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| Mama Engels at 40 Weeks! |
That's a long time to be pregnant!
I've been thinking a lot about this post. What on earth am I going to write about? What should I want you to know when you read this 25 years down the line when you're expecting your own little bundle of joy.
You already know how you came to be, how we announced you, how I enjoyed (and didn't always enjoy) being pregnant. How I've waited for you, how I'm sad that your Grandpa Tom isn't here, how your dad and I are trying to do those "couple" things for the last time, how I'm elated to give your daddy the chance to be just that - a daddy.
So I guess there's just one more thing to write about. Your daddy.
1) Your daddy knows just how to handle me. Somehow, he's got it down to a fine art. For instance, tonight when we went fishing (to celebrate your due date...hilarious!) I got frustrated and somehow your daddy picked up on that very quickly. So what did he do? Blamed it on the fish, just like I was doing. Just so I wouldn't get so frustrated. He's too kind to point out my flaws.
2) Your daddy can act exactly like a big kid. Another example from our fishing excursion today: your daddy didn't want to go, but I was getting hungry, tired, and very crampy from contractions. So he said, "Just let me try and get rid of this worm" and dipped his pole and line in the water. I was thinking he just wanted to snag it on something. Nope, he was definitely still trying to fish. Without re-baiting his hook, but by using what he had left. He didn't want to leave, and he didn't want to waste the rest of his worm. Hilarious!
3) He is so excited for you to get here. I can see the disappoint when each day goes by and you're not here. I know he's going to love you with everything that he has and then some. I'm so glad that I finally put away my reservations, stopped letting life pass me by and gave him this beautiful gift. And myself. I can't wait to meet you!
4) I call him putt-putt, but I wish I had even the smallest amount of insight into situations that he has. It seems like every time I get worked up about something, he has a different way of looking at it that's more kind, sincere, and thoughtful. He makes educated decisions after weighing all the facts, and if there's anything I have learned from him, it's that you always, always make decisions after gathering the facts, not the opinions.
5) He is one of the most supportive and loyal people I have ever met. Because, once again, he takes the high road and always, always tells me, "Keep your side of the street clean." Sometimes he's so wise, I wonder where he hides that little boy that occasionally comes out to play.
6) I admire his tact, his ability to deal with people and his integrity. Sometimes, I can't believe how lucky I am. It hasn't always been this way between us, but now that it is, I can't ever see it being another way. Every day when I wake up, I love him even more. I know when I see him hold you, I will love him even more. I love him even more, every day. It's a lovely feeling.
7) There is something about being 100% completely yourself with someone. There are people with whom I am 90% real with. But with Eric, he knows all my secrets, flaws and fears, and yet he still loves me with everything he has. So I'm safe with him. And there's never a time that he doesn't love me. He always shows me respect, always treats me with kindness and makes sure I am happy. I cannot be more thankful!
8) He is so funny!!! He has some of the sharpest wit, funniest comebacks and overall, always makes me laugh. There was once upon a time where we didn't really laugh all that much, but we do now, and it's the most glorious thing. I love love love laughing with your dad, and it's one of my favorite things to do.
8) Your daddy is my best friend. I may not always like him and the things he does or the flaws he may have, but overall, he's my best friend. He encourages me, he supports me, he throws me a bone when I get frustrated over something stupid (i.e. the fish incident today...) and I can't think of anyone who will be a better father to anyone. I have seen him in just about every role and I cannot wait to see him in this one. He will be fantastic with it.
In other news, last night, we were watching the show Long Island Medium. Eric asked if I believed in that type of thing. I said yes and he replied with the fact that awhile back in our relationship, I had seemed so on the fence about it. I told him that was definitely before my dad died, and now that he is gone, I have seen things and felt things that you can't really explain. And it's my dad. I know it's my dad.
So I went on to say how I thought my dad had a hand in us having a baby boy. Because I knew my dad wouldn't give me a girl! He knows me too well. Eric came back with, "Maybe your dad gave us a boy because he didn't want me to be alone!" HILARIOUS! And it was with that comment that I am always astounded by his insight in things. That's exactly what my dad would have done. Not that he didn't always look out for me, but we're also talking about your grandpa, who patted your dad on the back when your dad asked to marry me, and said, "Well...good luck!" HA! So maybe you being a boy is my dad being humorous, but especially supportive. That would be just like your grandpa to joke like that. Ohhh, chuckles...
Otherwise, I'm just going to enjoy the time I have left with your dad. Because I know once you get here, it will be the both of us, together, but not really focusing on the us of things, but more on the you of things.
I love you already! Can't wait for you to be here!!!
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