gone. So I didn't think much of it, until last night I went to the bathroom and HELLO, there was more spotty, mucus-y, brown discharge. I didn't panic, but I was a little shocked to say the least.
So I went upstairs to lay in bed while your dad was out doing a bid. I decided to start timing the contractions at about 8:00 and yep, there they were. 5-6 minutes apart, consistently. Your dad got home and got excited when I told him. He jumped in the shower, all the while asking when we should call the hospital. I kept saying we shouldn't call the hospital just yet because the contractions weren't getting stronger or closer together. But Eric insisted and at 9:30 p.m. he called the hospital. I told him they were going to tell us to come in, only to most likely send us home again, but he didn't care!
When the nurse called back, she said to come in. The first thing Eric did was float into the room and say, "What t-shirt would a daddy wear to the hospital???!!!" and then began to go through his t-shirts. He said, "I do all my own stunts?" and he said another one, until he said, "Yes! I'm Really Excited to Be here." Yes. Your dad has a shirt that reads, "I'm really excited to be here." That's it. So that's what he wore.
By this point, your dad is running around like a maniac. After getting dressed, while I'm still laying in the same position, he leans down, kisses me and says, "I love you so much. You're my soulmate, I truly believe that." It most likely would have melted my heart, only I was laughing too hard at the maniacal state your dad was in! But looking back, it's probably one of the sweetest things your dad has ever said to me. I will remember that forever!!
So he's running around trying to get things together, and figuring out what to take etc. I walk to the car, and your dad says, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I said, "Walking to the car, what are you doing?" He rushes past me and says, "I said I was going to pick you up!!!" I just laughed while still walking to the car!!!
Once we took off, your dad realized he didn't have the camera. I laughed when he realized he didn't have the camera by saying, "I don't have the camera? That's the one thing you asked me to grab!" So we turned around to get the camera, but getting back into his truck to get the camera was a chore...
While I was waiting patiently for him to get his stuff together in the car before we left the first time, he decided it would be smart to put his truck keys in the house, lock the house, then put the house keys in the tool box on the back of his truck!
So he's running around doing that, while I'm just sitting in the car timing my contractions. They are still 5 minutes apart and sometimes feeling very achy and painful. But not so much that I can't get through them.
So we go to the hospital. At the same point in the journey that your dad realized he forgot his camera, he realized that he forgot the car seat! He asked if he should turn around and I said NO, to keep going and we could send someone to get the car seat if needed.
Needless to say, they monitored you and my "contractions" which turned out to be hardly contractions, but what they called an irritable uterus. The nurse said that I'm still dilated about 2 1/2 to 3 cm and about 60-70% effaced. She said that they could keep me, I could walk around and see if anything happened, but I just said to send us home if that's what they would most likely do anyway. I'd rather go into labor somewhere where I'm comfortable!!!
So that's our "trial run" story. Pretty hilarious when I look back at it, but possibly the sweetest thing I've ever seen. Your dad was so incredibly excited, it was hilarious to watch. He's going to be such a great daddy to you, and you are going to absolutely love him. LOVE him. He's going to be so caring and so excited about every milestone and birthday and mud-pie you make. I can't wait to watch him watch you.
In all this, the best part? Hearing your little heartbeat on the monitor last night. That made it more real than ever and it's amazing to know you'll be in our arms in no more than 2 weeks!
And of course, the part where your daddy told me I looked so pretty and looked at me like I was the most gorgeous thing he'd ever laid eyes on. Sometimes he makes me feel incredibly special. I'm a very lucky woman!
How far along? 38 weeks
Maternity clothes? I air-dried my maternity jeans. They fit. Barely. Otherwise, it's been the typical skirts, dresses and t-shirts!!
Stretch marks? No and I can't believe it. Although I did notice that the stretch marks I have from my youth have turned a slivery color. Strange!
Sleep? Since it's been warmer, and since I've been warmer, I've been able to sleep without covers and the windows on. So I ball my comforter (yes, your dad and I have separate comforters and will probably always be that way) into a body pillow and that let's me have some reprieve!
Best moment this week? The dr.'s appt. on Tuesday when he told me I was 3 cm dilated and about 70% effaced!!! I was shocked!!
Miss anything? Just being able to move swiftly!
Movement? You moved a lot last night when they hooked the monitor to you. Probably because it was so cold!!! But it was so cool to see you react!
Food cravings? Just food. Lots of fruit, I'd say. I've been loving the cantelouope and kiwi!
Anything make you queasy or sick? Nah. Just the thought/smell of chicken!
Labor signs? I guess. Last night I thought I had my bloody show, but it might have just been from my cervical check on Tuesday!
Symptoms? Just the braxton-hicks/irritable uterus!
Belly button in or out? In/out.
Linea nigra? Yes!
Wedding ring on or off? Off. Off off off. And that sucks. Every morning I try it, but every morning it's to no avail. It will have to stay off!
Happy or moody? Not necessarily moody, but just really tired and lethargic and TIRED.
Looking forward to: This weekend! We are celebrating Auntie Courtney's 12 week appointment - that is, if it's good news, and here's to hoping!!!! Otherwise, we will be moping at Auntie Courtney's house. I'm also getting a pedicure this weekend, so I'll have pretty feet for delivery! Wahoo! I love it when my toes are painted!
Sleep? Since it's been warmer, and since I've been warmer, I've been able to sleep without covers and the windows on. So I ball my comforter (yes, your dad and I have separate comforters and will probably always be that way) into a body pillow and that let's me have some reprieve!
Best moment this week? The dr.'s appt. on Tuesday when he told me I was 3 cm dilated and about 70% effaced!!! I was shocked!!
Miss anything? Just being able to move swiftly!
Movement? You moved a lot last night when they hooked the monitor to you. Probably because it was so cold!!! But it was so cool to see you react!
Food cravings? Just food. Lots of fruit, I'd say. I've been loving the cantelouope and kiwi!
Anything make you queasy or sick? Nah. Just the thought/smell of chicken!
Labor signs? I guess. Last night I thought I had my bloody show, but it might have just been from my cervical check on Tuesday!
Symptoms? Just the braxton-hicks/irritable uterus!
Belly button in or out? In/out.
Linea nigra? Yes!
Wedding ring on or off? Off. Off off off. And that sucks. Every morning I try it, but every morning it's to no avail. It will have to stay off!
Happy or moody? Not necessarily moody, but just really tired and lethargic and TIRED.
Looking forward to: This weekend! We are celebrating Auntie Courtney's 12 week appointment - that is, if it's good news, and here's to hoping!!!! Otherwise, we will be moping at Auntie Courtney's house. I'm also getting a pedicure this weekend, so I'll have pretty feet for delivery! Wahoo! I love it when my toes are painted!
All in all, I'm just mostly excited to meet you! I can't wait!!!!!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
"How are you feeling?" 37 weeks...
The question I get most days is: "How are you feeling?"
How am I feeling? How am I feeling?!
Here's how I want to answer most days:
1) I'm tired. Really. fucking. tired. It's not necessarily that I'm losing sleep, it's just that I'm toting around almost 40 extra pounds. Yes, that's right. FORTY. Do you know how much that is? That's like carrying around a 50 lb. bag of salt for the water softener. That's like hefting a five gallon bucket, full of water, on your shoulders. I currently have 4 ten-pound bowling balls strapped to my abdomen. How the fuck would you feel?
2) I'm hot. It doesn't matter if it's 56 degrees out. I'm. fucking. hot. And because I'm hot, I'm swollen. Which is awesome, because when my hands swell, I can't grip things like I normally can and when my ankles swell, it causes this ache in my ankle which feels like I just sprained it. Which causes me to not only waddle, but also hobble/waddle. I look pathetic.
3) "I'm good." "Really?" NO! but I'm not about to say that last part because I don't want everyone to think I'm a huge weenie. Which I am. But I am moody...and temperamental...and impatiently waiting to meet you.
4) Nervous. I'm about to push something the size of a "stalk of swiss chard" (wtf?) through my kiwi-sized hole (since we're on the whole "fruit sized" kick). Seriously? You can't tell me that people look forward to to that.
5) Sad. My life is about to change - drastically. Gone are the nights of lounging on the couch. Gone are my shopping trips where I'm freely blowing money on stupid shit. I actually have to start watching our money now, because there are things like 529 Accounts for college, and dental coverage we need for a toddler and let's not forget $3.49 gas. Yep, there was that mood swing. Refer to #3.
But instead of all this, I always say, "I'm excited."
Because above all else, regardless of the heavy feeling, the swelling, the nervousness, I am truly excited for you. So excited that I can get past hauling around four bowling balls. I can get past the labor and delivery. I just can't wait to have you in my arms, broke as a joke and the happiest person on the face of the planet. Only a few short weeks!
SO with that...
Maternity clothes? Thanks to the humidity, my whole body is swollen. Which means my jeans are fitting even more tightly than they were before. It's been interesting...
Stretch marks? No! Woop woop!
Sleep? Sleep comes and goes...last night wasn't so bad, although I was waking up from contractions and having to pee about every half hour. But I don't really remember it. Rolling over is always a feat and I know I grunt a lot, but when it's dark and I'm tired, I easily block it out!
Best moment this week? Last night, I began having contractions. And they haven't stopped. They haven't gotten better or worse, or longer or shorter, but they haven't stopped. That's the point!
Miss anything? Being able to move frequently. And I walked by the wine aisle yesterday in Sam's Club...I miss wine. I can't wait to have some of that after you get here!
Movement? You've begun this "rolling" method with your little knees and feet. Sometimes, when I'm laying on my right side, it feels SO GOOD! Crazy to say, but it feels like you're giving me a massage from the inside out. It's weird, but feels awesome.
Food cravings? Nope! Just food!
Anything make you queasy or sick? Not really. Just the thought/smell/taste of chicken. Although chicken sandwiches etc. from a restaurant are not bad...
Labor signs? Yes, those contractions from last night and so far through today.
Symptoms? Is being huge a symptom?
Belly button in or out? In/out.
Linea nigra? Yep - and it's getting darker. What's even more funny is that it's crooked. Really, God? You had to make this crooked?
Wedding ring on or off? Are you serious? It's off and will probably remain that way until after you get here.
Happy or moody? Moody/Happy/Moody. I've been happy most of the time, but moody about 30% of the time. I'm just ready to be done with pregnancy.
Looking forward to: Some time with your daddy when you get here. He's been working so much, but promises to take at least a week off to help when you get here. So I'm looking forward to figuring out how to be a family when that happens. Can't wait!
Sleep? Sleep comes and goes...last night wasn't so bad, although I was waking up from contractions and having to pee about every half hour. But I don't really remember it. Rolling over is always a feat and I know I grunt a lot, but when it's dark and I'm tired, I easily block it out!
Best moment this week? Last night, I began having contractions. And they haven't stopped. They haven't gotten better or worse, or longer or shorter, but they haven't stopped. That's the point!
Miss anything? Being able to move frequently. And I walked by the wine aisle yesterday in Sam's Club...I miss wine. I can't wait to have some of that after you get here!
Movement? You've begun this "rolling" method with your little knees and feet. Sometimes, when I'm laying on my right side, it feels SO GOOD! Crazy to say, but it feels like you're giving me a massage from the inside out. It's weird, but feels awesome.
Food cravings? Nope! Just food!
Anything make you queasy or sick? Not really. Just the thought/smell/taste of chicken. Although chicken sandwiches etc. from a restaurant are not bad...
Labor signs? Yes, those contractions from last night and so far through today.
Symptoms? Is being huge a symptom?
Belly button in or out? In/out.
Linea nigra? Yep - and it's getting darker. What's even more funny is that it's crooked. Really, God? You had to make this crooked?
Wedding ring on or off? Are you serious? It's off and will probably remain that way until after you get here.
Happy or moody? Moody/Happy/Moody. I've been happy most of the time, but moody about 30% of the time. I'm just ready to be done with pregnancy.
Looking forward to: Some time with your daddy when you get here. He's been working so much, but promises to take at least a week off to help when you get here. So I'm looking forward to figuring out how to be a family when that happens. Can't wait!
Only 2 1/2 more weeks!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
The Longest FOUR WEEKS of my life...36 Weeks Pregnant!
How far along? 36 weeks
Maternity clothes? Oh my. I have maternity shirts that don't fit. So I've been milking my dresses and leggings as much as possible. Even my favorite jeans don't really fit as well as they used to b/c my hips are so wide and my belly is so big!!!
Stretch marks? No! Woop woop!
Sleep? Sleep... what can I say about sleep... I fall asleep quickly, but I wake up frequently. Kinnick must know that big changes are around the corner because he has been either sleeping on my pillow directly next to my head, or he's been sleeping just beneath my pillow on the edge of the bed. There's no halfway with him - he's been all over me at night and it gets hard because although I love him, I also want my damn space!
Best moment this week? The doctor appointment yesterday! I am 50% effaced and dilated about 1 cm. You are also "engaged" in my pelvis, which explains the incredibly intense pain I have been feeling in my pubic bone area and thigh area. Which I'll talk more about below. But I digress: I'm excited at the fact that at least something is happening down there, which means you'll be here soon!
Miss anything? I love being pregnant. I do not like being this pregnant. I miss being the cute pregnant, where all my clothes fit, I was in a good mood all the time and I felt beautiful. Now I feel fat because hardly any of my clothes fit and I'm horribly moody. So I miss that. A lot.
Movement? Lots. And now that I know which way you are facing (head down, back to my front) I know what part of you I'm touching, or what part I'm talking to. Or better yet, what part your daddy has been talking to. Which has been your feet. That's hilarious.
Food cravings? Meh. Just food in general.
Anything make you queasy or sick? Not really sick, but my acid reflux is ridiculous so sometimes, I feel like throwing up. Otherwise, I had a chicken sandwich the other day. But it was my favorite chicken sandwich from Famous Dave's. So it wasn't like the chicken breast I would buy at the grocery store. Which is disgusting to me right now!
Labor signs? Kind of weird and gross, but I've been going to the bathroom a ton. I was confused because it is NOT normal, but the internet says that you do so to clean out your system before labor. So I guess labor is right around the corner!
Symptoms? Nope, just contractions and massive mood swings. The other night I was overly-happy about something and your dad said, "Good to know I caught you on the up-swing." He's hilarious - I can't wait for you to share that humor with him.
Belly button in or out? In/out.
Linea nigra? Yes and I think it's gotten better!
Wedding ring on or off? It's off. Still. Every morning I try to put it on, and every morning it's just a little too tight. So I keep it off so it's not uncomfortable, then I take it off somewhere and then it's lost forever. Which would make your daddy angry!!!!
Happy or moody? Lately I've been extremely happy. Things are happening around the house and I feel like we're prepared. Well, not prepared...but as prepared as we're going to be. We just need to buy some last minute things and we'll be awesome! I can't wait!
Looking forward to: Meeting you. Period.
In other news, I've continued to nest. Nest nest nest, that should be your name. Or something to do with nesting, like Twig. Oh God, wouldn't that be horrible. Today I went to Burlington Coat Factory and bought a few things - one of which was a three-pack of Carter's onesies. SO CUTE! One is white and says "Handsome." That's it. And it's adorable. And yes, it's going into your hospital bag.
That's another thing, I'm slowly gathering things for my overnight bag. Although I'm sure I won't be able to do it all until the last minute - but I have a few things. Candy, robe, socks etc. The rest I'll throw in when it's "time to go." Which I wish I had a video camera for, because I know it's going to be HILARIOUS as I will most likely be the calm one (because I'm spastic otherwise) and your daddy will be running around for me, thinking about how his life will never be the same. I've seen him excited, trust me.
I'm so excited to meet you, but I'm terrified for labor. But my boss put it in perspective the other day by looking around the restaurant and saying, "Probably 50% of the people in this room have gone through labor...and they're still here. They don't look jaded..." So she's right. I guess you'll come out either way. I'm super excited!!!!!!!!!
Maternity clothes? Oh my. I have maternity shirts that don't fit. So I've been milking my dresses and leggings as much as possible. Even my favorite jeans don't really fit as well as they used to b/c my hips are so wide and my belly is so big!!!
Stretch marks? No! Woop woop!
Sleep? Sleep... what can I say about sleep... I fall asleep quickly, but I wake up frequently. Kinnick must know that big changes are around the corner because he has been either sleeping on my pillow directly next to my head, or he's been sleeping just beneath my pillow on the edge of the bed. There's no halfway with him - he's been all over me at night and it gets hard because although I love him, I also want my damn space!
Best moment this week? The doctor appointment yesterday! I am 50% effaced and dilated about 1 cm. You are also "engaged" in my pelvis, which explains the incredibly intense pain I have been feeling in my pubic bone area and thigh area. Which I'll talk more about below. But I digress: I'm excited at the fact that at least something is happening down there, which means you'll be here soon!
Miss anything? I love being pregnant. I do not like being this pregnant. I miss being the cute pregnant, where all my clothes fit, I was in a good mood all the time and I felt beautiful. Now I feel fat because hardly any of my clothes fit and I'm horribly moody. So I miss that. A lot.
Movement? Lots. And now that I know which way you are facing (head down, back to my front) I know what part of you I'm touching, or what part I'm talking to. Or better yet, what part your daddy has been talking to. Which has been your feet. That's hilarious.
Food cravings? Meh. Just food in general.
Anything make you queasy or sick? Not really sick, but my acid reflux is ridiculous so sometimes, I feel like throwing up. Otherwise, I had a chicken sandwich the other day. But it was my favorite chicken sandwich from Famous Dave's. So it wasn't like the chicken breast I would buy at the grocery store. Which is disgusting to me right now!
Labor signs? Kind of weird and gross, but I've been going to the bathroom a ton. I was confused because it is NOT normal, but the internet says that you do so to clean out your system before labor. So I guess labor is right around the corner!
Symptoms? Nope, just contractions and massive mood swings. The other night I was overly-happy about something and your dad said, "Good to know I caught you on the up-swing." He's hilarious - I can't wait for you to share that humor with him.
Belly button in or out? In/out.
Linea nigra? Yes and I think it's gotten better!
Wedding ring on or off? It's off. Still. Every morning I try to put it on, and every morning it's just a little too tight. So I keep it off so it's not uncomfortable, then I take it off somewhere and then it's lost forever. Which would make your daddy angry!!!!
Happy or moody? Lately I've been extremely happy. Things are happening around the house and I feel like we're prepared. Well, not prepared...but as prepared as we're going to be. We just need to buy some last minute things and we'll be awesome! I can't wait!
Looking forward to: Meeting you. Period.
In other news, I've continued to nest. Nest nest nest, that should be your name. Or something to do with nesting, like Twig. Oh God, wouldn't that be horrible. Today I went to Burlington Coat Factory and bought a few things - one of which was a three-pack of Carter's onesies. SO CUTE! One is white and says "Handsome." That's it. And it's adorable. And yes, it's going into your hospital bag.
That's another thing, I'm slowly gathering things for my overnight bag. Although I'm sure I won't be able to do it all until the last minute - but I have a few things. Candy, robe, socks etc. The rest I'll throw in when it's "time to go." Which I wish I had a video camera for, because I know it's going to be HILARIOUS as I will most likely be the calm one (because I'm spastic otherwise) and your daddy will be running around for me, thinking about how his life will never be the same. I've seen him excited, trust me.
I'm so excited to meet you, but I'm terrified for labor. But my boss put it in perspective the other day by looking around the restaurant and saying, "Probably 50% of the people in this room have gone through labor...and they're still here. They don't look jaded..." So she's right. I guess you'll come out either way. I'm super excited!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, April 5, 2012
FIVE weeks left...
How far along? 35 weeks
Maternity clothes? I have been wearing the hell out of my jean skirt, black maxi skirt and tanks/t-shirts. Although my t-shirts are starting to be a tad bit tight.
Stretch marks? No and I'm super excited about it!! As is your dad!
Sleep? Sleep is starting to get harder. Not necessarily is it the sleep that's elusive, but it's waking up at night, rocking myself off the bed, gaining my strength and bearing my weight to walk to the bathroom (more like waddle/stumble) and then get back into bed and try to get comfortable. Or really, just trying to move from one side to another with so much weight at the front of my body!!!
Best moment this week? The fact that you dad has finished/done so much around the house (although the other night, he would have been surprised to hear me say that)! He has finished the siding on the house (hallelujah) and put the lights up where the deck will go. I'm excited to have those little things done. He also washed the sashes of the windows in the living room - with q-tips nonetheless, so I'm hoping they stay clean for a long time! He's been really helpful and rubbing my back and legs when I need it. I'm very grateful to have him home so I'm not always overwhelmed by things. Although it's not necessarily the best THING this week, it's the best week of this pregnancy because your daddy is HOME!
Miss anything? Being able to bend over all the way, and get up easily.
Movement? Last night, you scared us a little bit!!! I was worried that you weren't moving, so I ate some chocolate. And you still didn't move. So your daddy and I tried to poke and prod you, move my belly, and talk to you, but you still didn't move. Finally, after about an hour and 45 minutes, you moved! A lot! I was relieved and your daddy was especially relieved. Since that moment almost 24 hours ago, you've been on the move non-stop. You must have just been sleeping and I bet you sleep just like your daddy! HARD!
Food cravings? Nope! I'm happy with whatever! Although usually I think about fruit and I start to crave it! It's so good!
Anything make you queasy or sick? Greasy food this week made me queasy. But otherwise, I'm pretty good. Occasionally I'll have a wave of nausea, but otherwise, we're all good!
Labor signs? Definitely more cramping/Braxton Hicks Contractions. On Sunday, I timed them for almost 5 hours and they were about 25 minutes apart. Then they stopped for about 2 hours, then showed up again approximately 30 minutes apart. So it can only mean good things that I've been having consistency I guess!
Symptoms? Braxton-Hicks and some nausea!
Belly button in or out? In/out.
Linea nigra? Yes and I think it's gotten better!
Wedding ring on or off? It has stayed off. I could probably squeeze it on, but honestly, it will feel better and be better overall if I don't. I would hate to get it stuck on my finger!!!
Happy or moody? Moody - simply because your daddy is home. It's been so happy and I'm so thankful to have him home, but after living "apart" for so long, it takes it's toll and I've learned a routine without him. So letting him in while not letting him disturb too much of my "universe" has been hard. But for the most part, I'm elated he's home and I feel like sometimes I follow him around like a puppy dog! I can't help it! I love him! :)
Looking forward to: This weekend is a three-day weekend. Your daddy and I will hopefully get a few more small things done on the house, and honestly, I'm just looking forward to my 36 week appointment next Wednesday! I hope I get to see another ultrasound of you! :) Also, this might seem really stupid, but I'm really looking forward to making birthday cakes for you. Football, baseball, race car cakes, whatever you want. But I'm looking forward to living my life around you. I'm so excited to meet you and hope this last month flies by (which I know it won't)!
Movement? Last night, you scared us a little bit!!! I was worried that you weren't moving, so I ate some chocolate. And you still didn't move. So your daddy and I tried to poke and prod you, move my belly, and talk to you, but you still didn't move. Finally, after about an hour and 45 minutes, you moved! A lot! I was relieved and your daddy was especially relieved. Since that moment almost 24 hours ago, you've been on the move non-stop. You must have just been sleeping and I bet you sleep just like your daddy! HARD!
Food cravings? Nope! I'm happy with whatever! Although usually I think about fruit and I start to crave it! It's so good!
Anything make you queasy or sick? Greasy food this week made me queasy. But otherwise, I'm pretty good. Occasionally I'll have a wave of nausea, but otherwise, we're all good!
Labor signs? Definitely more cramping/Braxton Hicks Contractions. On Sunday, I timed them for almost 5 hours and they were about 25 minutes apart. Then they stopped for about 2 hours, then showed up again approximately 30 minutes apart. So it can only mean good things that I've been having consistency I guess!
Symptoms? Braxton-Hicks and some nausea!
Belly button in or out? In/out.
Linea nigra? Yes and I think it's gotten better!
Wedding ring on or off? It has stayed off. I could probably squeeze it on, but honestly, it will feel better and be better overall if I don't. I would hate to get it stuck on my finger!!!
Happy or moody? Moody - simply because your daddy is home. It's been so happy and I'm so thankful to have him home, but after living "apart" for so long, it takes it's toll and I've learned a routine without him. So letting him in while not letting him disturb too much of my "universe" has been hard. But for the most part, I'm elated he's home and I feel like sometimes I follow him around like a puppy dog! I can't help it! I love him! :)
Looking forward to: This weekend is a three-day weekend. Your daddy and I will hopefully get a few more small things done on the house, and honestly, I'm just looking forward to my 36 week appointment next Wednesday! I hope I get to see another ultrasound of you! :) Also, this might seem really stupid, but I'm really looking forward to making birthday cakes for you. Football, baseball, race car cakes, whatever you want. But I'm looking forward to living my life around you. I'm so excited to meet you and hope this last month flies by (which I know it won't)!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Could it be? 6 WEEKS!
How far along? 34 weeks
Maternity clothes? I have been squeezing myself into more and more of my "regular" clothes because it's been so warm out. Which has been interesting. But the staples are still there - tank top with a light open cardigan, BB jeans, maternity jean skirt, a few dresses, lots and lots of sandals!
Stretch marks? NO! I can't believe it. We're still going strong!
Sleep? Sleep has been fleeting this week, unfortunately. I am carrying a lot of weight, so everything has been much more difficult, including sleep!
Best moment this week? Hasn't quite happened yet. Your daddy comes home from his North Iowa job today. Hopefully with a trailer in tow, but nonetheless, he will be HOME. I am so glad to have him here! Mainly because I've been showing "signs of labor" (sort of...see below) and it's kind of scary. Plus, it's something you don't want to go through alone, especially when I depend on your dad to be my rock. So I'll be so glad when I come home to him this afternoon!!!!! I can't wait, I've been up since 5 a.m. in anticipation!
Maternity clothes? I have been squeezing myself into more and more of my "regular" clothes because it's been so warm out. Which has been interesting. But the staples are still there - tank top with a light open cardigan, BB jeans, maternity jean skirt, a few dresses, lots and lots of sandals!
Stretch marks? NO! I can't believe it. We're still going strong!
Sleep? Sleep has been fleeting this week, unfortunately. I am carrying a lot of weight, so everything has been much more difficult, including sleep!
Best moment this week? Hasn't quite happened yet. Your daddy comes home from his North Iowa job today. Hopefully with a trailer in tow, but nonetheless, he will be HOME. I am so glad to have him here! Mainly because I've been showing "signs of labor" (sort of...see below) and it's kind of scary. Plus, it's something you don't want to go through alone, especially when I depend on your dad to be my rock. So I'll be so glad when I come home to him this afternoon!!!!! I can't wait, I've been up since 5 a.m. in anticipation!
Another good moment is the fact I only gained 1 pound. So all that fruit and healthy eating has been doing good. That means I'm up 34 pounds from my ideal weight, which is exciting. If I can keep it like that, I think we'll be good!!!
Miss anything? I miss my dad this week. I keep thinking about him walking through the door into the hospital room after you get here. And knowing that can't happen is hard.
Movement? I love sitting here watching you move. It's a great joy. Your movements are so much more calculated and less sporadic now. I can tell you're starting to develop more control and I can't wait until you're here so I can see those movements on the outside. :)
Food cravings? Not really... I just love the stuff that's not good for you!
Anything make you queasy or sick? Chicken. Deli meat. They just released news about "Pink Slime" and now that's making me second guess any beef...looks like Pork is what's for dinner!
Labor signs? This morning I've been having some pretty strong Braxton Hicks contractions. They weren't intense by any means, but they made me go, "Oh...OH!" This is definitely the main reason why I am so excited to have your daddy home!!
Symptoms? Just the ole Braxton-Hicks. And emotions!
Belly button in or out? In/out.
Linea nigra? yes!
Wedding ring on or off? It has been staying off. The dr. yesterday said it was better that way, I don't want it to get stuck. There have been a few times that I was afraid it was stuck! So I have been leaving it off, although I don't really like it.
Happy or moody? Moody simply because your dad isn't home and I'm sick of him not being home. But the past 24 hours, I've been elated. Beyond myself excited. I just hope that it sticks around! I guess I've also been annoyed, simply because I'm ready for this to be done. Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy it, but I'm the type to enjoy and then be done enjoying. I'm ready for you to be here!
Looking forward to: This weekend. Your dad and I have a lot and NOTHING planned. I'm really excited to lounge with him all day on Sunday. Of course, what will happen is that he will lounge and I will nest. Because I can't help it and it will make your arrival seem that much closer now that he's home. I can't wait!!!!!
Miss anything? I miss my dad this week. I keep thinking about him walking through the door into the hospital room after you get here. And knowing that can't happen is hard.
Movement? I love sitting here watching you move. It's a great joy. Your movements are so much more calculated and less sporadic now. I can tell you're starting to develop more control and I can't wait until you're here so I can see those movements on the outside. :)
Food cravings? Not really... I just love the stuff that's not good for you!
Anything make you queasy or sick? Chicken. Deli meat. They just released news about "Pink Slime" and now that's making me second guess any beef...looks like Pork is what's for dinner!
Labor signs? This morning I've been having some pretty strong Braxton Hicks contractions. They weren't intense by any means, but they made me go, "Oh...OH!" This is definitely the main reason why I am so excited to have your daddy home!!
Symptoms? Just the ole Braxton-Hicks. And emotions!
Belly button in or out? In/out.
Linea nigra? yes!
Wedding ring on or off? It has been staying off. The dr. yesterday said it was better that way, I don't want it to get stuck. There have been a few times that I was afraid it was stuck! So I have been leaving it off, although I don't really like it.
Happy or moody? Moody simply because your dad isn't home and I'm sick of him not being home. But the past 24 hours, I've been elated. Beyond myself excited. I just hope that it sticks around! I guess I've also been annoyed, simply because I'm ready for this to be done. Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy it, but I'm the type to enjoy and then be done enjoying. I'm ready for you to be here!
Looking forward to: This weekend. Your dad and I have a lot and NOTHING planned. I'm really excited to lounge with him all day on Sunday. Of course, what will happen is that he will lounge and I will nest. Because I can't help it and it will make your arrival seem that much closer now that he's home. I can't wait!!!!!
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