Walking on Sunshine

Before I begin this post, I want to say that on this day, Wednesday, October 8, I am not at work. Because Friday night, Catherine hardly slept. Saturday, Catherine took about an hour and a half nap. Eric and I got in late Saturday night and Sunday was the same with Catherine, with James also still getting up at 7:30. The plan was for Eric's mom to take James and Eric out to brunch so Catherine I could get some sleep, since we had been up since 5:30, no dice. She cried for 2 1/2 hours while they were out and about. When they arrived back about 1:00, I was in tears. Sunday night was a lot of crying from Catherine and a ton of crankiness from an overtired little boy. Sunday night was filled with fitful sleep, getting up several times with Catherine, who didn't seem to stop crying. EVER. Monday night was worse, since we figured out all the lack of sleep was thanks to constipation. Monday night was The Night of Marathon Pooping. Finally by 9:00, both she and I were exhausted. I passed out about 10, only to wake 5 hours later to a crying baby. I passed the buck to Eric since I was going to be gone all day and all night at an honor choir Tuesday. I got home last night and could barely keep my eyes open. This morning was the same. Up from 3 a.m. to 5 a.m. I was going to try and power through my day today after my secondary wake-up time at 6:15, but I began to cry. I am so. Fucking. Tired. And I knew I was going to be nothing for my students today, nor for my kids after I exhausted myself at school. If there is one thing I have learned in life, it's that I need to take care of number one. So that's what I am doing. Getting some much needed sleep, and relaxing. Last week, my milk supply plummeted, and I was having to pump 5 times a day just to get enough for two 5 oz. bottles at daycare. Yesterday and Monday were much of the same. Today? I just pumped 7 oz. in my first pump of the day. I'd say that's quite a bit more than the 3 oz. I was pumping in my first pump at school!

So I woke up, pumped, and am laying in bed, actually relaxed. I am still exhausted and ready to go back to sleep, but for now, I am enjoying my day with no screaming baby and no toddler trying to cast spells on me.

In relaxing, I read my cousins blog. She was nominated for the sunshine award and I really liked the questions she came up with. I will be honest, I miss filling out my weekly pregnancy survey, so these questions were right up my alley!

1. For purely selfish reasons, what is your favorite go-to dinner dish? I've long since run out of new, easy, good recipes, and looking to add to our weekly staple rotation!

Well, look no further! My go-to dish is fucking pizzzzaaaaaaa! The kind that I don't have to make. Doesn't really matter from where.

2. When someone asks for a book recommendation, what is the one book you always suggest?

Books? I haven't read since before Catherine was born. Ugh. I have a friend who wrote and published a book that I would like to read, but haven't gotten around to it.

3. Name a talent you have that others probably don't know about.

Wow. Maybe I should have thought about this a little more before I started answering questions.

4. Sunsets or sunrises? 

Sunrises! They signal the start of a beautiful day.

5. The best way to unwind after a long day is…

Playing with my kiddos, no joke. Sometimes my kids are the reason I had a long day, but in all seriousness, there is just something about being silly with my kiddos that relieves a lot of stress. I love chasing James around the house. Or throwing a ball around with him - and yes, we do throw balls in this house. I am not going to trade my beautiful Mikasa vase we got for our wedding for a lifetime of childhood silliness a little boy's mama!

6. Any guilty pleasures?

Since I can't have dairy, soy or egg, I have, in fact discovered Lays potato chips. Made with Corn oil, they are on the "yes" list and I buy the Party Size every time I go grocery shopping. I haven't eaten them in years, but damn are they good!

7. What is a character trait you hope people associate with you?

Integrity. It's so important to me that I do what I say I am going to do.

8. Favorite words to live by? 

The homily at our wedding was simply a quote by Winston Churchill, which was, "Never give up. Never, never, never give up." I look back on that quote about every day. Especially during some really dark times in my life and marriage.

9. If you could go to dinner with any one person (alive or deceased) who would it be, and what are two questions you would be sure to ask them?

My dad. And I would only ask him one, which has plagued me since he died. "On the day that you died, did you have a good day?" For some reason it's so important to me to know if he was able to have a few laughs, that he was wearing a smile on his face, that he had a good talk and jokes with his friends. And that question might lead to more, but that's the number one thing I will ask him when I see him again.

10. The last concert you attended that you insist others must see, too.

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Or Slipknot. Or Green Day. I loved Tool and Weezer too. This is probably a bad question - I have seen way too many bands in concert. Incubus was excellent as well. Blues Traveler!

11. Your favorite blog post - be it yours, or a post written by someone else.

Either the one about PTSD, where I finally laid it out on the table and talked about my bright orange post-it notes, or what was really going on in my head. Or the one about misdialing my dad's old cell phone. Selfish, since they are both mine, but to write both those out and see the hold I was able to release on my mind told me I was finally healing.

I hope all that read this go on and have a happy, sunshiney day!