9 Months!

So many things seem to be happening all at once!

We have learned that baths are for the birds. Showers are what you prefer. Your daddy showers before he goes to bed and viola, in you go. Saturday mornings I wake up, and into the shower we go. You love every second of it. You play with the water going down the drain, you slither around on your belly, and you stay that way well after I have shut the shower off and gotten out. I usually am able to brush my teeth, put on my moisturizer and get dressed by the time you start to complain about the temperature. Then I whisk you to the bed to moisturize you and dress you. You seem to love it!

Changing tables are overrated. We used a regular, short bookshelf as your changing table for awhile. Then you started rolling over. Now, we just change you regularly (unless you poop...) after you wake up in the morning and after naps. We don't really have huge problems with diaper rash, so it seems to be working fine. Sometimes, if you've had a lot of juice, we have to change you before the nap too, but otherwise, I don't know why I ever made a big deal about wanting a changing table.

You've graduated to size 4's. FOURS. That's huge, in my eyes. I'll be anxious to see what your stats are at your 9 month check-up, that I will, once again, have to miss. They seem a little bulky for you, but at least they hold all of your pee.

You've figured out how to unscrew your bottles. That's made for some really interesting surprises for mommy.

You love pears, applesauce, strawberry yogurt, and your puffs. And really, anything that we are eating. Tonight you had bowtie pasta (made out of veggies), with Ragu sauce and parmesan cheese. You didn't seem to mind it. Some people freak out about giving children too many "grown-up" foods before they're one. I figure, if there's no allergic reaction and you're ok with it, it doesn't matter. Although after our cereal incident, where I fed you some Berry Berry Colossal Crunch that has twenty-eight grams of sugar per 1/2 cup, I check the nutritional information of what we're eating. Needless to say, after that incident, you didn't sleep all day. Mommy fail!

You're pulling yourself up on everything. Even if it's not stable. We've run into a few mishaps because of that, especially with your stand-n-play table thing, but otherwise, it's been fun to watch you work so hard. You're getting better at it, and before long, you'll probably be cruising all over the place. I can't wait to see that.

We've invested in baby gates. Finally, we had had it with digging in the cat food (and eating some of it too, let's not lie). They are a pain in our ass. Our friends have the ones with the swinging door gate that you walk through. We're cheap, so we got the typical baby gates that you have to step (trip) over. We won't be having them for long, so it will be fine.

We never really had to baby proof. We have let you get into everything, except the cupboard under the sink. You love exploring and I figure we might as well let you. I read somewhere that if you try to keep your baby from exploring something they want, they want to explore it that much more. Then it becomes a battle of wills. That will not be happening in this house because rule #1: Mommy always wins. So, under supervision, I've let you get into the cat bowl (and then I turned my back to stir the pasta or something stupid and into your mouth it went), I've let you "make copies" on the touch screen printer and laughed when you laughed as it shot paper out after making said copy. I've let you splash around in the cat's water bowl. I let you try and figure things out yourself. If it's dangerous, I take it away and give you something else. Like the cord you tried to chew on yesterday, but otherwise, you're all good.

I love watching you learn. I love walking into your room in the morning because you giggle and laugh and bury your head in your covers and then check to make sure I'm still there. It's like I'm that thing you always dream of and you can't believe I'm there for you. Let me tell you, I can't believe you're here for me.

You love your bouncy swing that hangs from the doorway between the dining room and living room. You have learned how to squeal. You wrinkle your nose when you think something is really funny. I clap my hands together, you clap them together too.

Sometimes, I think you're the cutest thing I have ever laid eyes on. And then I change your diaper. That's usually the nastiest thing I've ever laid eyes on.

But all in all, it's pretty awesome to have you as my little man. What ever did I do to be this blessed?

Dear Dad

I am dreading tomorrow. Dreading it. I dread it every year. I get so anxious looking at the approaching date, and sometimes send myself into a tailspin. You probably laugh at me every year, because that's how you were.

At Christmas this year, one of your sisters told me that your eulogy at your funeral that I wrote was so accurate in describing the person you were.

You were an amazing dad. Sometimes, you were tough. Sometimes, I didn't like you all that much. But I always loved you. Now that I'm older, I so much appreciate everything you taught me. You were always so proud of me.

I'm an amazing wife because you taught me to be a good person. I look at the way I teach, and I can't help but think you were probably the exact same. I feel like I was and am so much like you, but I can't be as good as you were. I'm taking the time to love my son, because your death taught me that time is important.

I miss you when I wake up, when I go to bed, when I'm stressed, overtired, happy. I miss you when I talk to mom, when I see my brothers, when I'm watching Fox News - haha! I miss you when I step in front of my students every day. I miss you when I talk about you with others, I miss you when I come home from a long day at work and I just want to talk to you about it.

I miss you every second of every day of my life. I just miss you.

I miss you.

Dear 16-Year-Old Laura

My cousin posted this on her blog, and even though mine isn't public like hers, it has really made me think. So here's my letter to my 16 year old self...

Dear 16-year-old Laura,

Some trees can grow their roots more than 16 feet deep. Your roots are much deeper than that. Always remember what made you who you are, even the negative. Those negative moments will allow you to grow much more than the positive.

Roots branch off into many different directions. So will your life. But they are connected to a tree that will stay rooted. The tree will change. It will become scarred. Some years it will bloom and other years, it won't. But always remember, the tree will always be there because of those roots. Come back to it once in awhile.

Some trees grow more than 100 feet tall. They sprout branches that thicken with time. So will your skin. You will weather storms that you may not feel you will survive. But eventually, the sun will come out to heal the wounds. Remember that there's always tomorrow. And it can't possibly be any worse than today.

Some trees have a lot of branches. Some trees, only a few. Whatever the number of friends you have in your life, the ones that are closest to the trunk are the strongest. Those bonds are hard to break, even after several years of silence. Keep those bonds with those people, whoever they may be. They are the ones that helped shape you, helped you to grow, and eventually, will protect you when you need it the most.

Keep yourself rooted in what is important. Because your roots are where it all began. That's what's most important.

Much love,
30-year-old Laura