25 Weeks and a comparison...

How far along? 25 weeks! This is the time that I started my first pregnancy blog, which I hope to copy and paste below. It will be interesting to see the comparisons.
Maternity clothes? Yes. Holy moses. Loving my leggings. I ordered hot pink maternity jeans off the internet last week and they came in the mail. Too big... because...
Weight gain? Hardly. I have gained three pounds since the last time I had an appointment. The doctor said I'm right where I should be, and "all belly" but at th same time, I thought, for sure, I was going to weigh a ton more. So now, I'm +3 pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight. That's what happens when you're sick for the first semester and into the second. So back to these awesome maternity pants I ordered - they are too big!!! I thought for sure they would be the right size, as they are a size up from the pants that are becoming to tight around the hips (ruh-roh...) but nope, they are gigantic. Maybe once I get "bigger" they will fit. And totally unrelated, because of my less-than-impressive weight gain, I bought chips and dip at the grocery store last night and stuffed my face with it tonight. Delicious...
Stretch marks? No, but the tummy is getting tighter!
Best moment this week? Being able to relax with my family...
Miss anything? Sleep. Sweet, sweet sleep. I guess all the bragging I did about how well I slept in my first pregnancy is coming back to haunt me. The past few nights, I've been up and wide awake at 3:30 a.m. And haven't gone back to sleep. But oddly enough I still have the same amount of energy. I'm sure this weekend I will crash!
Movement? Yep, you love bouncing around from about 8:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. and right away in the morning. It's lovely.
Food cravings? I about bought out Fareway in the canned fruit aisle. I piled as many cans of pineapple chunks as I possible could into my cart yesterday while grocery shopping. Every day, my mouth starts watering when I start thinking about cracking open that deliciousness in a can packed with 100% juice (concentrate...). But still. Don't care. Heaven.
Anything make you queasy or sick? Nope!
Labor signs? No - the doctor wagged her finger at me yesterday and told me that I need to slow down if I'm cramping so much. I laughed and asked her if she understood exactly what my job title was. It's not just teacher, it's guidance counselor, mother, babysitter, hand-holder and overall motivational life coach. I am always pulled in every which direction at any given time, and now is the busiest time of the year for people that do what I do. But she said to slow down so I'm going to take her seriously as the cramping could easily lead to pre-term labor. Awesome... tell that to my administrators that still don't have a long-term sub lined up, supportive parents who are thrilled that I'm "waiting until the end of the year" to have a baby, and most importantly, my students, who think that a few days after birth, I'm going to show up at graduation (I probably will...). So we'll see, I guess.
Symptoms? Pregnancy insomnia is wreaking havoc currently. Cramping happens more so than not. Bloody noses are a common occurrence. And I have a weird rash on my arm. Just about a quarter in diameter and it looks like dry, scaly skin. People keep asking me how I burned myself, so I just tell them I'm not sure instead of trying to explain I think it has something to do with my pregnancy.
Belly button in or out? In, but it sure wants to make it's way out!
Linea nigra? Nothing.
Wedding ring on or off? On!
Happy or moody? This week, very moody. I wonder if it has something to do with having a girl in my belly rather than a boy. With James, I felt like my hormones were pretty even keel for the most part, but with this pregnancy, it's terrible! I'm all over the map.
Looking forward to: This weekend, when I can hopefully catch up on SLEEP!

AND FOR THE COMPARISON...


Yes, I am going to do a pregnancy survey - probably for the rest of my pregnancy. I want to remember what it was like to grow with you, so although I'm starting early, I can't wait to go back and read this someday.

How far along? 25 weeks
Maternity clothes? I live in my David Bitton "Buffalo" jeans. They are so comfy! And my tank-tops from target! It's usually those two staples with a sweater or open cardigan. I have also been utilizing some of my dresses with leggings and riding boots!
Stretch marks? Nope! Thank goodness!
Sleep? YES! I have figured out that if I deflate our sleep number bed all the way, I am able to make a cocoon that conforms to my body and cradles me as I sleep. I have also realized I use that cradle to sleep on my back and slightly to the left. It's comfy!
Best moment this week? Getting rid of my cankles! The swelling was so terrible when I came back from Florida! I also got a lot of compliments while in Florida from my co-workers. How I was all belly and nothing else, you wouldn't even be able to tell I was pregnant except for the belly AND the greatest of all, I make the cutest pregnant lady. It also helped me to realize that I LOVE being pregnant!
Miss anything? My pre-pregnancy wardrobe! However, this is teaching me how unimportant having a huge wardrobe really is!
Movement? I have figured out that you move every day from about 9:00-11:00 depending on when I have my Mt. Dew, then from about 1:00-3:00 and again from 7:30-8:30. Sometimes, you wake me up in the morning with your little feet kicking me at about 6:00 a.m., but otherwise, you are on a pretty set schedule.
Food cravings? Oddly enough, I LOVE chips and dip (haha) but if I have too much, it makes me feel sick! Actually, any food that isn't very good for you - too much of it - makes me feel sick.
Anything make you queasy or sick? Nope!!!
Labor signs? None, but that's good because you'd be WAY too early!
Symptoms? Swelling, fatigue, overabundant joy. :)
Belly button in or out? It's in...but barely.
Linea nigra? A very faint line on a very stretched, smooth belly!
Wedding ring on or off? On!
Happy or moody? HAPPY!
Looking forward to: Your daddy finishing your changing table, and my Rockford baby shower on Feb. 18!!! Super excited!

24 Weeks!

It's been a good/bad week. Good, because I'm finally feeling better, but bad because just as I'm feeling better, I'm feeling worse in other ways. Again, I'll let the update do the talking...

How far along? 24 Weeks, and the tummy has popped. We aren't as good as we were with James in taking photos, but the second we're home from work, we're hanging out with James, and once he goes to bed, I'm too tired to pose for a camera.
Maternity clothes? Before I elaborate on my YES answer for this one, I put on my favorite preggo jeans a month ago, and they were HUGE on me. Which means one thing: I'm smaller than I was when I was pregnant with James at that time. But last week, I could feel my muscles, tendon, and most likely my pubic bone spreading, and low and behold when i put them on tonight, they fit much better. Great through the hips, but still big(ger) in the butt and thighs. But needless to say, I have been rocking the maternity leggings and dresses like nobody's business.
Weight gain? Definitely!
Stretch marks? Nope! Still lotioning every night!
Best moment this week? This past weekend, I was able to not only organize all of James' 12 and 18 month clothes into bins (whereas before, they were both in one bin, which was sitting in another bin, at the bottom of his closet, thrown in willy-nilly), and I vacated Baby Girl's closet and put all her stuff and clothes in. And got more things organized in her room. It's definitely not up to snuff yet, but we're getting there.
Miss anything? Being able to move quickly. And efficiently. And painlessly.
Movement? Yep, you're bouncing all over the place!
Food cravings? Pineapple. I eat a whole can every day. Not just a small can. A big one.
Anything make you queasy or sick? Pretty sure I'm over that part of this pregnancy!
Labor signs? No, but the cramping! It's terrible! I can't wait until that goes away (if it does!)
Symptoms? Nothing that's noticeable until after 1:00 p.m. And then, I hobble around like an old lady. I finally deduced today, it's because I am on my feet 4-5 hours every day, and not just on my feet, but all over the place. I bounce around my classroom, life my hands above my head to point things out on the board, run from behind the piano to in front of the piano, It's no wonder that by the time I'm done doing the bouncing around for the third time that day, which ends up being 1:00 p.m., my body is spent. And I'm only 6 months! I can't imagine what I'm going to be like in a couple more!
Belly button in or out? IN!
Linea nigra? Nothing.
Wedding ring on or off? On!
Happy or moody? Super happy and getting ready for Baby Girl. I'm finally excited to be having a girl and I can't wait until she's here!
Looking forward to: Another "polar vortex" has moved into the area and we're already at a 2-hour delay for tomorrow. I'm looking forward to them cancelling school due to the Wind Chill Warning that has been issued and having a day off that I don't have to make up at the end of the year as I will be on maternity leave! :)

23 Weeks!

I'll let my update do the talking...

How far along? 23 weeks and I am definitely, FINALLY showing for good. There's no going back now...
Maternity clothes? Yes, yes and yes. I'm almost always wearing leggings and dresses. Today, since it was warmer, I sported a dress and pantyhose (people still wear those?).
Weight gain? I'm sure!
Stretch marks? None thank God. I'm waiting for one to show up to begin a preggers meltdown.
Best moment this week? It was a short work week thanks to two snow days (that I don't have to make up with the rest of the faculty, thanks to maternity leave). So Wednesday began, Friday came quickly, and Sunday was my birthday. Eric took me out to eat and for my birthday gave me anything I wanted over the weekend. What that really meant was that he would take care of James. Although thanks to simply being a mom, I couldn't just let Eric change the poopy diapers and give the baths, so I chipped in. On Saturday night, Eric and James took me out to eat. It was nice to spend that time with family. Oh, how turning 31 was so different than turning 21!
Miss anything? Getting up without the strain of getting up. As in, standing from the sitting position without hobbling over and stumbling for a few steps. More on that below...
Movement? Yes, and I think you're sitting incredibly low as you kick my bladder all the time. That should be fun come third trimester...
Food cravings? PINEAPPLE! Cold, from the can. Can't. get. enough.
Anything make you queasy or sick? Not really this week...
Labor signs? No, and I haven't had a whole lot of cramps this week either, which has been nice. However, I'm still uncomfortable, which is no fun...
Symptoms? Shit's a-stretchin' and holy moses, it's uncomfortable. I didn't get this kind of pain until 30 weeks with James. Like I told a friend of mine - it feels like I've been riding a horse for days. It's hard to stand up and sit down quickly. It's hard to stand on one leg while removing the other from my pants, or taking off a sock or shoe. My groin is in immense pain and I think it's because she's sitting so much lower.  And tonight, Eric made mention that I looked like I was carrying low. Ugh...
Belly button in or out? IN!
Linea nigra? Nothing.
Wedding ring on or off? On!
Happy or moody? THis week, I've been super happy! It's been a good week - I've been on top of stuff at school and classes have been going really well!
Looking forward to: Tonight? The pineapple I'm about to eat. Even though I'm not hungry. I just can't wait for the juicy goodness to envelope my mouth. Yummy yummy!!!

20 Months!

Oh little boy, you are a joy and a handful at the same time.

But first, I want to talk about the moment that brought me to near-tears tonight.

You are obsessed with belly buttons. You love your belly button, love showing it to people, and will find it the instant you are asked to find it. The same with other people. You love finding their belly buttons, pointing them out, laughing when you stick your finger in it.

Typical 20-month-old behavior. but tonight, when you hiked my shirt up over my growing belly to find my belly button (still and innie, thank God!), I told you that you have a little sister in there.

I said, "There's a baby in my belly." And you put the palm of your hand where you had just seen her kick and said, "Baby." It was beautiful. I love you always, but at that moment, my heart swelled for you and your little boy charm. I can't wait for you to meet her.

Otherwise, you're in tip-top form for a 20-month-old, with lots of words and phrases and more things that we can't understand. But lots of things we can, like when you want to go downstairs, you say, "Down" or "Me down." You understand "me" as in James and I hear you say it every one in awhile.

You are starting to drink from real cups, rather than your sippy cups, and you have figured out that you need to set them on a table or counter when you're done with them, or your milk goes away in a hurry as it all leaks out, usually all over our arpet (awesome!).

You are obsessed with the bathroom, still. Love flushing the toilet, turning off the lights etc. So we bought you a toilet seat that fits over ours. We already have an actual potty-training chair for you that even has a splash-guard for little boys, but it's so hard to sit in at any given moment. We've tried just to sit you on it, not even to practice, just sit and you certainly don't want to. So we tried it with the toilet seat, and you didn't want to have anything to do with that either. So I wonder what it will take to get you to start potty training. At least you're still interested. I'm tired of diapers and don't want to have two children in diapers!

You are more than familiar with time out, and usually after one night of several time outs, you are good for a couple of days. Your daddy is finally starting to "grow a pair" and figuring out that he can be stern and you'll listen and not hate him.

You can be the sweetest boy, bringing us our glass of water to drink (which causes me to have a panic attack every time because I swear that you are going to drop it), steak knives that we have left out too close to the edge of the kitchen counter (no cuts yet!) and sometimes, you like to try and share hot dogs with us (even the beef ones that I buy that are more dollars than typical "hot dogs" I will not touch...)

You have a deep laugh, you love to smile, and you are growing like a weed. I love you more than you know. I hope that when you are 18, a senior ready for the real world, you will let me give you a zillion kisses all over your face, hug you like it's my last time, and keep that mischievous twinkle in those deep blue eyes. Nothing good usually comes from that twinkle, but it melts my heart any way.

I love you, sweet boy.

22 Weeks!

Well, I'm starting to finally feel well. I am still blowing hunks of nastiness out of my nose every morning, but at least it eases up by about noon. I have stopped waking up from a sore throat, so huzzah! Perhaps I am healing myself.

Not much to mention this week, so on to the update!


How far along? 22 weeks and for some reason, my belly feels and seems a lot smaller than previous weeks, which is weird. Maybe this is the honeymoon phase where it will be the last time it shrinks. Oh boy, oh boy!
Maternity clothes? Yes. But wore my pre-preg jeans all weekend long. And that says a lot because we had a four day weekend, thanks to sub-arctic temperatures.
Weight gain? Yes, but it can't be much...
Stretch marks? None!
Best moment this week? Monday we had a snow day, followed by Tuesday's snow day. I spent much of Monday and Tuesday morning working, which brought me up to speed for work today. It's amazing how much I got accomplished! Then I just sat. on. my. ass. for the duration of those days while James was at daycare. Another happy moment this week? James went back to daycare after a two week hiatus. Thank you sweet baby Jesus.
Miss anything? We have a giant bottle of wine, just barely opened, in our fridge. It stares at me every time I open the door. Yes, my dear sweet Moscato. I miss you too.
Movement? All the time! It's lovely! My students are starting to ask if they can put their hand on my belly to feel her, which I honestly don't mind, but I told them they could do it when I'm 38 weeks and she's MUCH bigger. Peanut is only a pound, and I'm just not that big!
Food cravings? Nothing really this week. Just food in general. And cold ice water. I cannot get enough of cold ice water! Yum!
Anything make you queasy or sick? The smell of Eric's feet got me tonight... but typically, after working a long day, they about knock me over. So I'm not sure if this is worse or better than when I'm not pregnant...
Labor signs? Nope, just cramps cramps and more cramps. Ugh. Today, for about an hour, they were unbearable when I tried to walk. It go quite annoying. They are also worse when I have a full bladder, which should be exciting and fun as I enter the third trimester and have to go all the time anyway!
Symptoms? Holy boobies batman, these bad boys are sore!
Belly button in or out? IN!
Linea nigra? Nothing.
Wedding ring on or off? On!
Happy or moody? This week, fairly moody thanks to the subzero temperatures and thoughts of my dad.
Looking forward to: And uninterrupted night's sleep. No pee breaks, no dreams to wake me up, no sore boobs. Don't know when that will be, but I will most definitely be looking forward to it.

-15 Degrees

January 15, 2009 was the last time I ever talked to my dad.

That day also happened to be one of the coldest days on record for the state of Iowa. Thanks to the frigid wind chills of more than -40 degrees, all metro schools canceled for the day. I was busy preparing a master work (think choir and orchestra performing together) to teach students in a short two months and was swamped lesson planning, sending emails to our hired orchestra players, and emailing back and forth with the band director as to what rehearsals would entail.

If anyone know anything about me, it's that I hate interruptions. I don't let students use the bathroom in my classes, I hate it when my office phone rings in the middle of a meeting, and when I am deep in my work, like I was that day, interruptions are possibly one of my biggest annoyances.

So when my dad called me three times that day, I ignored every one. And finally annoyed by the fact that he would not stop, answered on the fourth call.

I didn't try to mask my annoyance and my answers to his every day questions were clipped. So I didn't hide my exasperated sigh when he told me to throw a cup of hot water outside and watch it freeze in mid-air.

At the time, that was one of the dumbest, most juvenile things I had ever heard. I didn't have time to do that. I only had time to work on building a music program, and putting my name in the record books with a master work, written by Paul McCartney and never before performed in the United States no less, in my second year of teaching.

So I never threw the water to watch it freeze in mid-air. And now this "polar vortex" that will give us a high of -4 and low of -15 on Monday with wind chills in the -40s, the act of throwing a cup of hot water to watch it freeze in mid-air is staring directly into my soul.

If I do it, if I complete this "juvenile task," it will be like closing a huge chapter on my guilt that I have carried these past 5 years. But on the other hand, the second I do it, it will be like ripping open a huge wound. I cry every time I think about doing it, even when there isn't a "polar vortex" in the weather forecast. I'm crying now.

It's crazy what this weather pattern is doing to my heart, and even crazier that after 5 years, I have managed to experience just about everything without my dad. First days back to school after his death, Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, the birth of my son. But it's this, this simple two-second task that is reducing me to a puddle of conflicting emotion. At any given moment, I don't know exactly how I feel about it.

But I do know how I feel about that last conversation with my dad. When I think of my dad's death, I don't quite remember what I said to him when he was lying on the emergency room table. I don't quite remember who was at his wake. I don't quite remember whose faces I looked into while reading his eulogy. So many times I wish I could go back in time and have that conversation over again. But I can't. There is nothing I can do to change that.

Except maybe throw some hot water outside to watch it freeze in mid-air.

21 Weeks!

!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those are what I use when the impolite, unladylike cuss words are waltzing through my head and about to come out the front of my face.

I am sick. Again. I woke up on the morning of Christmas Eve, and started to cry. My throat hurt so bad, I could  hardly stand it. I debated on whether or not to go to the doctor, but it was Christmas Eve and I could tell my throat wasn't necessarily infected, just incredibly swollen.

I always tell my students who are losing their voices that the voice and it's surroundings are muscles, and when you strain a muscle, or it becomes swollen, you alternate hot with cold.

So that's what I did. A cup of hot cocoa, a cold glass of water. By mid-day, it was bearable and by that evening, it was gone. But then came the headache, which could only mean one thing.

I have a terrible sinus infection.

How am I not surprised? I have yet to go to the doctor, because incredibly enough, I have actually had some time to relax, which I think is helping the snot in my nose go from a disgusting green all the time to a disgusting, light green only some of the time.

We'll see what happens in the following weeks.

In other news, we had our "20 week" appointment yesterday, which is actually on the eve of 21 weeks. The nurse said we had to go over the results of my ultrasound, which was interesting because I'm pretty sure with James, I had to prompt my doctor to tell me about what he saw in the ultrasound, which was "nothing! Everything looks great!"

This time, it was a different story. Not a horrible story that won't have a happy ending, but a story nonetheless.

I have a low-lying placenta. Which simply means that Baby Girl decided to implant herself really low on my uterine wall, and the placenta developed too close to my cervix for the doctor's taste. Usually, if they see that in the first trimester, it's not a huge deal as the uterus expands. But in the second trimester, they don't want to see that. The doctor, who is the same one I had to prompt almost exactly two years ago, said that sometimes this problem will correct itself, or get to the point where I can still have a natural birth, but if not, he will schedule me for a c-section. Because James came so quickly, and the second is most likely going to be faster, it will probably be before Baby Girl's due date. And possibly, therefore, before James' second birthday. We'll see what happens.

Beyond that, the doctor mentioned that should I have any bleeding or severe cramping, to call immediately as that could be a sign that with the uterus expanding, the placenta has actually started detaching from the uterine wall. This is bad.

I laughed when he said severe cramping, as that's what I've been having for the last week. Doc D. told me it's most likely from the low-lying placenta and to just be sure to drink plenty of water!

So that's it for this week. It's been, yet again, an interesting week, but it's been a tiring one. Tomorrow, it's back to school, so it will be interesting to see if I can manage to get back into a routine. We shall see!

How far along? 21 weeks! Jesus, just get me to the end.
Maternity clothes? Yes. But I did put on my regular jeans the other day and they were comfortable around my belly, so I wore them for the most part.
Weight gain? Yes, thanks to the holidays! But as the doctor said, still below my pre-pregnancy weight, by one pound. Still, it's a good weight to be at.
Stretch marks? None!
Best moment this week? Too many to count! It snowed all day Monday and we lazed around our house, getting our lives back in order and preparing for the New Year. It was beautiful! Spending time with James and my husband. Getting James' big boy room decorated. Sorting out James' infant clothes to see what Baby Girl will be able to wear. It was a fun week. Minus the sinus infection. :)
Miss anything? Surprisingly, a few of my co-workers, who I am excited to see tomorrow, and my students! It's been an awesome break, but I can't wait to see my wonderful students and friends tomorrow!
Movement? Every day, about four times a day she gets pretty crazy in there! Usually 6:30 a.m., 3:00 p.m. and 9:00 p.m. I can guarantee some movement. Then there's always a few kicks here and there that I can feel between those times.
Food cravings? Bizarrely enough, pineapple! Eric went grocery shopping (and spent twice as much as I typically do on food!) and got a ton of pineapple. James didn't like it, so I ate some and it was like my palette exploded. I have thus eaten all the pineapple, since yesterday. Delicious.
Anything make you queasy or sick? I love Eric's chili. Love it. But he made it for our New Year meal today and the thought kind of makes me sick. I choked some down today and once i started eating it, it wasn't that bad, but just thinking about it for some reason, turns me off of it. But I plan to take some for lunch tomorrow anyway!
Labor signs? Nope, just pesky cramping.
Symptoms? Gah! Sensitive boobs!
Belly button in or out? IN!
Linea nigra? Nothing.
Wedding ring on or off? On!
Happy or moody?  Happy! It's been a great week!
Looking forward to: Although it's two months away, I'm looking forward to our third trimester ultrasound to see if the placenta has moved. This, for two reasons. First, so we can see our baby girl again, and see her features again, and her cuteness. Secondly, to make sure the placenta has moved. I just don't want to have a c-section. I want everything to be like it was with James. Change is hard for me, and if I have to anticipate something different that I have never experienced before, it makes me very anxious. Although, by 40 weeks, I bet I will be ready to just be DONE with pregnancy! :)