Lookin' Fly in the Three-Piece Suit

Last weekend, James made his first trip to Wisconsin.

Whoever said traveling with a newborn is easy was about 75% right.

He slept most of the time. He rarely cried and if he did, it was because he was too cold/hot, wanted a bottle, or fussed right before he fell asleep. For the most part, it was a fairly easy thing to do.

But 25% of it is all LIES.

Stopping to change a diaper isn't just changing a diaper. It's the planning that goes into when you are going to change that diaper. It's the planning on what you can do on that stop beyond changing the diaper. Do we have to go to the bathroom ourselves? Eat? Get something to drink? Fill up with gas?

Mapquest said it would take us 7 hours and 39 minutes to make it to Mishicot, WI.

It took us 10. At one point, we had an HOUR LONG stop, simply because we needed to eat, and we couldn't eat on the road because we also had to change him. And feed him.

There were tears along the way. Lots of me jumping from the front seat to the back, either to pump, feed him, just check to make sure he was ok. There was some laughter. But nothing compares to the video that we made when we were absolutely exhausted, just after we got there.

And the sight of my little boy in his three-piece suit was something to behold. Too cute!

In other news, I'm down 6 pounds, so I'm finally UNDER 170. Barely. By a pound, if my boobs are empty of milk. But it's still under 170.

Woop woop! Here's to 6 more in the next few weeks! I'm hoping by the time school starts (did I mention, Dad, that I took your advice and took the job?) I hope to be down to my pre-pregnancy weight. Which is still above where I want to be. So we'll see....

We will see...

The Battle Against the Bulge

And no, I'm not talking about bulging diapers. Although, that can be a battle all in itself. Of course, many times, this mom is so anxious to get her little man out of his diapers, he pees mid-change anyway. I've never had someone pee on my hand as much as this little guy. Thank God this hand works as a great shield.

But I digress.

I'm talking about my weight. And yes, I know that there's plenty of time for me to lose it. Several people say, "9 months on, 9 months off!" and "your body has changed, it takes awhile to get back to normal."

Well, damnit, I want it back to normal.

I can successful squeeeeeeeze myself into one pair of pre-preggo shorts. And no, I will not go out in public in them. But I can do it.

There are a handful of skirts that I can get around my huge hips. Thank God for my love of empire-waist dresses, as those are coming in handy right about now.

I still have to wear REAL underwear because I'm still "leaking." I hate panty lines and even the underwear that "swear" against panty lines still create them. And no, I'm not buying sizes that are too small...

Well, maybe I am? But again, I digress.

So I weight 175. One hundred. Seventy-five. Pounds. Holy crap! I thought I'd never see the day! Some people still ask me if I'm pregnant. Really? Really? Screw you and the horse you rode in on!!!

I've been counting my calories (though being very careful not to overdo since I'm breastfeeding and have been battling to get my milk supply up), and I've been trying to get out and walk walk walk. When it's nice. And not hot. And I'm not sweating all over the place.

My husband is incredibly sweet and says, "You still do it for me, babe!" Yeah...too bad I don't feel the same way about my body.

My vagina is still incredibly sore, requiring baths both in the morning and at night, and "rinsing" after using the bathroom, plus the "pain spray" after every pee.It's annoying.

The one good thing from this weight is that my boobs are FANTASTIC!! I mean, fantastic. I have always wanted bigger boobs and now I have them.

However, not a whole lot of my shirts fit because of the gigantic boobs. But that, I can deal with.

In all of this, I gripe, I moan, I feel sorry for myself. When really, I need to remember that I'm "fat" because I had a "baby." Yeah, a baby. Who cries. Sometimes a lot. But he's awesome in the end. He's 5 weeks old and we're still going strong. I still love being a mom, I still feel important and at the end of the day, we love looking at each other. Just looking.

And cuddling in the mornings. My favorite part of the day because he's wide awake and we can hang out and he coo's at me.

I love it all, even with the added weight of everything. Pun intended.

James Thomas and the Practical Guide to Parenting: One Month

I've been thinking a lot about the crazy things you do for your child as a mom. Who in their right mind would wake up every three hours normally? Not anyone of sound mind, that's for sure. But low and behold, James cries in the middle of the night, I'm jumping out of bed without a moment's notice. Usually I'm wide awake, ready to face whatever thing he needs from his mommy. Poopy diaper? Annihilated. Hungry? Taken care of. I'm like Super Woman. Move the hell out of my way. When my baby's crying, there's no stopping me.

Unless I'm really, really tired. And then, there's a lot stopping me.

So here's James' Practical Guide to Parenting, as written by James.

1) Stop killing yourself to change the crib sheet every time my diaper leaks. Just start me at one end of the crib and work me down to the other. Then change the crib sheet.
2) It is ok to simply rinse the bottle you just fed me with to fill it, again, with formula. It will not kill me, I swear.
3) You make up some silly-ass songs. But I absolutely love them. My name is James *clapclap* I have a rash *clapclap* On *clapclap clap* My ass. Someday this will be what we call an oldie-but-goodie.
4) I am a newborn and I have mood swings. Deal with it.
5)  Sometimes I like the sound of my own voice. And the current timbre of my voice is "cry."
6) Yes, there are times that I like Dad more than you, and vice versa. Don't take it personally.
7) I cannot believe you have stooped to the level of licking your finger and wiping my face. Thought I'd never see the day.
8) Someday, I will not appreciate all these cutesy outfits you have put me in. And yes, I'm glad when Dad steps in and says you can't put me in something.
9) I don't know why you freak out about me possibly freaking out during thunderstorms. They are thunderstorms. I'm not freaking out. Why are you?
10) I love that all you let me watch is National Geographic, Animal Planet and The History Channel. Those shows are badass!

And so it goes.

There are so many other things you are starting to do.  A month has flown by and this morning, you smiled at us. A genuine, non-gas-related, longer than 2 second smile. We were over the moon! There have been some trying times, too. Like when your mom forgot to take the plastic wrap off the pork roast and cooked it for four hours before she realized it. Luckily, it was the non-melting kind, but led your dad and I to get on each other's nerves and in response, hate each other for about 3 hours. But at the end of the day, we love each other and decided to eat the pork roast and then never speak of the incident again. Looking back, we were both just really tired.

But tired, mad, sad and more tired are all wrapped up with a giant ball of elatedness that you're finally here. You're ours! And we couldn't be happier.

In other news, I can't help but notice that on your one month, a young, male cardinal showed up at our house. At first, we were laughing because it seems as though he loves to harass Kinnick since Kinnick can't seem to work up the speed to actually catch him. It's not as easy as the little,defenseless bunnies he seems to massacre every night while the neighborhood is sleeping. However, I noticed on Saturday that when I got up to feed you at 5:30 a.m., there was the cardinal. Maybe 3 feet from your window, looking straight in, chirping away with all the other birds in the morning. It was striking being so close on a tiny branch, and I noticed it right away!

It stayed there the entire time I fed you, while I changed you, and then disappeared when I laid you back in your crib. I tripped, exhausted, back into our bedroom and there, on the pear tree branch right outside of our bedroom window was the cardinal. And yes, there was no mistaking it was the same cardinal. Same horn of red feathers on his head, same size, chirping away! I couldn't believe it! There are only two cardinals, a male and female, in our neighborhood, two bluejays and a handful of other birds. It was the same cardinal!

I climbed back into bed, laughing to myself.

Hiya to you too, dad. Good to see you and thank you for watching over myself and James, and then showing back up to tell me I'm doing a good job. Sometimes, it feels like I'm not and I'm the worst mother in the world. Like when I don't necessarily know what to "do" with James - he can't see that well yet, but will this toy or that activity mat keep his interest?

I haven't seen you for a few days, dad, but I know you'll be back just when I'm feeling extra exhausted, sort of defeated and really overwhelmed. Thank you for that.

Thank you thank you thank you for that.