At 4:00 a.m. on Thursday morning, I had just gotten fussy Catherine back to sleep. Usually, when our kids get up in the middle of the night, I take them. It takes me a while to settle down, because rarely, when I get up in the middle of the night, do I not think of the million things I have to do around the house, or at school, or with life in general.
As I was laying in bed, Eric snoring away beside me, Eric's phone started going off. Because he works around power tools all day, Eric has his ringer on full bore, and it was incredibly loud. Not wanting to wake Catherine, I woke Eric up as quickly and violently as I possibly could, hitting him on the back, saying, "You're phone is going off!" I was also incredibly confused as to why his alarm would be going off at 4:30 in the morning. Until he actually answered his phone, did I realize it was not his alarm, but someone was calling him.
It was his brother, Greg, who said, "I'm sitting outside of dad's house. It's on fire."
Immediately, we were both awake. Eric's family is such that if a fire had broke out, and had caused minimal damage, they would have waited until later that morning.
Eric, trying to understand what exactly Greg was saying, replied, "On fire?"
Greg said, "Yep. I'm watching the flames coming through the roof right now."
I can't even describe the absolute panic that enveloped me. This was Eric's childhood home. This was where we spent so many nights together while both attending Community College. This was where I watched Greg turn from a gangly, quiet, shy teenager into a grown man. This was where we had Christmases and birthdays.
I immediately began to cry.
When Jim got on the phone to talk to Eric, he said he had woken up disoriented. He smelled smoke and immediately threw on his jeans to investigate. He said the smoke was heavy, and he was having trouble breathing. He found his glasses on the couch, found the cat, threw him out the door and made his way downstairs, where the smoke was even worse. Jim threw on his shoes, walked out to his garage, drove out in his pickup and called 911. With not even a shirt on his back.
The house is a total loss. Eric said the front door, where you walk in, is melted. When you walk in and look up, the entire second floor is gone and the roof has caved in. The windows are busted out. The bathroom adjacent to the master bedroom, where Jim was sleeping, is decimated. The fire began in a fuse box just on the other side of that bathroom. The kitchen is gone. The living room where Eric and I spent so much time as a new couple, is gone. Everything is covered in ash, soot and water.
The only thing that Jim was able to salvage were a few things from his bedroom. The only room mostly untouched by fire was his bedroom and a back room. Both of those rooms furthest away from where the fire started.
I was in shock. All those personal belongings, completely gone. Family photos, heirlooms, memories. Everything was gone.
But Jim was ok. And that's what I'm most thankful for. Especially in these days preceding the anniversary of my dad's death. He was able to wake up and make it out. A guardian angel was looking after him that night.
The pictures and video that Greg sent of the house up in flames later Thursday morning were difficult to look at. All of those memories, and absolutely nothing left.
Not to mention, my father-in-law, a wonderful, wonderful person, completely displaced.
Eric went to help salvage what he could on Thursday afternoon, but there wasn't much. Jim's guns and ammo, which were untouched (thankfully). A couple of gifts he had received from his Godfather. Meatball, the cat that they have had for 12 years.
Devastated is a good word for it, but thankful is also a good word for it. Very, very thankful.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
8 Months!
My, oh my. Where is time going?
First thing's first: we are not going to go ahead with the helmet. After looking at the effects, how long you would have to wear it (not long), the probability that it would actually work, and the fact that it would not actually correct anything on the sides of your head, just the back, we decided to not go with it.
We hemmed and hawed over the decision for quite awhile until your dad decided that we look at some pictures of James. There you had it, our answer, glaring back at us from our external hard drive. James had the same head shape. Complete with the sides sticking out. And since we've noticed, and have worked diligently to do something about it, we can tell your head is changing. Not very quickly, but it is. Which makes us that much happier that we decided not to fork out the $2700 for a helmet. In the end, it won't matter much because of your hair, but at the same time, we want what is best for you. However, we also need to look at what is best for our family. And spending $2700 on a helmet that you will wear for a short amount of time was not best for our family. Not with $300/week in daycare.
So there you have it. In other news, you are finally rolling over. Not even a week after I wrote about how you weren't rolling over, you did. And you've been doing it non-stop. It seems as though if it is our idea, you don't want to have anything to do with it. But if it's yours, you are all about it. So you made up your mind and started rolling. And it wasn't a roll-over that you struggled with, it was the fact that you just did it. It was like you've been doing it for a long time, but we never saw it, which was not the case. Needless to say, we are very excited.
Along with rolling over, you try army crawling, a lot. But you never quite go anywhere. You shove your head in the floor and try with all your might to get that butt in the air, but to no avail. You try to pull yourself with your tiny arms, but you don't end up going anywhere. You have figured out that if you roll places, you get there faster. It's quite funny to watch.
All of a sudden, after the rolling-over took off, you started standing up for long periods of time. We have an activity saucer we put you in from time to time, and sometimes you will just stand up, balanced by the seat but no longer really sitting. I wonder if you will be one of those babies who skips the crawling and goes right to walking. Looks like it could actually happen.
You still love James. It warms my heart more than you know to see you play together. He loves to cuddle and hug you. He loves to plant kisses on your head, and you love to smile and coo at him. It's adorable to watch.
Mornings are my favorite time with you. While everyone is still sleeping, I sneak into your room and drag you into bed with me. We nurse laying stomach to stomach, and when you're finished, you always look up and smile at me, patting your hand against my cheek. It is the most beautiful moment and I will miss them when they are gone.
Speaking of nursing, we are still breastfeeding, which is awesome. I always have enough milk for you. The only hard part has been pumping while at work. However, I have been able to keep up (barely). I also had a fleeting thought that I only have three more months of breastfeeding. And then I thought, I only have three more months of breastfeeding!!!!!!! Yes, I was elated and sad all the same. Sad because it truly is a lovely thing to experience with your child, and elated because sometimes, breastfeeding really cuts into a schedule. I am part of a breastfeeding support group on Facebook and several times, a mom will post about a negative situation she experienced while breastfeeding in public. I am not one to breastfeed in public. Even the blanket-over-the-baby thing doesn't work for me. Because how are you supposed to get the poor child to latch if you have the blanket on? I always have to wait for the blanket to go on after latching, which means my boob hangs out there for a good 10 seconds. Not to mention, you aren't a fan of the cross-hold anymore. Nope, we lay down to nurse everywhere we are. So I always have to take into account your breastfeeding schedule while we're out in public. I'd rather do it in the comfort of my own bed. :)
You clap clap clap, all the time. You clap while you're standing in your activity chair, you clap while you're rolling around on the floor. You clap for James, you clap for me, you clap for dad. It's adorable. :)
So far, you have tried pears, peas, bananas, broccoli, sweet potatoes and apples. We will not be giving you bananas again anytime soon. Stupid me, with your gastrointestinal problems, I didn't think that bananas make you constipated. So it worsened the problem for you, which made our lives a living hell! Any "p" food really seems to help your digestive tract, so I try to give you at least one "p" cube of food per feeding.
And with that, I'm thankful that your digestive issues seem to not plague us *as much* any more. It's been a tough road, and you still strain when pooping, but at least it's not as bad as it used to be. You still get constipated every once in awhile, which makes you incredibly irritable, but it's easier to deal with now that the issues are getting further and further apart. Thank God.
Otherwise, you have become quite animated, talkative, and sassy. I am loving every minute of it. I remember after having you, talking with a friend about how hectic life is and she mentioned that at about 6 months, it gets so much easier. I wouldn't say it was necessarily 6 months for us, but it has definitely gotten easier. We're into a routine that works for us, and I am able to do it by myself when Eric has to work.
We're on our way - I can't believe it's already been 8 months. I love you baby girl!
First thing's first: we are not going to go ahead with the helmet. After looking at the effects, how long you would have to wear it (not long), the probability that it would actually work, and the fact that it would not actually correct anything on the sides of your head, just the back, we decided to not go with it.
We hemmed and hawed over the decision for quite awhile until your dad decided that we look at some pictures of James. There you had it, our answer, glaring back at us from our external hard drive. James had the same head shape. Complete with the sides sticking out. And since we've noticed, and have worked diligently to do something about it, we can tell your head is changing. Not very quickly, but it is. Which makes us that much happier that we decided not to fork out the $2700 for a helmet. In the end, it won't matter much because of your hair, but at the same time, we want what is best for you. However, we also need to look at what is best for our family. And spending $2700 on a helmet that you will wear for a short amount of time was not best for our family. Not with $300/week in daycare.
So there you have it. In other news, you are finally rolling over. Not even a week after I wrote about how you weren't rolling over, you did. And you've been doing it non-stop. It seems as though if it is our idea, you don't want to have anything to do with it. But if it's yours, you are all about it. So you made up your mind and started rolling. And it wasn't a roll-over that you struggled with, it was the fact that you just did it. It was like you've been doing it for a long time, but we never saw it, which was not the case. Needless to say, we are very excited.
Along with rolling over, you try army crawling, a lot. But you never quite go anywhere. You shove your head in the floor and try with all your might to get that butt in the air, but to no avail. You try to pull yourself with your tiny arms, but you don't end up going anywhere. You have figured out that if you roll places, you get there faster. It's quite funny to watch.
All of a sudden, after the rolling-over took off, you started standing up for long periods of time. We have an activity saucer we put you in from time to time, and sometimes you will just stand up, balanced by the seat but no longer really sitting. I wonder if you will be one of those babies who skips the crawling and goes right to walking. Looks like it could actually happen.
You still love James. It warms my heart more than you know to see you play together. He loves to cuddle and hug you. He loves to plant kisses on your head, and you love to smile and coo at him. It's adorable to watch.
Mornings are my favorite time with you. While everyone is still sleeping, I sneak into your room and drag you into bed with me. We nurse laying stomach to stomach, and when you're finished, you always look up and smile at me, patting your hand against my cheek. It is the most beautiful moment and I will miss them when they are gone.
Speaking of nursing, we are still breastfeeding, which is awesome. I always have enough milk for you. The only hard part has been pumping while at work. However, I have been able to keep up (barely). I also had a fleeting thought that I only have three more months of breastfeeding. And then I thought, I only have three more months of breastfeeding!!!!!!! Yes, I was elated and sad all the same. Sad because it truly is a lovely thing to experience with your child, and elated because sometimes, breastfeeding really cuts into a schedule. I am part of a breastfeeding support group on Facebook and several times, a mom will post about a negative situation she experienced while breastfeeding in public. I am not one to breastfeed in public. Even the blanket-over-the-baby thing doesn't work for me. Because how are you supposed to get the poor child to latch if you have the blanket on? I always have to wait for the blanket to go on after latching, which means my boob hangs out there for a good 10 seconds. Not to mention, you aren't a fan of the cross-hold anymore. Nope, we lay down to nurse everywhere we are. So I always have to take into account your breastfeeding schedule while we're out in public. I'd rather do it in the comfort of my own bed. :)
You clap clap clap, all the time. You clap while you're standing in your activity chair, you clap while you're rolling around on the floor. You clap for James, you clap for me, you clap for dad. It's adorable. :)
So far, you have tried pears, peas, bananas, broccoli, sweet potatoes and apples. We will not be giving you bananas again anytime soon. Stupid me, with your gastrointestinal problems, I didn't think that bananas make you constipated. So it worsened the problem for you, which made our lives a living hell! Any "p" food really seems to help your digestive tract, so I try to give you at least one "p" cube of food per feeding.
And with that, I'm thankful that your digestive issues seem to not plague us *as much* any more. It's been a tough road, and you still strain when pooping, but at least it's not as bad as it used to be. You still get constipated every once in awhile, which makes you incredibly irritable, but it's easier to deal with now that the issues are getting further and further apart. Thank God.
Otherwise, you have become quite animated, talkative, and sassy. I am loving every minute of it. I remember after having you, talking with a friend about how hectic life is and she mentioned that at about 6 months, it gets so much easier. I wouldn't say it was necessarily 6 months for us, but it has definitely gotten easier. We're into a routine that works for us, and I am able to do it by myself when Eric has to work.
We're on our way - I can't believe it's already been 8 months. I love you baby girl!
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
"Life's Tough. Get a Helmet"
Catherine's life up until this point has been everything that James' life up until this point wasn't.
We had severe constipation issues from the beginning, which lead to her not eating. This lack of nutrition caused her not to grow, which lead us to supplement with formula for a week, which we found out caused her some pretty horrific acid reflux. During this week of horrific reflux, we saw a gastroenterologist who told us that our daughter was probably allergic to dairy, soy and eggs, so I should stop breastfeeding and supplement with $50 cans of formula that wouldn't even last us a week. So instead, I cut that out of my diet.
And yet, our constipation issues plagued us. We have been back and forth to doctors, and it seems like I always have something to add to my list of things to "try," and once that stops working, it's on to the next. It's a constant guessing game, and while we're at it, Catherine is throwing a fit every two seconds. When she's not smiling and cooing and being adorable.
So her lack of growth caused a lack of growth in her muscles, which lead to them not developing very well. This lead to Catherine still not rolling over by the age of 6 months. Sitting up seems like a very distant possibility, although we're getting there, and overall, she is tiny for her age. Sometimes, it feels like she's more like 4 months rather than almost 8.
Which leads us to this point. Being on her back constantly has lead to a flat head. And not just a flat head, but her skull is starting to come out on the sides, which is pushing her ears down. This is causing her to, in all honesty, look kind of funny.
So we had a consult for a helmet, and by God, she was right in the middle of the pack. Not at the severe point, but to the point that if she continues to grow, her skull, and possibly her face will become more misshapen.
Well, then, we'll just get the helmet, right?
Nope. Because our insurance says that it's cosmetic. The only insurance that covers it is Title XIX and to be honest, not only do we not qualify, but we wouldn't want to go that route anyway. We're not that type of people.
And how much does this helmet, with just a few months of physical therapy cost?
$3000.
I was smart enough to take out $1000 in flex since I knew we were going to have a newborn. Tomorrow, I will call and make sure that our flex covers it. But that still leaves $2000.
We have $2000. But how sure are we that a helmet is even going to work? I have read horror stories of children and parents who have done just this, and it has happened to them. The helmet didn't work, and of course, the child looks even worse than when they began. A new study just came out saying that in all reality, a helmet only works 33% of the time.
So I have been researching craniosacral therapy, which simply involves visiting a chiropractor who works with them to reshape their head using "gentle pressure and sculpting techniques." But do I want another human pressing on my babies skull every day? And what type of time am I going to have to take off of work for that? Will I always be able to slip out a few minutes early to make sure that her head becomes perfectly round? But yet, insurance will pay for chiropractic visits. All of them.
And who says that will work? What will be better in the long run? The helmet or the therapy? Or neither?
I am at a loss. You want to do everything that you can for your child, no matter what the cost. But at the same time, you also don't want to choose to do something that is actually going to make things worse. I want to best for my children, and by God, I want Catherine to grow up without ears that are crooked, or an eye that is lower than the other, or, what this is all about, a flat head.
So lots of decision-making going on in this house. I always ask myself in the classroom - "What is the best decision for my students?" So here, I need to simply ask myself, what's the best decision for Catherine? A helmet that she wears for 23 hours a day? Or therapy that she goes to several times a week? Or neither?
I'm a black and white girl, and usually can make decisions about anything fairly rapidly without any regrets. But this is a whole new ball game. I am always confident in any other decisions, but when it comes to something that I don't know is actually going to work, I can't really decide.
So I guess I'll wait for some sign that tells me what the right thing to do is. I just hope it's not the wrong thing once I choose.
We had severe constipation issues from the beginning, which lead to her not eating. This lack of nutrition caused her not to grow, which lead us to supplement with formula for a week, which we found out caused her some pretty horrific acid reflux. During this week of horrific reflux, we saw a gastroenterologist who told us that our daughter was probably allergic to dairy, soy and eggs, so I should stop breastfeeding and supplement with $50 cans of formula that wouldn't even last us a week. So instead, I cut that out of my diet.
And yet, our constipation issues plagued us. We have been back and forth to doctors, and it seems like I always have something to add to my list of things to "try," and once that stops working, it's on to the next. It's a constant guessing game, and while we're at it, Catherine is throwing a fit every two seconds. When she's not smiling and cooing and being adorable.
So her lack of growth caused a lack of growth in her muscles, which lead to them not developing very well. This lead to Catherine still not rolling over by the age of 6 months. Sitting up seems like a very distant possibility, although we're getting there, and overall, she is tiny for her age. Sometimes, it feels like she's more like 4 months rather than almost 8.
Which leads us to this point. Being on her back constantly has lead to a flat head. And not just a flat head, but her skull is starting to come out on the sides, which is pushing her ears down. This is causing her to, in all honesty, look kind of funny.
So we had a consult for a helmet, and by God, she was right in the middle of the pack. Not at the severe point, but to the point that if she continues to grow, her skull, and possibly her face will become more misshapen.
Well, then, we'll just get the helmet, right?
Nope. Because our insurance says that it's cosmetic. The only insurance that covers it is Title XIX and to be honest, not only do we not qualify, but we wouldn't want to go that route anyway. We're not that type of people.
And how much does this helmet, with just a few months of physical therapy cost?
$3000.
I was smart enough to take out $1000 in flex since I knew we were going to have a newborn. Tomorrow, I will call and make sure that our flex covers it. But that still leaves $2000.
We have $2000. But how sure are we that a helmet is even going to work? I have read horror stories of children and parents who have done just this, and it has happened to them. The helmet didn't work, and of course, the child looks even worse than when they began. A new study just came out saying that in all reality, a helmet only works 33% of the time.
So I have been researching craniosacral therapy, which simply involves visiting a chiropractor who works with them to reshape their head using "gentle pressure and sculpting techniques." But do I want another human pressing on my babies skull every day? And what type of time am I going to have to take off of work for that? Will I always be able to slip out a few minutes early to make sure that her head becomes perfectly round? But yet, insurance will pay for chiropractic visits. All of them.
And who says that will work? What will be better in the long run? The helmet or the therapy? Or neither?
I am at a loss. You want to do everything that you can for your child, no matter what the cost. But at the same time, you also don't want to choose to do something that is actually going to make things worse. I want to best for my children, and by God, I want Catherine to grow up without ears that are crooked, or an eye that is lower than the other, or, what this is all about, a flat head.
So lots of decision-making going on in this house. I always ask myself in the classroom - "What is the best decision for my students?" So here, I need to simply ask myself, what's the best decision for Catherine? A helmet that she wears for 23 hours a day? Or therapy that she goes to several times a week? Or neither?
I'm a black and white girl, and usually can make decisions about anything fairly rapidly without any regrets. But this is a whole new ball game. I am always confident in any other decisions, but when it comes to something that I don't know is actually going to work, I can't really decide.
So I guess I'll wait for some sign that tells me what the right thing to do is. I just hope it's not the wrong thing once I choose.
Saturday, January 3, 2015
7.5 Months!
Dear Lord, I am getting worse and worse at these updates.
So here we are, at 7.5 months and my God, you are adorable. Your little laugh is more like a squeal, you absolutely adore James. He loves playing with you and giving you hugs. You are eating solids like a champ, but wow, are you like a little princess.
Your dad says that you are just like your mother. To which I usually harrumph and stomp off. But secretly, I think you are.
You have a schedule and by God, we need to stick to it. When you are off that schedule, watch out. You have an agenda, just like me. At this point in time, you would like to sit in the bumbo. At this point in time, which is seconds after the last point in time, you would like to roll around on the floor. At this point in time, you would like to roll around on the floor, but this time, with a toy. At this point in time, you are done with the toy and would like to be held, front-facing of course, so you can pump your legs up and down. You're going to be hell on wheels as a teenager. And I say that with all the love in my heart. :)
I am a black and white girl, so when people ask if you are rolling over, I say no. Because technically, you aren't. But at the same time, if you would just figure out how to move your arm out of the way, you would be rolling over. You roll to the point where you are laying on your arm. And then you quickly roll back because, obviously, it's uncomfortable. Every so often, James will help you roll over (forgetting that you are a mere 14 pounds) and you will have enough momentum where you will be able to move your arm out. But on your own, from back to front, it's not happening. Front to back will, but you hate being on your front so after a few seconds, you start to cry (at this point in time, you want to be picked up and put back in your bumbo).
When you are laying on your front, and NOT crying, you are digging your face into the carpet and pumping those little legs. Sometimes you will pump your legs with your head up, grasping at the carpet in front of you. I can see crawling is on it's way, but not for a little while yet. You're just so little, I think you need some more mass in order to really get moving.
You are still constipated, all the time. I feel so horrible for you, as you strain and grunt and scream and it's so taxing and grating and at the same time I feel so bad. So we just try to coax you through it. I've been trying some massage techniques to help, and they actually do seem to be working, so hopefully that's not just something that's in my head.
You are SO VOCAL about everything. James is absolutely like his father and you are absolutely my child, all the way.
Again, being slack and white, you haven't really "sat up," but you can sit by yourself for about 5-10 seconds at a time. I have a feeling you are also there. And that's good, since you hate any sort of confining seat, like the bouncer that hangs from our doorway and your activity chair. So completely different from James.
Otherwise, we have a consult this Thursday to see if you need a helmet for your big, flat head. As I was telling my principal one day, "I need to leave early to take Catherine to be sized for a helmet." He asked, "A helmet? What for?" I said, "Because we failed as parents."
That's not necessarily true, but at the same time, we probably could have done more. You slept in your carseat and rock-n-play sleeper up until last month. That's because you choke, thanks to what I believe to be a nasty case of acid reflux. And no, we haven't had it treated because I don't want to start you on pills this young. So we elevate you. Which means you sleep in the car seat at daycare, and you slept in your rock-n-play in your room. You still fit in it, so I didn't see the harm.
Until we went to our 6 month appointment. The pediatrician did mention that you really can't tell that much, but if you catch your profile just so, it's noticeably flat. And you're at the point where your skull is starting to close the soft spots, and it will STAY like that. So off for a helmet consult. The pediatrician has seen worse, but she has also seen children NOT have a helmet, and as their skulls grew, their ears became asymmetrical, which leads to hearing problems etc. And let's face it, if you are able to do anything for your child to make their life perfect, wouldn't you? The pediatrician didn't know if we would be recommended for a helmet or not, but she said just go for the consult and see what they say.
So off we go on Thursday. I will be anxious to see what they say.
Otherwise, you are my growing, silly little girl, who LOVES to "dance" to music, loves playing any game where I go out of sight completely and reappear somewhere (usually played while you are sitting on the counter in your bumbo and I am cooking dinner), and kisses from your brother. Really, anything from your brother.
I love you, baby girl. Flat head and all. ;)
So here we are, at 7.5 months and my God, you are adorable. Your little laugh is more like a squeal, you absolutely adore James. He loves playing with you and giving you hugs. You are eating solids like a champ, but wow, are you like a little princess.
Your dad says that you are just like your mother. To which I usually harrumph and stomp off. But secretly, I think you are.
You have a schedule and by God, we need to stick to it. When you are off that schedule, watch out. You have an agenda, just like me. At this point in time, you would like to sit in the bumbo. At this point in time, which is seconds after the last point in time, you would like to roll around on the floor. At this point in time, you would like to roll around on the floor, but this time, with a toy. At this point in time, you are done with the toy and would like to be held, front-facing of course, so you can pump your legs up and down. You're going to be hell on wheels as a teenager. And I say that with all the love in my heart. :)
I am a black and white girl, so when people ask if you are rolling over, I say no. Because technically, you aren't. But at the same time, if you would just figure out how to move your arm out of the way, you would be rolling over. You roll to the point where you are laying on your arm. And then you quickly roll back because, obviously, it's uncomfortable. Every so often, James will help you roll over (forgetting that you are a mere 14 pounds) and you will have enough momentum where you will be able to move your arm out. But on your own, from back to front, it's not happening. Front to back will, but you hate being on your front so after a few seconds, you start to cry (at this point in time, you want to be picked up and put back in your bumbo).
When you are laying on your front, and NOT crying, you are digging your face into the carpet and pumping those little legs. Sometimes you will pump your legs with your head up, grasping at the carpet in front of you. I can see crawling is on it's way, but not for a little while yet. You're just so little, I think you need some more mass in order to really get moving.
You are still constipated, all the time. I feel so horrible for you, as you strain and grunt and scream and it's so taxing and grating and at the same time I feel so bad. So we just try to coax you through it. I've been trying some massage techniques to help, and they actually do seem to be working, so hopefully that's not just something that's in my head.
You are SO VOCAL about everything. James is absolutely like his father and you are absolutely my child, all the way.
Again, being slack and white, you haven't really "sat up," but you can sit by yourself for about 5-10 seconds at a time. I have a feeling you are also there. And that's good, since you hate any sort of confining seat, like the bouncer that hangs from our doorway and your activity chair. So completely different from James.
Otherwise, we have a consult this Thursday to see if you need a helmet for your big, flat head. As I was telling my principal one day, "I need to leave early to take Catherine to be sized for a helmet." He asked, "A helmet? What for?" I said, "Because we failed as parents."
That's not necessarily true, but at the same time, we probably could have done more. You slept in your carseat and rock-n-play sleeper up until last month. That's because you choke, thanks to what I believe to be a nasty case of acid reflux. And no, we haven't had it treated because I don't want to start you on pills this young. So we elevate you. Which means you sleep in the car seat at daycare, and you slept in your rock-n-play in your room. You still fit in it, so I didn't see the harm.
Until we went to our 6 month appointment. The pediatrician did mention that you really can't tell that much, but if you catch your profile just so, it's noticeably flat. And you're at the point where your skull is starting to close the soft spots, and it will STAY like that. So off for a helmet consult. The pediatrician has seen worse, but she has also seen children NOT have a helmet, and as their skulls grew, their ears became asymmetrical, which leads to hearing problems etc. And let's face it, if you are able to do anything for your child to make their life perfect, wouldn't you? The pediatrician didn't know if we would be recommended for a helmet or not, but she said just go for the consult and see what they say.
So off we go on Thursday. I will be anxious to see what they say.
Otherwise, you are my growing, silly little girl, who LOVES to "dance" to music, loves playing any game where I go out of sight completely and reappear somewhere (usually played while you are sitting on the counter in your bumbo and I am cooking dinner), and kisses from your brother. Really, anything from your brother.
I love you, baby girl. Flat head and all. ;)
Potty Training, Breastfeeding, and The Return of Mother Nature
Potty-Training.
Still no pooping in the toilet. James has pooped just about everywhere but the toilet. My daycare provider has been working with him, I have been working with him, but the kid will dance around and hold it until the urge must, obviously, go away. He has pooped in his pants while crouching down for something, and in the bath, both situations catching him by surprise. So that's how, I think, we'll have to trick him into it. Both times, I wasn't "around" (just in the other room) to catch it in time. UGH! But like I said, we're working on it.
In all, peeing has been great. James still celebrates like it's his first time, but the kid is easily excitable. He pees standing up in front of his small toilet, sitting down on his small toilet, standing on a step stool in front of the big toilet, or sitting backward on the big toilet. He takes great pleasure in aiming his pee everywhere he can in the bowl, oftentimes making swirls or zig zags. It's pretty funny to watch.
But no poop. Since he holds it, we put him in a diaper for naps, although we didn't start off doing that. After getting sick and having a series of accidents during nap, I put the diaper back on. He often wakes up dry, and sometimes even wakes up having pooped (how does someone poop in their sleep??), but I feel better that it's there, just in case.
Breastfeeding
I cannot believe that I have made it this long breastfeeding. But it's been a fight. More often than not, I feel like I'm not producing enough milk. And then, all of a sudden, Catherine seems like she's satisfied. The anxiety that I have gone through in regard to breastfeeding is enough to last a life time, but I am so glad that I am still going. It's been so worth it.
When Catherine was about 5 months old, we introduced solids, and that put us on an awesome schedule... at home. At daycare, it was a different story. After sitting down with my daycare provider, we finally figured out she was giving Catherine waaaay too much breast milk, which didn't coincide with the schedule we were smoothly sailing through here at home. For about two months, her schedule has been:
6:30 a.m. Nurse
8:30 a.m. Solids
9:00 a.m. Nap
11:00 a.m. Nurse
12:30 p.m. Solids
1:00 p.m. Nap
3:00 p.m. Nurse
5:00 p.m. Solids
6:00 p.m. Nurse/Bedtime
9:30 p.m. Dream feed
And then she sleeps for 12 hours (unless she's screaming, then NO ONE sleeps. Except James... that kid can sleep through anything).
So Christy and I figured out that instead of giving Catherine solids at 8:30 a.m., because Christy transports and has her in a car, where she easily falls asleep, Christy gives Catherine breast milk at 10:00, when Catherine wakes from her first morning nap. Then Christy gives her solids for lunch, about noon, and then more breast milk at 1:00. So Catherine's schedule was flip-flopped, which meant I was unable to pump what Christy was giving her. Thankfully, we were able to sit down and figure it out, which took all the stress and anxiety about not being able to produce enough, away. And since then, it's been glorious. I am so thankful for a daycare provider who strives to understand rather than boss me around and tell me what to do as a parent!
So, there you have it. I nurse 4 times a day, giving Catherine about 28 ounces, plus 3 ounces of food each feeding, which is about 12 ounces per day. And from here, we just up the ounces of food. Since I've made it this long, a lot of people are asking how long I think I'll go. I keep saying a year, because after that, it gets weird. But now that I know her birthday is less than 5 months away, I wonder if I will really make it a year. And when I say a year, I mean, quit at 11 months and then use my freezer stash until that runs out, then start her on whole milk. But I wonder if I will actually go up to a year, and then quit? I'm not sure. I try not to think about it, because truly, my most favorite part of any day is when I creep into her room at 9:30 p.m., gently rouse my little princess, and have her dream feed.I know a lot of people nurse for as long as possible because they want to avoid the dreaded return of their period... which brings me to The Return of Mother Nature.
The Return of Mother Nature
As I write this, we are waiting for the first snow of the New Year. But that's not what I'm talking about.
Oh, no. As I was recuperating from my night celebrating the eve of 2015, a night full of Lilo and Stitch (I hate those movies!) and a constipated 7.5 month old, I felt like I had partied circa 1999 New Year's Eve where I didn't even make it until midnight. Why yes, that New Year's Eve I was in bed before my parents.
Nope. I was in shock. Because my period returned. WHAT?
Christmas was not necessarily a nightmare, but I felt like I was in a high-stress situation at all times. Catherine was not having the pack-n-play, or really, anything about Christmas, and whenever she cries for long periods of time, my anxiety flies through the roof. It sucks. So I always felt like I was on edge.
During the day on New Years Eve, I tried nursing Catherine, but my milk would not let down. It was so frustrating and took a good 5 minutes for my milk to finally release. I remember getting so frustrated, right along with Catherine. And then, I was terrified, because I thought I was losing my supply. Again. For the billionth time this month. But no, apparently, that is what can happen with the onset of your period. Which came the next day.
Happy 2015 to me!
I forgot what it was like to have my period, and I especially was not anticipating it's "triumphant" return so soon. Neither was my husband, judging by the disappointed look on his face. But in the back of my mind, I knew it was bound to happen. I just didn't know it was going to be 7.5 months post-partum.
But the biggest thing I underestimated about it's return, was the horrible way I felt. Not to mention, I have always been able to stave off the cramps and bloating with Midol, or some other miracle drug. Nope, not this time. The pain was horrible. It's subsiding, here on Day 3, but it's still there. And beyond that, my boobs hurt the most. Not my uterus, which felt like a basketball with spikes on it, sitting in my gut, and every time I would move it would dig in a little more. Nope. My boobs, which felt like they were pulsing with pain. I swear, I could look down at myself and literally see them move with every heart beat. They hurt. so. bad. What the hell was that all about? Then, when my milk came in when it was time to feed Catherine? Holy hell. Call an ambulance. I remember having to breath through the cramps that happened when I first started breast feeding in the hospital, at one point having to hand off Catherine to concentrate on breathing through them while the nurse said, "Yeah, the cramps are way worse with the second kid." Nope, these were way worse. Not to mention, on top of all that, I just felt like shit. Tired, lethargic, and desperately wanting to find a way to occupy my children with some electronic so I could catch a few hours of sleep (haha, yeah right, like that would EVER happen).
Advil does't recommend taking more than 6 pills in a 24 hour period. But Advil isn't a breastfeeding woman, 7.5 months post-partum. I absolutely took 12 pills in a 24 hour period, and that still didn't help. What's even more awesome is that, being the good wife I am, I told Eric I would take the kids yesterday so he could watch his bowl games. What a mistake. Sometimes, I wish I could call in sick to parenting. Oh well, we're on the mend. Hopefully. Only now, I know this bitch will be back in less than a month, and I'm not looking forward to it. At all. I wonder if they make anything stronger than Advil? Maybe Vodka?
So there you have it. My life, in a nutshell. It did not contain any stories of debauchery. No shenanigans of any type. And that's exactly the way I want it.
God bless this life. Poop, boobs, and periods included.
Still no pooping in the toilet. James has pooped just about everywhere but the toilet. My daycare provider has been working with him, I have been working with him, but the kid will dance around and hold it until the urge must, obviously, go away. He has pooped in his pants while crouching down for something, and in the bath, both situations catching him by surprise. So that's how, I think, we'll have to trick him into it. Both times, I wasn't "around" (just in the other room) to catch it in time. UGH! But like I said, we're working on it.
In all, peeing has been great. James still celebrates like it's his first time, but the kid is easily excitable. He pees standing up in front of his small toilet, sitting down on his small toilet, standing on a step stool in front of the big toilet, or sitting backward on the big toilet. He takes great pleasure in aiming his pee everywhere he can in the bowl, oftentimes making swirls or zig zags. It's pretty funny to watch.
But no poop. Since he holds it, we put him in a diaper for naps, although we didn't start off doing that. After getting sick and having a series of accidents during nap, I put the diaper back on. He often wakes up dry, and sometimes even wakes up having pooped (how does someone poop in their sleep??), but I feel better that it's there, just in case.
Breastfeeding
I cannot believe that I have made it this long breastfeeding. But it's been a fight. More often than not, I feel like I'm not producing enough milk. And then, all of a sudden, Catherine seems like she's satisfied. The anxiety that I have gone through in regard to breastfeeding is enough to last a life time, but I am so glad that I am still going. It's been so worth it.
When Catherine was about 5 months old, we introduced solids, and that put us on an awesome schedule... at home. At daycare, it was a different story. After sitting down with my daycare provider, we finally figured out she was giving Catherine waaaay too much breast milk, which didn't coincide with the schedule we were smoothly sailing through here at home. For about two months, her schedule has been:
6:30 a.m. Nurse
8:30 a.m. Solids
9:00 a.m. Nap
11:00 a.m. Nurse
12:30 p.m. Solids
1:00 p.m. Nap
3:00 p.m. Nurse
5:00 p.m. Solids
6:00 p.m. Nurse/Bedtime
9:30 p.m. Dream feed
And then she sleeps for 12 hours (unless she's screaming, then NO ONE sleeps. Except James... that kid can sleep through anything).
So Christy and I figured out that instead of giving Catherine solids at 8:30 a.m., because Christy transports and has her in a car, where she easily falls asleep, Christy gives Catherine breast milk at 10:00, when Catherine wakes from her first morning nap. Then Christy gives her solids for lunch, about noon, and then more breast milk at 1:00. So Catherine's schedule was flip-flopped, which meant I was unable to pump what Christy was giving her. Thankfully, we were able to sit down and figure it out, which took all the stress and anxiety about not being able to produce enough, away. And since then, it's been glorious. I am so thankful for a daycare provider who strives to understand rather than boss me around and tell me what to do as a parent!
So, there you have it. I nurse 4 times a day, giving Catherine about 28 ounces, plus 3 ounces of food each feeding, which is about 12 ounces per day. And from here, we just up the ounces of food. Since I've made it this long, a lot of people are asking how long I think I'll go. I keep saying a year, because after that, it gets weird. But now that I know her birthday is less than 5 months away, I wonder if I will really make it a year. And when I say a year, I mean, quit at 11 months and then use my freezer stash until that runs out, then start her on whole milk. But I wonder if I will actually go up to a year, and then quit? I'm not sure. I try not to think about it, because truly, my most favorite part of any day is when I creep into her room at 9:30 p.m., gently rouse my little princess, and have her dream feed.I know a lot of people nurse for as long as possible because they want to avoid the dreaded return of their period... which brings me to The Return of Mother Nature.
The Return of Mother Nature
As I write this, we are waiting for the first snow of the New Year. But that's not what I'm talking about.
Oh, no. As I was recuperating from my night celebrating the eve of 2015, a night full of Lilo and Stitch (I hate those movies!) and a constipated 7.5 month old, I felt like I had partied circa 1999 New Year's Eve where I didn't even make it until midnight. Why yes, that New Year's Eve I was in bed before my parents.
Nope. I was in shock. Because my period returned. WHAT?
Christmas was not necessarily a nightmare, but I felt like I was in a high-stress situation at all times. Catherine was not having the pack-n-play, or really, anything about Christmas, and whenever she cries for long periods of time, my anxiety flies through the roof. It sucks. So I always felt like I was on edge.
During the day on New Years Eve, I tried nursing Catherine, but my milk would not let down. It was so frustrating and took a good 5 minutes for my milk to finally release. I remember getting so frustrated, right along with Catherine. And then, I was terrified, because I thought I was losing my supply. Again. For the billionth time this month. But no, apparently, that is what can happen with the onset of your period. Which came the next day.
Happy 2015 to me!
I forgot what it was like to have my period, and I especially was not anticipating it's "triumphant" return so soon. Neither was my husband, judging by the disappointed look on his face. But in the back of my mind, I knew it was bound to happen. I just didn't know it was going to be 7.5 months post-partum.
But the biggest thing I underestimated about it's return, was the horrible way I felt. Not to mention, I have always been able to stave off the cramps and bloating with Midol, or some other miracle drug. Nope, not this time. The pain was horrible. It's subsiding, here on Day 3, but it's still there. And beyond that, my boobs hurt the most. Not my uterus, which felt like a basketball with spikes on it, sitting in my gut, and every time I would move it would dig in a little more. Nope. My boobs, which felt like they were pulsing with pain. I swear, I could look down at myself and literally see them move with every heart beat. They hurt. so. bad. What the hell was that all about? Then, when my milk came in when it was time to feed Catherine? Holy hell. Call an ambulance. I remember having to breath through the cramps that happened when I first started breast feeding in the hospital, at one point having to hand off Catherine to concentrate on breathing through them while the nurse said, "Yeah, the cramps are way worse with the second kid." Nope, these were way worse. Not to mention, on top of all that, I just felt like shit. Tired, lethargic, and desperately wanting to find a way to occupy my children with some electronic so I could catch a few hours of sleep (haha, yeah right, like that would EVER happen).
Advil does't recommend taking more than 6 pills in a 24 hour period. But Advil isn't a breastfeeding woman, 7.5 months post-partum. I absolutely took 12 pills in a 24 hour period, and that still didn't help. What's even more awesome is that, being the good wife I am, I told Eric I would take the kids yesterday so he could watch his bowl games. What a mistake. Sometimes, I wish I could call in sick to parenting. Oh well, we're on the mend. Hopefully. Only now, I know this bitch will be back in less than a month, and I'm not looking forward to it. At all. I wonder if they make anything stronger than Advil? Maybe Vodka?
So there you have it. My life, in a nutshell. It did not contain any stories of debauchery. No shenanigans of any type. And that's exactly the way I want it.
God bless this life. Poop, boobs, and periods included.
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