20 Weeks!

What a week it has been, starting with the fact that...

YOU'RE A GIRL! I couldn't be more surprised if I "woke up with my head sewn to the carpet."

In talking with my brother last night, he said my sister-in-law flipped when she found out it was a girl. I replied with, "That's good, because I cried for two hours."

And I did. It was beyond shocking. And I have no idea why.

But after I've let the shock wear off, walked through half a dozen infant girls' aisles in  Younkers, JcPenney and Kohl's, I finally figured it out.

I don't know the second thing about girls. But the first thing I know is that they can be cruel. Cruel. Hateful. Hurtful. Jealous. Unkind.

Maybe that's the reason I hung out with the potheads and the boys so much in high school? Who knows. But I was at the receiving end of some of those hateful, hurtful things, and I couldn't be a more kind person. It taught me a lot, but going through it was terrible.

Eric and I had a long talk about it on the way home from our family Christmas's this morning, and he made a good point. All I have reference for is girls raised by other people. Not girls raised by us.

Excellent point. So I guess we raise her to be kind, resilient, and accepting. Which we will. I feel a lot better about those girly clothes sitting in our little girls' closet now.

In other news, it's Christmas, and I'm excited to be having a little girl. Onward to the update!

How far along? 20 weeks! And like I told Eric today, only 5 more months left of this pregnancy... I guess you could say at this point, the glass is half full...
Maternity clothes? Everything I wear is now maternity. Although regular still fit (hooray!) my abdomen is getting much harder, and it hurts when I sit down. So I try to get by with as much maternity stuff as possible. Which is pretty much 99% of the time!
Weight gain? No, because I'm sick. Again. Yes, that's right. A sinus infection has struck, causing a postnasal drip that is giving me a sore throat. Which makes it hard to enjoy any kind of food. Ugh...
Stretch marks? None! Wahoo!
Best moment this week? There were so, so many of them. Watching James opening gifts from family, our ultrasound appointment, the fact that school was cancelled on Friday due to ice, spending time with my mom, which I haven't in a long time, moving the new crib into our little girls room! But the one that takes the cake was probably walking out of Christmas Eve service last night with my family to a beautiful, fluffy snowfall. It was lovely.
Miss anything? Not feeling shiity?
Movement? Tons, and pretty consistently. Every night around 9:30 and every morning around 6:30 she's bumping away in there. And Eric got to feel her last night, on Christmas Eve.
Food cravings? Nope. Just food.
Anything make you queasy or sick? My mom made pasta for dinner one night this week and it made me sick to my stomach just looking at it. Normally, I'm a big pasta fan, but holy smokes, this was terrible. I had to get up and leave the table. Something about it just struck a no good, very bad chord with me.
Labor signs? No!
Symptoms? Probably TMI, but holy smokes my boobs are sensitive. James is climbing on anything and everything, and I get the brunt of that a lot. Today, he "landed" on my right boob and I thought it was going to pop like a balloon. I don't remember them being this sensitive when I was pregnant with James!
Belly button in or out? IN!
Linea nigra? Nothing.
Wedding ring on or off? On!
Happy or moody?  Definitely happy this week. Very nostalgic and I thought about my dad a lot. It didn't make me sad, necessarily, as I've come to accept (finally) that he's not here, but just nostalgic. I remembered a lot of fun Christmas memories with him this year, and made me wish he were here to create more with James.
Looking forward to: This week of rest and relaxation. Christmas break 2010/2011 was the same time I made all of James' nursery decor. This year, I'm hoping that I will be able to do the same for Baby Girl Engels. Cant wait to go and buy the paint (for the paintings... not the walls! Screw that, we already painted that room a long time ago!) and the flowers and lace and pearls. Can't wait to see what this little girls room will look like! And buying the crib sheets. I've decided I'm not going to get a bedding set, just some sheets. AND getting all the after-Christmas deals at Target tomorrow. Call me a nerd, but I love me a good deal. Lots to look forward to this week! :)

19 Weeks and 3 Words!

Before I get to my 19 week update, I have a few things to say.

First and foremost, I think this household is finally, finally healthy again. Minus James' snotty nose, which I think is a pretty gross sinus infection. But that's minimal considering what we've been dealing with. I'm still coughing, and coughing up the nasties, but I am actually feeling better. Cue the Hallelujah Chorus.

Secondly, James had his 18 month update... at 19 months. No big deal, bus since Eric doesn't answer to a boss, he's usually the one who takes off early and takes James to the appointments.

Eric and James got home from their appointment as I got home from school, and I was able to look at his chart they always include. Size 7 shoe, 30" tall, 34 pounds. Eric said they couldn't get a good measurement of him standing on the scale, so they laid him on the table. The same table where they measured him the first days of his life, and told us he had shrunk 2 inches. So needless to say, I was skeptical.

Then he mentioned the doctor was concerned because James should be saying at least 15 words. I laughed and said, "He does!" Well, Eric tells me that the answer he gave the doctor when she asked how many words James says was three. Three words. Then Eric looks at me and says, "Yeah, mom, dad and ball."

Ok... how about dog, cat, light off, light on, I don't know, Ella, up, down, I want up, milk, cup and all the others I can't think of off the top of my head! As the night wore on and James spoke, I just counted the words I could make. I ended with 21. Maybe next time, I'll be taking James to the doctor.... :)

How far along? 19 weeks! Almost halfway there!
Maternity clothes? Oh my, yes. Leggings, leggings and more leggings. Also, the pair of black jeans that I'm a big fan of. I'm still able to wear some of my longer pre-pregnancy sweaters, but otherwise, it's all maternity clothes!
Weight gain? Nope, don't think so! Everything is still pretty loose!
Stretch marks? No. let's hope it stays this way!
Best moment this week? This past weekend, we went Christmas shopping as a family. It was so much fun, and we had such a good time. Eric hates shopping, so the fact that he came with was a miracle.
Miss anything? My fricken brain. Baby brain sucks. Yesterday, I lost my school keys. I had no idea where they had gone. Luckily, a quick search of my car found them, but I really did not remember putting them there. It's terrible. I also miss being able to talk normal. With baby brain, I had trouble thinking of words quickly enough, or finding the verbage to explain myself. It's not fun.
Movement? Yes, lots! It's been fun and I'm starting to feel them on the outside. I can't wait for Eric to be able to feel them as well!
Food cravings? Not really. Just food in general.
Anything make you queasy or sick? Too much food that isn't good for you. I was so tired after our concert Monday night, on Tuesday I tried drinking two cans of Mountain Dew. I got sick halfway through the second. Just a gross feeling in the pit of your stomach. With all the sweets that have been in the teacher's lounge lately, combined with the fact that I'm so tired, doesn't make me a very chipper person.
Labor signs? No, thank goodness!
Symptoms? Is not being able to articulate your thoughts a symptom. Oh yes, it's called baby brain.
Belly button in or out? IN!
Linea nigra? Nothing. I wonder if this time around it won't be showing up?
Wedding ring on or off? On!
Happy or moody?  Generally happy and excited for...
Looking forward to: TOMORROW! We find out if we're having a little boy or girl! Can't wait!

18 Weeks!

Hahahahaha.... hahahahahaahahaha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

That's me, laughing at the hope that this past week was going to be better. Don't worry, it was, exponentially...

Until Eric got the flu on Sunday night. Hahahahahahahahahahaha. And then James woke up every hour, on the hour, crying. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. And since Eric didn't feel well, I got to be the one to go and console him. Every. Hour.

Not to mention, this was an extraordinarily busy week for me and I was going to have to hit the ground running on Monday. And hit the ground running, I did. On minimal sleep.

Monday night was better - James slept through the night and Eric was feeling better, but not by much. Tuesday night was even better and by God, even though I'm still hacking away with this f-ing cough, I am coughing much more stuff up and feeling better about things. THANK GOD. Eric is feeling better, I have more energy, and James seems to be on the mend. Although he has a terribly runny nose and seems to be really stuffed up. Nothing a little saline spray and boogie wipes can't help! Let's hope we have turned a corner!


How far along? 18 weeks!
Maternity clothes? Yep, the belly definitely popped and that's all I have been wearing is maternity clothes. Gone are my regular clothes! Except my pre-preggers jeans. Somehow, those are still fitting...
Weight gain? Not that I know of. We own a scale, but I don't step on it. Ever. In fact, I think it's covered by a piece of scrap carpeting we threw to the side when placing our freezer in the back corner of our closet. I'm sure there will be some since I"m feeling better and I have my appetite back.
Stretch marks? No. I love my Bath and Body Works lotions!
Best moment this week? On Sunday, it snowed. All day. It was so pretty and I took James out for a drive in it. It was very peaceful - just me, my little man, and my little bean.
Miss anything? Honestly, I miss the feeling of being pregnant without any other kids. With James, I could sit on the couch when I got home and put my feet up. Now, I have a toddler I chase around, which makes me even more tired. Would I change it for the world? No. But I miss being able to relax my tired, pregnant body any time I want.
Movement? Yes, lots of pokes and prods and little kicks here and there. I didn't feel them so much today, but I did feel a lot of fluttering. With our luck, Baby Engels probably got the flu...
Food cravings? More like word-triggered cravings. I was watching TV the other night, and something about apple pies came on. All I could think about was how good a warm apple pie would be at that moment. Someone else mentioned french silk pie the other day and my mouth started watering. Hilarious!
Anything make you queasy or sick? No, not recently. Thank God. I'm done with that for now.
Labor signs? No, thank goodness!
Symptoms? Well... not really. Just being generally tired at the end of the day.
Belly button in or out? IN!
Linea nigra? Still nothing. So weird. I can't remember when it showed up with my last pregnancy, but it seems weird that it's not there yet...
Wedding ring on or off? On!
Happy or moody?  Generally happy and concerned for my husband's well-being. He's never sick. Ever. So when he actually is, I know it's pretty serious. We're talking about a man who walked around with a torn meniscus for two years. And the same man who broke his hand, and never went to physical therapy. Just did it on his own. Oh, and used said broken hand to work, even though he wasn't supposed to. If Eric is down for the count, he's down for awhile.
Looking forward to: DECEMBER 19TH!!!!! One short week away and we'll find out what our little bean is! And if it's a girl, that will be karma at it's finest...

19 Months!

Somehow, after two tumbles down the stairs, you have made it to 19 months. Without any broken bones, black eyes, or major injuries.

Tonight, we watched you run around the house in circles until it was time to go to bed. And even then, you still had a ton of energy. But when you crash, you crash, which is awesome.

We have been dealing with a cold for almost a month, and a cough for much longer. It's gotten better, then gotten worse, then gotten better. We had our first stint with the stomach flu, which was.... interesting. But mom-mode kicked in and even at 3 a.m., I didn't mind getting back up to wash more sheets.

You are TALKING so much! My goodness! We're starting to hear more and more "full" sentences. When I asked you where the Christmas Tree remote was (to turn on our lights) you said, "I don't know" clear as day! Then all day, I asked you where the remote was (you like to run around with it and then drop it somewhere), you kept saying "I don't know!" It's adorable and we love hearing it! You ask "Where'd it go?" if you throw something behind the couch, or Kinnick makes a beeline out of the room because he sees you're in it! You said to me, "I want up" tonight with yours arms raised so I would lift you and set you on the counter. And of course, you say, "lights off" or "lights on" depending on if they're off or on! And you talk talk talk all the time, but I can hardly understand what you are saying. It's amazing to me all the things that I can identify that come out of your mouth though! We can have actual conversations and you're starting to really understand everything we say.

You are such a helper, oh my goodness. If I didn't know better than to look a gift horse in the mouth, I would say it's slightly on the annoying side. You help me unload the dishwasher and put all the silverware and pots away. You watch as we fill up your humidifier every night and then carry it yourself to your room. I don't know how your little body carries something that weighs more than a carton of milk, but you manage. You get your milk out the fridge for me to fill your sippy cup and you put it back. You always, and I am talking 99% of the time, put your toys, or whatever else you've gotten out, away. And if you don't, it's because I forgot to ask you to do it.

We braved putting ornaments on the tree, even though everyone told us not to with a toddler, and taught you to "touch nice." And you do, if you do at all. Tonight, you took a present out from under the tree and I asked you to put it back. You did, after you showed it to me, in the exact same spot. Maybe I should stop, because like I said, I probably shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. It's just so amazing to me.

I am also going to quickly mention that you throw things away. In the trash. And i'ts awesome. Anything I ask you to throw away, you do, with glee. Usually with some sort of giggle and/or squeal. It's awesome. Diapers, kleenexes, wrappers, whatever. When we ask you to give us something, you do. It's amazing. I hope the terrible twos NEVER hit!

I took you to the doctor a couple of weeks ago, and you were approximately 34 inches and 32 pounds with your little snow boots on. So it will be interesting to see what you actually are next week at your appointment. You're a big boy, I can tell you that much!

You love love love riding in the car! On Sunday, when it was snowing all day and your daddy was snowblowing the driveway, we took his big truck out to fill up with gas and make and emergency diaper wipes/diaper run (oops!) And we just drove around, through the falling snow, somehow through the Culver's drive-thru to grab a peanut butter malt (for Baby Engels, of course), which we drove around and shared. It was an awesome moment and I loved it!

That's all. Each age seems to be my favorite age, but you are really starting to blossom into my little pal. My little man, who loves to cuddle with his mama, play with his daddy, read books, eat dinner like a big boy off a plate and with silverware and god forbid we give you anything different than what we eat.

I hate dropping you off at daycare in the mornings, but I love picking you up. Always the highlight of my day. :) I love you little man.

17 Weeks!

I thought last week was trying. Hahahahahahahahahaha...

First, I had to get through the holidays. And not just any holiday. But holidays with Eric's family. Don't get me wrong, I love the holidays, and I love Eric's family, but those are three indecisive boys with a very indecisive mother and for this agenda-driven woman, it drives me absolutely batty.

But, we made it through, unscathed and with a pretty enjoyable time.

I was so excited to get home, have a relaxing Sunday, and SLEEP on Saturday night. But James had other plans.

About midnight, he began throwing up. Yep, the stomach bug hit our little man. And it was messy. Eric and I finally got to sleep about 4 a.m. and on Sunday, we were pretty much zombies.

But I am not a nap person, and Eric had to work and get things done, so walking around like a zombie it was.

Luckily, James slept all of Sunday. But then Monday hit. I was fine at school and looking cute in one of my new maternity outfits! And then I started getting nauseous. At first, I thought it was maybe a touch of that second-trimester nausea that hits pregnant women every once in awhile. So I went and laid down in the nurse's office.

I felt a little better after about 10 minutes, so I went back to class.

Until a little while later, I had to go back to the nurse's office. I only had a couple hours of school left, teaching lessons, so I knew I had to push through. Until my principal saw me and popped his head in.

"Go home."

Sweet music to my ears. I got up and headed out and as soon as I got home, the stomach cramps started. About 4:00, I started puking like I was back in my freshman year at ISU. And then the shits started. Oh my god.

At one point, I was shitting in the toilet and puking in a trash can in front of me. At another point, I coughed (because yes, people, I still have a cough) and had to run to the bathroom so the puke coming out my nose could make it somewhere. Needless to say, there are quite a few things in our bathroom that have yet to be cleaned...

Monday night was like a delirium. I remember a couple of times waking up to the bathroom light on. Once I woke up and it was off, but our closet light was on. At one point, I woke up with my arm hanging off my bed and drool running down the side of my face.

Good thing my husband married me for my sense of humor.

Somewhere in there, I was able to call in sick for the next day. When I awoke the next morning after puking until about 4:00 a.m., I had a text message from a co-worker. It asked, "Do you have sub plans."

I think I text something back like, "Idk. Just give them study hall." I think that's what happened.

I had an OB appointment later in the afternoon, so after shitting and puking some more, I headed there. I hadn't done either in a few hours, and I could feel the stomach cramps beginning to subside, so I wasn't too worried about it. But I was so weak.

The OB appointment was less than exciting, but I could tell she was worried about me. I was worried about me too. I cried through the entire appointment until the end, when she suggested I go get some fluids.

But how the hell was I supposed to do that when I had to take care of James that night when Eric needed to work late?

Luckily, our babysitter stepped in when I went to pick him up from daycare and took care of him. Thank the Lord for small favors. I went to urgent care, since the ER would cost me a pretty penny.

Urgent Care was packed. I was miserable, hadn't showered, brushed my teeth, hair, taken off make-up from the previous day, or really changed clothes. I'm positive I had puke somewhere on my person.

I waited an hour for them to tell me they had run out of IV Fluid bags and they were sending me to Ankeny. Are you fucking serious? I wasn't about to drive another 20 minutes to sit for another hour to get fluids. So I just came home, had a little bit of soup, and went back to sleep.

Soup was the first thing that I had had in over 24 hours, and it did not sit well in my belly. The stomach cramps were back, and I was miserable until well after midnight. Again, I took a sick day and here we are. 17 weeks. Jesus, I hope this week is better.


How far along? 17 weeks!
Maternity clothes? Besides the sweats I have been in for the stomach flu, not too many. Just the regulars that I seem to be pulling out all the time.
Weight gain? This is where I was really concerned yesterday. When they weighed me at the doctor's office, I was at 7 pounds below my previous weight. Granted, I had had nothing to eat in 24 hours, but at the same time, 7 pounds is pretty significant weight loss for someone who is pregnant. I am also trying to stay more active, but I haven't seen the weight I saw at the doctor's office since I was so sick at Waukee. The OB looked at me and said, "You have been really sick, to have lost that much weight in such a short amount of time." But even watching my 7th and 8th grade concert, I noticed that I looked really trim, and at Thanksgiving, my (soon-to-be, I'm almost positive!) sister-in-law commented that I looked really good. But looking good and being mommy-rexic are two very different things, and I want to stay away from the latter.
Stretch marks? No. Still lotioning away!
Best moment this week? My OB appointment, even though I cried through the whole thing, especially when it took them forever to find the heartbeat (which was 164!). But at that appointment, we were able to schedule our ultrasound and we were able to get it before Christmas! Wahoo! So excited!!!
Miss anything? Feeling that second trimester spurt of energy. Oh, spurt of energy, where art thou?
Movement? About every night at 9:30 or so, Baby E starts making his or her movements. They are so much fun to feel!
Food cravings? Interestingly enough, last night, I had a craving for a Jimmy John's sandwich, even though I hadn't had anything to eat in over 24 hours. But that was the first thing I wanted, which I also knew, was going to be the first thing to take me back to the toilet should I have it. So I passed. But instead of the typical chicken noodle or tomato soup, I made Eric get me broccoli/cheese soup. Holy smokes. So good. I might go downstairs and make some more...
Anything make you queasy or sick? Hahahahahahaha...try the stomach flu!
Labor signs? No!
Symptoms? Between the puking, shitting, and generally feeling awful, I have no idea if I have second trimester pregnancy symptoms!
Belly button in or out? In!
Linea nigra? Still nothing yet. And tonight, I had a FLAT stomach. FLAT. Even after dinner. So I'm wondering when that will start to show. And i hope I don't get stretch marks along with it!
Wedding ring on or off? On!
Happy or moody?  Moody, tired, sad, occasionally happy, but moreso, just sick. And sick of being sick.
Looking forward to: Finally decorating our Christmas tree, being able to be a good mom to James, and most importantly, the end of the semester, which means the anatomy ultrasound! December 19th, here we come!!!

One Last Thing:
As I was typing this, ERic was laying in bed next to me, reading it as I typed. He would critique me on things, tell me about others, and make sure that I made it out like he was not the absent father, leaving his sicker-than-sick wife at home with the child. In fact, quite the opposite. On Saturday night, Eric took James duty while I cleaned up mess after mess after mess that James left in his stomach-flu wake. Without any sleep on Sunday morning, Eric worked until the wee hours of Monday morning. He slept in, but still worked all afternoon, taking a break only to take care of James after daycare while I was heaving my guts out. He took James to daycare on Tuesday morning after only a few hours of sleep, worked all day and well into the night last night. Tonight, he finally got the job done and is just now getting out of the shower. To say he has been super dad, and super husband, is an understatement. I am grateful for him, and everything he did for me during the first trimester, and all that he has done for me while I've been so sick otherwise. I am truly a lucky girl. :)