The Cardinal

I love having the windows open. Absolutely LOVE having the windows open. You will find that I will suffer through 85 degree heat in our house if that means that I can leave the windows open.

I will open the windows if it's 60 degrees out and Spring is approaching, even if it means that I have to leave the heat on (don't tell your dad).

When we lived in an upstairs duplex while I was in college (and your dad and I were living together before we were married - gasp), I put our bed directly underneath our bedroom windows. When I would wake up to rain, I would lay in bed for as long as possible and listen to it. When it was sunny, I would lay in bed as long as possible and watch the birds in the giant oak tree directly outside our window. When it was cloudy and cold, I would burrow under the covers and listen to the cars drive by and the wind blow through the trees. I loved that bedroom.

In our house, your dad won't let me put the bed under the windows, but that doesn't mean that I don't love having them open. I made sure that I slept on the side of the bed closest to the windows. I am pretty sure we have an overabundance of comforters for the sole fact that I love sleeping with the windows open, even when it's 45 degrees.

I have finally figured out that I just love the sound of the outdoors. I love being outside. I played outside all the time when I was younger. Went to the pool every day. Actually enjoyed mowing the lawn - although when I got older, it was more of an excuse to be outside for 2 hours getting a tan.

Rural Iowa Summers were the best times of my life. Running around our huge lawn, catching fireflies, having bonfires, hanging with friends, no coats. I love the outdoors in Spring, Summer and Fall. So I want to bring as much of the outdoors inside as possible.

I want to instill this in you as well. I didn't think much of it, but once you were born, I wanted to keep the windows open as much as possible. First and foremost because I just love walking into a room where the windows are OPEN. It just feels like you're outside. Secondly, I didn't want you to be allergic to all things dust related because you're never exposed to it.

So I left the windows open. The day you turned a month old, I walked into your room to feed you and there was a cardinal sitting on the branch directly outside your window. I just remember it being so bright red and LOUD. And it was right there! Again, just reaffirming why I love having the windows open.

I fed you and walked back into my bedroom and there was the cardinal again. I had been having some doubts about my parenting, and wasn't quite sure if I was doing things right. I just felt as though this cardinal was more than just a cardinal, but it might just be my dad telling me it was all right. I never wrote about that cardinal again, but it stayed all summer and chirped and danced and hopped through our back yard. Kinnick tried with all his might to get it, but every time, the Cardinal would allude our poor cat.

Each time he showed up, it was when I was doubting my parenting. Was I doing things right for James? Should I take this new job to have summers off with my son? Should I be a full time mommy? So many things that I would question and every time, that cardinal would show up.

I would always think it was my dad, showing up in some way, not to necessarily guide me to the right answer, but to just get my MIND off of things! He was always good at doing that, and there it was. I would start doubting myself, the cardinal would show up, distract me and before I knew it, I was past whatever was bothering me.

Fast-forward to Christmas. Eric and I decorated our door with two wreaths - one that wraps around the door frame and another, traditional circle wreath that we hung on the light. True to only your good-ole parents, we forgot about the circular wreath and it's still there as I write this. But there's a reason.

One night, we heard one of the stray cats that roams our neighborhood outside meowing. At first, we thought it was there for Kinnick, as they love to romp and play and pick on each other. Probably more the latter than the former... but then the cat jumped up and off our door straight at our light! It was kind of weird, but we didn't think much of it.

Until Eric came home late from work that next week. He said he was getting sick of birds being in that wreath, dive-bombing him every time he came home from work. I laughed and didn't think much of it until James was being fussy one day.

I had no idea what was wrong with him. No new teeth, no runny nose, no fever, fed, bathed and changed. He just seemed really unhappy, and I was getting really frustrated. What on earth did I need to do for this child? Why can't we communicate???

I picked him up and walked him around, stopping by the door so James could look out the window. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry as I looked at the wreath and saw not one or two, but three juvenile cardinals, stashed in that wreath.

We watched them fly to the ground, grab sticks, and then fly back. We watched them dance, hop, and chirp at each other. I could not believe it. I bet we stood there for 10 minutes.

Although our window is different types of glass, I know James saw them as he started laughing and watching them. It was fascinating to see something I didn't think I would see again, multiplied by three. We just stood there, staring. It was an amazing sight.

Needless to say, I cannot wait to watch these Cardinals with James all Spring and Summer. I cannot wait to take him outside to do it. I can't wait to keep the windows open, with hopes that these cardinals will land right on the branch outside his window. I can't wait until their chirping wakes him up in the morning. I can't wait until he becomes fascinated with them as much as I am.