"Life's Tough. Get a Helmet"

Catherine's life up until this point has been everything that James' life up until this point wasn't.

We had severe constipation issues from the beginning, which lead to her not eating. This lack of nutrition caused her not to grow, which lead us to supplement with formula for a week, which we found out caused her some pretty horrific acid reflux. During this week of horrific reflux, we saw a gastroenterologist who told us that our daughter was probably allergic to dairy, soy and eggs, so I should stop breastfeeding and supplement with $50 cans of formula that wouldn't even last us a week. So instead, I cut that out of my diet.

And yet, our constipation issues plagued us. We have been back and forth to doctors, and it seems like I always have something to add to my list of things to "try," and once that stops working, it's on to the next. It's a constant guessing game, and while we're at it, Catherine is throwing a fit every two seconds. When she's not smiling and cooing and being adorable.

So her lack of growth caused a lack of growth in her muscles, which lead to them not developing very well. This lead to Catherine still not rolling over by the age of 6 months. Sitting up seems like a very distant possibility, although we're getting there, and overall, she is tiny for her age. Sometimes, it feels like she's more like 4 months rather than almost 8.

Which leads us to this point. Being on her back constantly has lead to a flat head. And not just a flat head, but her skull is starting to come out on the sides, which is pushing her ears down. This is causing her to, in all honesty, look kind of funny.

So we had a consult for a helmet, and by God, she was right in the middle of the pack. Not at the severe point, but to the point that if she continues to grow, her skull, and possibly her face will become more misshapen.

Well, then, we'll just get the helmet, right?

Nope. Because our insurance says that it's cosmetic. The only insurance that covers it is Title XIX and to be honest, not only do we not qualify, but we wouldn't want to go that route anyway. We're not that type of people.

And how much does this helmet, with just a few months of physical therapy cost?

$3000.

I was smart enough to take out $1000 in flex since I knew we were going to have a newborn. Tomorrow, I will call and make sure that our flex covers it. But that still leaves $2000.

We have $2000. But how sure are we that a helmet is even going to work? I have read horror stories of children and parents who have done just this, and it has happened to them. The helmet didn't work, and of course, the child looks even worse than when they began. A new study just came out saying that in all reality, a helmet only works 33% of the time.

So I have been researching craniosacral therapy, which simply involves visiting a chiropractor who works with them to reshape their head using "gentle pressure and sculpting techniques." But do I want another human pressing on my babies skull every day? And what type of time am I going to have to take off of work for that? Will I always be able to slip out a few minutes early to make sure that her head becomes perfectly round? But yet, insurance will pay for chiropractic visits. All of them.

And who says that will work? What will be better in the long run? The helmet or the therapy? Or neither?

I am at a loss. You want to do everything that you can for your child, no matter what the cost. But at the same time, you also don't want to choose to do something that is actually going to make things worse. I want to best for my children, and by God, I want Catherine to grow up without ears that are crooked, or an eye that is lower than the other, or, what this is all about, a flat head.

So lots of decision-making going on in this house. I always ask myself in the classroom - "What is the best decision for my students?" So here, I need to simply ask myself, what's the best decision for Catherine? A helmet that she wears for 23 hours a day? Or therapy that she goes to several times a week? Or neither?

I'm a black and white girl, and usually can make decisions about anything fairly rapidly without any regrets. But this is a whole new ball game. I am always confident in any other decisions, but when it comes to something that I don't know is actually going to work, I can't really decide.

So I guess I'll wait for some sign that tells me what the right thing to do is. I just hope it's not the wrong thing once I choose.