The ShitShow: An Update

There is honestly only one word that describes this current life I am living, and it is "shitshow." It's not necessarily a negative word, but rather a word that is synonymous with "hurricane." There are the outskirts where it is windy, and it rains, and there is damage that occurs. And then you reach the eye of the storm, where it is calm and beautiful and although damage is all around you, you can breathe a little bit. Then before you know it, the rest of the storm hits. It's a constant ebb and flow of craziness. Would I trade this life for any other? Absolutely not. Would I trade a few hours for a snooze on the beach and a martini? YES.

There are so many things to update about, so I'll begin with the most pressing, uplifting, and really really beautiful.

Catherine
Here we are, only about a month and a half off of the allergy medicine that really seemed to wreak havoc on Catherine's body and mind, and she is saying two syllable words. Two syllable words. Things happen so quickly with babies, like crawling to pulling up to standing to cruising to walking. But words are slower. Not so for this girl. She has taken off. We hear Christy, puppy, baby, Drew, James, Daddy, Mom, cat, duck, quack-quack, ball, football, mine, more, bye-bye and a myriad of others. It's still very apparent that there are some really large learning gaps, however, which we are working on. She can say several words, but does not understand the meaning of "in" "behind" etc. However, she knows up and down, and signs those really well. She can say all the names at daycare, and although we have to listen very carefully, it's very apparent that she is communicating quite well for having the communication skills of a 6-9 month old a month and a half ago. I would say we are at the 12-18 month old mark now, which is exciting. We are still working on transitioning here out of the Early Intervention Program with the AEA and going to an IEP, which will still allow her to get the help she needs, just in a different capacity. She will then have an IEP when she goes to school, if she doesn't successfully test out when she finally begins school.

Beyond her speech, we have seen a huge difference in her behavior. She is more helpful, wants to play, is less aggressive and overall, much happier. Sometimes, she is absolute pure joy. She makes us laugh, loves playing with James and Drew, and is starting to really understand what we say to her and what is going on.

Since we have taken Catherine off her medicine, I have taken a break from researching what is going on with her, but I do believe there are still some major sensitivities she has, including a lot of food, artificial food dyes, and too much sugar. Of course, no one wants to give their kid "too much sugar" (at least I would hope...), but in Catherine's case, something as simple as a Dum-Dum makes her go nuts. She won't sleep most of the night, and is a bear for a couple of days. Same for when she has any artificial food dyes, mostly Red 40. Blue 1 and Yellow 5 don't seem to have such an effect on her, but Red 40 turns her into a psycho. Seems like a rude way to put it, but seriously, nothing except an exorcism seems appropriate when she has Red 40. So we are very careful to watch her food intake. She also seems to have developed a cross-reaction to grapes (and raisins). I don't think that necessarily means it just showed up, but maybe it was masked by some of the greater symptoms she was showing when on the medicine. So we have cut out grapes and raisins as well. Doesn't leave much for her to eat, but we are managing.

Essential Oils
Beyond that, I have started her on essential oils. Considering most anti-biotics are colored, and most of the anti-biotics we have tried in the past month have turned her into a psycho, I have decided to try and treat things naturally. I have never been a "granola mom" but I was turned onto more homeopathic methods when Drew (and I) got thrush, and I was able to get rid of it in three days with grapefruit seed extract and coconut oil. Whereas the nystantin took WEEKS and a lot of moms I talked to said it never really helped. Our pediatrician is on board with it, for the most part, and agrees that anything that works for her (and us) is a good plan. So far, I think I have treated a yeast infection with it only, but I do diffuse lavender in her room, which is supposed to be calming, and I can tell a difference. I still don't consider myself a granola mom, but I do think that natural isn't necessarily a bad thing.

James
Currently, James is passed out on the couch with a nasty respiratory infection. I have been treating that with essential oils which has helped his fever and cough, but honestly I think he just needs rest. But he LOVES school and is so smart! At conferences, Miss Annon, his teacher, said he is well beyond what he needs to know for Kindergarten. I am attempting to make the decision on whether I want James to go Bondurant or to stay at SEP. I am leaning more toward Bondurant as that is where I work and I would like to take him to and from work with me, but we will see. The only thing keeping me at SEP is that he has made friends there.

I guess we will see what Eric and I decide later.

Drew
You turned 9 months old!!! And you are a bruiser, clocking in at 21 pounds and 28 inches. I decided about three weeks ago that I was going to stop breastfeeding. To be honest, it was very personal for me and I will remember the last time I nursed you, but I AM SO GLAD TO BE DONE. Holy hell, what a lot of work it is and I quit because I wanted to. I knew I could keep going, but I was tired, you were getting a ton of teeth, I was sore a lot, and I was just ready to not have to pump at work. Eric was really supportive, as usual, and the day I made my decision came with no regrets. It was glorious and a pretty easy transition! Goodbye nursing tanks! I wish I could say goodbye to my nursing bras, but I still need them as my boobs have decided not to go anywhere. Even three (or four) weeks later... weird.

You are crawling all over the place, and per my children, you are ruining several onesies as you are an army crawler. You get up on your hands and knees, but you only do that to get a better look at what's on he window seat, hearth, or platform to our stairs. You are FAST at army crawling too! You palm your bottle (full of glorious formula!) and have started refusing any baby food. It's straight up human food for you. Hot dogs, corn, french fries, fruit etc. I thought you might be allergic to some fruit like Catherine, but I think your tummy just wasn't ready for it. Now you seem to do fine with it. You still wake up once every night, drink 8 ounces and then fall back to sleep, but it's so much easier as I can just make you a bottle before bed and when you wake up, hand it to you.

You have hit a triple whammy, right along with James, as you have a double ear infection, you are teething, have some sort of nasty sinus infection, and a boil on your butt (so gross!!!!). BUT you are still a happy, smiley baby, just with snot all over your face and drool on your clothes. It's amazing how incredibly happy you are. You love playing with Catherine or James, and now that Catherine doesn't beat the shit out of you, you especially love following her around. You can army crawl laps around the house, following a ball that you "throw" until you fall asleep in your spot. I love watching you, and miss the cuddles we had during our nursing sessions, but like I have said before, I am ready to be done with this part of my life. I think that's what it all came down to when I decided to stop nursing, in that I was just READY TO BE DONE. I am already gearing up for my garage sale in June, and this time I am actually positive I will not be pregnant while I am selling all my baby stuff. Even though it is physically impossible thanks to Eric's surgery in March, I am going to pee on a stick just in case. The man does have 56+ first cousins, so it's not out of the realm of possibility.

Every time I play a wedding (as we're Catholic, so I do so for our church a lot), I chuckle to myself when the priest asks if the couple will accept children lovingly from God. We sure accepted you, and you are a miracle. You make our family crazier, but you make it so much more complete than I thought you could.

This crazy life is mine, these crazy children are mine, and through the ups and downs, I remember that I am blessed beyond measure.

I love you, my sweet, sweet babies.