38 Weeks!

I am starting to go batshit crazy. I'm sure none of you could tell that from my post last night.

I am in a state of constant stress. I have so many things to prepare for before Baby Girl gets here, and yet I feel that every time I get a little bit of a head start on it, something happens. Like this morning, I got to school at 7:00 a.m. and started in on transferring files from my old computer to my new one. Only, that was stupid because my old computer is a laptop fro 2007 that runs like a diesel truck and it took forever just to transfer files to the teacher server. So then, I couldn't use my laptop and had to use my new laptop. Only I couldn't print off what I needed to because the new laptop isn't connected to any of our printers in the building yet.

That was the kind of day I had.

And yet, here we are. I'm like a ticking time-bomb. People keep telling me that everything will take care of itself when I'm gone, but I'm also the face of a Vocal Music Department that is starting to make a name for itself. I don't want to leave it in a state of disarray. And then I'm trying desperately to balance that with home life, and it's getting stressful. Not to mention all the signs that labor is nearing...

Ugh. Oh well, life will go on. Onto the update!


How far along? 38 Weeks! I can't believe I am in the final stages of this pregnancy. I never thought it would get here!!!!
Maternity clothes? Yes. Yes. Yes.
Weight gain? Cold weather that prevents us from going on walks or playing outside + more time home in the evenings has really helped me gain weight. :) I stepped on the scale at the doctor's office yesterday and about fell off the scale. Of course, I have to take into account the fact that 1) I was swollen to the point where the boots where I normally have to wear thick socks becuase they're a little too big were tight on my feet with regular socks and 2) I was wearing boots and a jean jacket when the last time I was weighed I was wearing a tank top and sandals. But yes, I am up four pounds from the previous weigh-in. Yikes.
Stretch marks? No - wahoo!
Best moment this week? I felt really, really good yesterday. I wasn't achy, crampy or otherwise uncomfortable. I was wearing a cute outfit and it was a good day. Minus the house in disarray. I also had a good doctor's appointment, beside the surprising four-pound weight gain. He didn't check me, but said that Baby Girl is definitely low and is about 7-7 1/2 pounds. I laughed and told him that's what they said James was right before they broke my water, and he ended up being 9 pounds. He replied with the fact that he would be really be surprised if Baby Girl ended up being nine pounds. Then he warned me from going out and gaining 20 pounds, because then she really would be a nine pounder, maybe more!
Miss anything? Bending over and getting up are extremely painful at times. I miss being able to get up quickly, move quickly and overall be my fast-paced self. I also miss not feeling so big. I miss my clothes in my closet. I miss my pre-baby body. Can't wait for all those things to come back!
Movement? She is moving less and less, but she stretches more and more. It can be incredibly uncomfortable at times!!!
Food cravings? Peanut Butter Captain Crunch and salads. That's right, just a mixed green salad, ranch dressing, sharp cheddar cheese and grape tomatoes. I eat Peanut Butter Captain Crunch every morning before breakfast (except this morning because I ran out yesterday and tomorrow morning because then I forgot to pick some up t the store) a salad for lunch and sometimes, even a salad for dinner. Delicious.
Anything make you queasy or sick? Nope, not really. I think I'm past that stage.
Labor signs? Not really. Last night and all day today, I was having timeable contractions. Hooray! But otherwise, that's about it. Her head is engaged and ready to pop out at a moment's notice, so we shall see how quick labor decides to go!
Symptoms? Is being a huge bitch a symptom? Because every once in awhile I feel the urge to be one come on.
Belly button in or out? Out!
Linea nigra? Barely a line down and not really any line up.
Wedding ring on or off? On today, but off yesterday thanks to the humidity and the swelling of my fingers. But today was a balmy 45 degrees (wtf, Iowa? Where is spring?) so it was easily on the entire day.
Happy or moody? Moody. Poor Eric.

Looking forward to: Next week, because I'm hoping that Baby Girl decides to show up a little early. Then the week after that, because there is no doubt Baby Girl will show up sometime close to then! Wahoo for 14 more days! 

37 Weeks!

Mommy guilt has set in.

Every time I think of how much time I have left in this pregnancy, I think about how much time I have left to spend one-on-one with James.

It wrenches my heart every time.

I love spending one-on-one time with him. I love being his whole world and in turn, I love it when he's my whole world. I love sharing things with him. I feel like with another child, I will miss the things that are important to his world - like pointing out a plane in the sky, or noticing a bird (bee-bee) or a new word (like tonight, he said "Grapes").

I don't want to miss any part of his growing up because it already makes me so sad that he's so big.

And truthfully, I am afraid I won't love Baby Girl as much as I love James.

Everyone says the guilt goes away as soon as you see your second child, and that you love each child the same, but differently, but there's always the what if.

What if I don't? 

And next to that self-doubt, in the deep recesses of my soul that feels things so deeply is self-assurance. I know I will love Baby Girl the same as James. I know I will make sure she grows as well-adjusted as (I think) James is.

So here's to 21 more days of not knowing the answer, but believing I'll be right in the end.


How far along? 37 Weeks. Halleluajah and AMEN!
Maternity clothes? Yes. But hilariously enough, tonight I put on a pair of black pre-pregnancy pants to wear tomorrow, hoping I would just be able to wear them with a rubber band holding them closed and viola, I can. Amazing.
Weight gain? I had a doctor's appointment on Monday and I gained two whole pounds. Considering it's been almost 2 1/2 weeks since my last appointment, that's pretty good! I'm pumped that I might just stay under 180 this pregnancy, which is more than I can say for my pregnancy with James!
Stretch marks? No! Woop woop!
Best moment this week? There were several. I had a great weekend with James outside almost all weekend. Although I paid dearly for it on Monday, it was incredibly fun. Eric joined us and we did things as a family, which is a rarity (and I wish happened more often). My mom came down on Sunday, and then Terri, Eric's mom and her boyfriend Dan stopped by Sunday night. I know this seems bizarre, but another great moment was that it was so nice on Sunday that we slept with the windows open on Sunday night. I love sleeping with the windows open! I always feel like I sleep better! Maybe that's why I love camping so much. Then to top it all off, this week I have had nothing before or after school or in the evenings. It's awesome. I love it!
Miss anything? Being skinny. Honestly. I am really looking forward to not having a basketball protruding from my abdomen. I am looking at all my cute summer clothes and getting excited to wear them again!
Movement? Holy movement indeed. Every night about 9:00 she gets pretty active and it is really starting to hurt. She stretches out and prods and kicks and it sincerely hurts my stomach. Ugh. Only 21 more days, so it's not that bad.
Food cravings? Salads. The past week I have been craving lettuce, sharp cheddar cheese, tomatoes, and ranch dressing. I have had four in the last 48 hours. Delicious!
Anything make you queasy or sick? Not really.
Labor signs? Not really, but at my doctor's appointment on Monday, she checked me and said I was almost 2 cm dilated and 75% or more effaced. Holy buckets! Of course, I was that way with James, and he was 4 days late, so we'll see!
Symptoms? Mood. Swings. Holy. Crap. Today I had a great day with great rehearsals, got a lot of things done and BOOM, by the end of the day, I was pissy. No real reason why. It was interesting.
Belly button in or out? Out out out!
Linea nigra? I can see the faint whisper of a line on the upper half of my belly, and more of a line on the bottom half. But barely!
Wedding ring on or off? On!
Happy or moody? Generally happy, but moody when I haven't gotten good sleep!

Looking forward to: The next few weeks to fly by! Can't wait for May 14th! Or before, Baby Girl, if you want...

Only 21 more days!!!!!!

Debt Free Update!

First off, Eric and I are surrounded by people who either have their parents help them with things (I.e. give them a car to drive, help them with a down payment on a house, or just flat out paid for their college) and sometimes it can be really hard.

"Oh, you're building a new house?"

"Oh, you got a new car?"

"Oh, you're parents are coming down to babysit so you can take a vacation to the Bahamas with money saved from not having to put that down payment on a house?"

It's a hard pill to swallow knowing that we can't take that vacation to the Bahamas because we have to pay almost twice our mortgage in daycare since Grandma and Grandpa don't watch our kids. Dont get me wrong, we don't judge. If your parents are willing to help you out to try and give you a better life, that's great. Our parents are not willing to do that and sometimes it can be a harsh reality.

But at the same time, everything we have we did ourselves.

So there are the people whom we are surrounded by... And then there's us.

We both drive vehicles that are over 10 years old and over 100,000 miles, but we own them. Our parents did not buy them for us.

We paid off Eric's Community College loan while I was still in school. I left school almost $25,000 in debt. But I have been overpaying every loan and it has paid off. Not to mention we scrimped and saved for a down payment on a house and somehow, in the end, came up with almost $9000 to put toward a $127,000 mortgage.

As it sits, Eric and I have one of my student loans left with less than $6000 (at 2.2% interest nonetheless), a mortgage of somewhere in the $106,000 range and we are sitting in a house that, with all the updates, came back appraised just this year at $160,000.

Are we sitting as well financially as the people that surround us? Probably not... But at the end of the day, we can honestly say that we have done all of this by ourselves.

Thanks to paying off my most recent loans (both of which sat at 5.5% and 6.4%, respectively - ouch!) we will have an almost $500 windfall each month to put in the bank.

And I would rather have my own money in the bank, rather than my parents'.

36 Weeks!

I'ts been a less-than-crazy week in comparison to my prior weeks, but it was still crazy, nonetheless. Like I said to my studnets on Monday - there is a distinct possibility that in two weeks, I won't be here, because Baby Girl will be. Terrifying to think about how many things I need to get done before then!

But it will get done, and if it doesn't, so be it. Work will take care of itself, and things will fall into place. We shall see if Baby Girl decides to make her entrance into this world a little early


How far along? 36 Weeks. As I also said to my students today, I have four Wednesdays left of being pregnant. Including today. Holy smokes, I can't wait for it to flly by!
Maternity clothes? Yes! And sadly, I put on one of my favorite maternity dresses this morning, and it didn't fit. Well, it did, but it buttons all the way down, and the buttons were pulled across the stomach, so it looked terrible! I couldn't believe it! I wore that dress just last week. And then I realied that it's most likely beause she's dropped and all of a sudden, my stomach is huge.
Weight gain? Probably. I have been eating the hell out of food, especially now that I have my night and weekends back! Holy smokes. It will be inetersting what my appointment says next Tuesday.
Stretch marks? No, but holy cow is this stomach stretched to the max!!
Best moment this week? Saturday was 86 degrees out. Thank you Iowa, for being bi-polar. Even though I wasn't home most of the day thanks to some music obligations I had, I was still able to enjoy the late afternoon and into the evening with Eric and James. It was honestly just nice to wake up and have it be nice for a change. And nice without wind. It's always so damn windy! So we spent the majority of our evenin outside, and James loved every single second of it. This kid can't wait for the weather to be consistently aweome! Neither can mom, really...
Miss anything? Being able to roll over easily at night and not have my crotch feel like it's going to shatter into a milliion pieces. Can't wat for that sensation to go away!
Movement? The swift kicks to the ribs have subsided and now it's just a whole lot of prodding and poking around. She has the hiccups a lot, which is funny, but at the same tme, can be really annoying. Especially when the beat of her hiccups is different than the beat to which my choir is singing and thus, I am conducting. It's like when you listen to music and you start walking ot the pace of the beat. It's hard to consciously not do that, and that's wht I deal with almost every day!
Food cravings? The pineapple craving has subsided and I have moved on to another succulent fresh fruit - strawberries. Fareway had thee giant strawberries on sale and I snagged a pounds. After eating those, I went bak and snagged a few more pounds... five pounds to be exact. I cut them up and froze them - we will have them for our Easter lunch this Sunday. Otherwise, I have been eating lots of chocolate and craving any sort of fruit!
Anything make you queasy or sick? Again with Eric's work smell - get's me every time!
Labor signs? Nope.
Symptoms? Waddling! Getting up slowly from sitting in a chair. More waddling... I'm also pretty sure Baby Girl has dropped - oofta.
Belly button in or out? Out.
Linea nigra? Barely...
Wedding ring on or off? On, but Saturday, with the humidity and the fact I was in a hot room all day, I thought my rings were stuck for sure! Luckily, I was able to get them off, but holy smokes, was I swollen! Even today, I'm swollen and it was barely 60 dgrees. But I'm still able to wear them!
Happy or moody? Happy! It's been a good week, I'm not too stressed at work and I'm just trying to enjoy the last few weeks with my son as an only child!

Looking forward to: These next couple of weeks and just preparing everything for labor and delivery!

Here's to 9 weeks left! 

23 Months!

Holy moses, you are 23 months old and all boy.

You have bruises on your shins, scrapes on your knees, new battle wounds every day and it seems like you are always dirty.

But I wouldn't have it any other way.

You love truck rides and macaroni and cheese. In just this week, I have seen you consume three hot dogs, numerous strawberries, peas and a couple of chips that I snuck you in one meal. Where do you put all that food?

You love to hang out with dad and you seem the happiest when your dad and I are together doing something with you, which unfortunately, isn't too terribly often. But when we are both home, and we need to go upstairs for a bath or inside because of rain, you want the other parent to come with. Just tonight, we went out front to get the mail and you wanted your dad to come with us. After a short stint of "mama" and pointing, you relent and follow the one parent who asked you to do something... most of the time. :)

You are stubborn beyond belief. You would rather do things yourself, even when it gets frustrating and you begin to cry, you still don't want help. You just want to do it on your own. You are always trying new things, like riding tricycles, going down the big slide at the park, and washing your hands in the sink like you did for the first time tonight.

It's been amazing to watch you grow. You know how to ask for things with sign language, and you are constantly trying to communicate with us. It's been fun figuring out what you are finally saying, like "aye wah" is "I want." Not my favorite choice of words to use, but I make you say it with the object that you want, and then ask please on top of it. A four word sentence for a not-even two-year-old is fairly difficult, so normally you will say what you want and still sign please. It's pretty cute... unless you have crap all over your hands, and then you end up wiping it down the front of yourself in your effort to "say" please. Which is probably why you're always dirty...

You don't like change, especially in your routine. You love love love the outdoors and would be outside all day if you could be. Which you were today. It's so much fun to come early to day care and watch you play with your friends. You are still learning that you can't just climb over the littler kids when going up the ladder to the slide, but otherwise, you play nicely.

You definitely understand time out, which has been interesting. You also understand it when we threaten it, which is nice too because it normally gets you to stop. You are also learning how to push the envelope, which can make things really interesting at times. It also keeps me and your dad on our toes.

You are becoming so independent and it's so much fun to be your mommy. I love your kisses and your hugs and your laugh and beautiful blue eyes. I am incredibly lucky to have you in my life.

I love you little man!

35 Weeks!

Well, here we are at the 35/35 mark. 35 weeks pregnant, with 35 days to go. And the greatest part in all this? I'm. fucking. sick... Again.

This weekend was the musical, and thank the Lord that's over with. I have my nights back. I have my weekends back and I'm so excited to actually be able to spend time with my family. On Sunday, I felt like I was 25-26 weeks pregnant. I was limber, was able to move a lot, had a lot of fun with James. Monday was the same, and then WHAM - Tuesday hits and I have a stuffed up nose, sore throat and a bit of nausea. Not sure if the nausea has to do with third trimester nausea, or with all the drainage, but either way, nausea is accompanying this marvelous cold I have contracted. I'm sure it has something to do with the 15+ hour days I was pulling for the past two weeks. When you go from 15+ to half that, it's inevitable. Awesome.

So here I am, with post-nasal drip, chapped lips from blowing my nose so much, and some weird bit of nausea, just trying to get through the rest of this pregnancy. Hopefully, this cold won't be as rocky as the last time I was sick!

On to the update! Hooray!


How far along? 35 Weeks! I can't believe we have just over a month left. No matter what, in a month and a half, we will have our second child. Crazy to think about!
Maternity clothes? Of course, and they're all still fitting. I've also been able to squeeze some relatively cute outfits out of my non-maternity dresses.
Weight gain? In almost 3 weeks, I gained less than a pound. I guess those two weeks of 15+ hour days did me good. Curiously, I asked the nurse at Monday's appointment to check what I weighed at this point with James. She checked, but there were only two weigh-ins on record. February of 2012 at 24 weeks pregnant and June of 2012 at 1 month post-partem. Those two dates had almost identical weight, which is also the weight I am right now. At 35 weeks. I was astounded. It's not that I'm obsessing about my weight in the fact that I am watching it, and myself, and what I eat at any given time. But I'm obsessing about my weight because I am truly astounded with the fact that I haven't gained more weight. I guess bouncing around the classroom, having to walk the entire length of the building just to make photocopies and being active with James truly has helped me keep the pounds off.
Stretch marks? No, surprisingly! And happily!
Best moment this week? Spending all day Sunday with James, after not really getting to see him for two weeks. Seeing my Uncle Steve and Aunt Sue - it's always good to reconnect with my dad's side of the family. Getting to spend time with my husband.
Miss anything? Not being exhausted on any given day. Wine. In no particular order.
Movement? All the time. Hiccups especially. She loves boot-scootin' right after I eat something. It's so fun to watch!
Food cravings? Candy. Uh-oh. Chocolate especially. And water. Tons and tons and tons of ice cold water. I cannot get enough of it and I bet I drink at least 96 ounces a day. That's a lot of water. But holy moses it's good!
Anything make you queasy or sick? Nope! I think we're well past that stage and onto the "eat everything" stage.
Labor signs? Negative, but that's ok as it would be a wee bit early...
Symptoms? Feeling gigantic. Hip and pelvic bone pain. A fucking cold.
Belly button in or out? Out. For good.
Linea nigra? Barely. But it's there!
Wedding ring on or off? On!
Happy or moody? Moody. I'm just so tired and heavy-feeling all the time!

Looking forward to: More time with my family. Easter, as my mom will be here and will be staying at Adventureland Inn, where there's a baby pool that James will be able to enjoy. Getting ready for Baby Girl. Labor. The end of the school year. Trust me, at this point, I'm looking forward to several things.... good, bad or indifferent!

Here's to 35 days left!

34 Weeks!

Oofta. What a week it has been. A good one, but tiring. Needless to say, I'm ready to be DONE with this pregnancy. I'm getting to the "heavy" stage where it takes a major effort to do just about anything.

Good thing my job gets me excited, so it's easy to continue to bounce around the classroom. But after I do, I am so drained.

But, onto the update!!

How far along? 34 Weeks. I can't believe we only have a month and a half to go!
Maternity clothes? Once aain, duh. In fact, some stuff is starting to not fit. My favorite black jeans are getting a little too tight. Things aren't stretching around my body quite like they used to. Ugh.
Weight gain? I can't believe I actually did this, but I sought out the scale. Our old, not-so-accurate scale and it read...............176 pounds. Holy mackerel. That's exactly what I weighed when I got on the scale after Christmas last year and I remeber being so depressed, so Eric went out and bought me Dance Central for the XBOX and I religiously played it for 6 weeks and ate yogurt for breakfast and all that jazz. And lost a good 10 pounds. And there I sat, until I got pregnant again, when I lost another 5 pounds and then really went to town when I got so sick. So, it's been interesting to lose this weight and then put it back on again, but for an entirely different reason. I am officially about 10-15 pounds below where I was with James, and you can definitely tell. Oofta. I will be anxious to know what the scale says next week at my 34-almost-35 week appointment.
Stretch marks? Nope, woop woop!
Best moment this week? So many things. All having to do with school because, quite frankly, I haven't been home hardly at all this week. But the musical is going well, solo contest went well, and I am glad to see the homestretch; the light at the end of the tunnel is shining brighter!!!!!
Miss anything? This week, my family. I haven't been able to see James for more than 20 minutes at a time Monday and Tuesday, and tomorrow night will be the same. Saturday I was gone all day at state contest, but I spent a ton of time with James on Sunday, as it was a beautiful 73 degrees out! We went to the park, grilled out, played outside and generally had an awesome time. But I still miss him - one day like that isn't enough.
Movement? She just gave a succession of prods to my stomach on the right side of my belly button. It was funny to watch and Eric caught a glimpse of it. Hard to believe this will be the last time we will be watching this type of thing happen. At least, let's hope it's the last time! :)
Food cravings? Peanut. Butter. Cap'n. Crunch. When living in the dorms in college, I didn't have bowls, so I ate Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch out of a cup. Nothing better than the peanut buttery goodness and some ice cold milk. Holy crap. I might just go get a bowl after this...
Anything make you queasy or sick? Surprisingly, no. I think I might be past that stage. There are smells that smell terrible that have an even stronger aroma to my pregnant nose, but for the most part, all is good in that department.
Labor signs? Not really, but I'm pretty sure she's head down. Which is leading to some interesting sensations!
Symptoms? Peeing all the time! Good Lord! At school I go about 2 times every period. For 52 minutes, that's a ton. I've also been a good girl and drinking as much water as possible!
Belly button in or out? In/out. It can't seem to decide.
Linea nigra? Barely a line... barely.
Wedding ring on or off? On but every morning, my fingers are really swollen. Once I get moving during the day, it's not bad at all. Just in the morning and sometimes at the end of the night!
Happy or moody? Moody, but I'm also fricken stressed out with school stuff...

Looking forward to: Sunday, when I will no longer have the dreaded night rehearsals, I will be able to spend time with my family and be a mom and think about this baby girl! It cannot come fast enough!!!!!

Only 6 more weeks!!!!!!