26 Weeks!

Last week, I ended with "How did we get here so quickly?" This week, I start with, "Shit, only 26 weeks???!!!!" This week, time seemed to stand still!

Random Thoughts from This Week: Screw you, full-moon-end-of-the-quarter-halloween-attitudes that have been in oversupply among my students. Ayeyeye, they are crabby!
Maternity clothes? That would be a resounding YES.
Weight gain? Most likely. Tonight, I had spaghetti, followed by some macaroni and cheese that my kids left out. At this point, I have had two children and have, eventually, managed to get back down to a decent weight. This is not my first rodeo, so although I'm still careful with what I eat, I'm also not being psychotic about it.
Stretch marks? Nope!
Best moment this week? Our bathroom is almost complete! As of right now, Eric is laying tile! The walls are painted! The faucet on the bathtub runs! The toilet will be installed on Saturday! The washer and dryer will arrive and be installed on Saturday! We get to go pick out a counter top at one of Eric's tile stores that he uses! Our vanities are here! WE ARE ALMOST DONE WITH PHASE 1. Thank you, Jesus. It will be interesting to see if we actually get the kitchen done when we say we're going to... i.e. before E3 comes cruising into this world!
Worst moment this week? Catherine. Holy moly. Teething. Growing. Tired. Constantly hungry. Poor thing has had a tough week. Mom has had a tough week with her.
Miss anything? As I was cuddling Catherine, since she is very much a cuddler, It was difficult to do. She likes to snuggle in, her back to my front, and she can't do that since E3 is in the way. So we have had to adjust and I don't like it. :(
Movement? Yep! Loves to move all over the place, particularly between 9:30 and 10:30 p.m. when I am trying to get to sleep.
Food cravings? Still spicy mac and cheese! Honestly, anything spicy or carb-y, I thoroughly enjoy. Soooo different from Catherine, but soooooo similar to James! Crazy!
Anything make you queasy or sick? Nope!

What pissed you off this week? Probably a dozen people asked me this week, "When are you due again?" Yeah, people, I know. I'm big. It's because it's my THIRD CHILD in almost as many years. Jesus. 

I can see the third trimester on the horizon! 

25 Weeks!

Random Thoughts from This Week: Be the problem-solver, not the problem. Holy hell.
Maternity clothes? Ohhhhh yes. Hahaha...
Weight gain? Probably... although I have noticed that I have been much more active, so hopefully that helps.
Stretch marks? Nope!
Best moment this week? We got Eric's truck back, Catherine is starting to really walk - like, in circles, etc. Also, Eric is currently, at 9:41 p.m., screwing drywall in our new bathroom. Which is why I'm not curled up with a book at 9:41 p.m. And why James is sleeping next to me in our bed at 9:41 p.m.
Worst moment this week? Catherine got a nice-sized bump on her head from trying to walk up the incline of our driveway. Fell forward, tried to catch herself but ended up hitting her head and sliding forward a little bit, scraping it. It looks pretty nasty, and I felt awful! I watched the whole thing happen, but was unloading the car and had my hands full. Poor thing!
Miss anything? Being able to move quickly.
Movement? Yes, good Lord.
Food cravings? Roasted veggie spicy mac and cheese. Oddly enough, I also had a craving for hot dogs tonight. What the hell? So I had two of them. With buns, ketchup, mustard etc. Delicious!
Anything make you queasy or sick? Not really!

What pissed you off this week? People that love to complain. My God. Be the problem-solver, not the problem! If you are going to complain, offer a damn suggestion! Good lord! It's not hard! 

Onward to week 26, I guess. How the hell did we get here so quickly?? 

24 Weeks!

Random Thoughts from This Week: There has to be something about pregnancy hormones and cats. With every pregnancy, my cat will not leave me alone! He loves to be on top of me, next to me, tripping me, you name it. It's incredibly annoying! As of right now, when I sat down, fired up the computer and began typing, I have had to move him from my "lap" down to the bottom of the bed. And now he's curled up as far up on my legs as possible. So annoying!
Maternity clothes? Yes. I also broke down tonight and went out and bought some black over-the-belly leggings. I had inherited some, but they were terrible!! They kept sliding down my belly. These are from Motherhood Maternity and they will be much better than the H&M Mommy ones I got from a friend. Hallelujah!
Weight gain? Talk about a shocker when I stepped on the scale at my doctor's appointment on Tuesday! Yes, I have, in fact, gained weight. Like, 8 pounds. Holy hell! I blame it on the fact that I had a student teacher and sat around most of my day... usually eating and watching/listening to her teach. I have since started moving around MUCH more, and I am hoping my next weigh-in won't be so dramatic!
Stretch marks? Nope!
Best moment this week? An incredibly LOOOOOONG story, which has nothing to do with pregnancy, but we have been without Eric's truck for SIX WEEKS. We took it to our mechanic after Eric turned it off and it wouldn't turn back on. After almost 3 weeks, he could not figure out what was wrong with it and threw in the towel. Right then we knew it couldn't be good. We took it to the dealership, only to find out Eric's fuel was "contaminated." Think sugar or flour being poured into the gas tank, but it wasn't flour or sugar. But it was definitely contaminated. Luckily, that means insurance will cover it under vandalism for a $500 deductible, which is awesome, since we are already into this about $4000. So after the insurance claim, it has been slow-going, since the dealership has to get everything approved by insurance first. It's a lot of back and forth, but if we only have to pay a measly $500, I could care less. Today, the dealership called with bad news: it has ruined a lot of the engine, which means we need to get a new engine for the lovely price of about $7500. Now I am really thanking GOD that we are only paying a $500 deductible. So at about 1:00 p.m. today, they were talking about totaling Eric's vehicle out, as the total cost of repairs so far is over $12,000. Holy. Shitballs. I can't imagine if that would have had to come out of our pocket. We would have no money left!  So, after the insurance agent then transferred it to another insurance agent who deals more with this area, he swung by and took a look at it. Luckily, he believes it's a very nice truck (it's a Lariat for crying out loud, it's a nice damn truck), so he said there's no way we're going to total it out. Thank you JESUS! The Ford dealership will look for a new motor and put that in. So, I would have to say that is definitely the best moment this week!
Worst moment this week? Constantly wondering what is going to go wrong in our lives!
Miss anything? Not having a gigantic belly that gets in my way. Bending over without the intense pain that is my pubic bone splitting into a million pieces.
Movement? Yes, and my God, you LOVE to stretch!
Food cravings? My roasted veggie spicy mac and cheese. Holy crap, I could eat that stuff every day. I put in double the spices, so it's extra spicy and I can't get enough.
Anything make you queasy or sick? Since Eric has been without a truck, we have been carpooling every day. He drops me off at work and picks me up well after my contract ends, but that's fine, I have plenty of work to do. Anyway - his driving makes me sick! I have to drive to school and then we switch so he can drive off into the sunrise, and my co-workers laugh at me all the time. But I can't help it. It's actually always been this way, but for some reason, pregnancy exacerbates my carsickness.

What pissed you off this week? Lazy students! Ugh! I had a student who wanted to know how many lessons he has missed. For God's sake, child! There is a damn calendar on the door to the practice room! Look yourself! And then when I said, "I don't know," he scoffed at me. HOW DARE YOU?! I turned back around and said, "Asking me how many lessons you've missed is like me asking my boss how many sick days I have left because I don't want to log onto the absence system for our school and look myself. And you know what Mr. Kramer would say? He would tell me to look myself, because he has 35 other employees to worry about." And then I walked away. Holy hell, children. Do it your damn self! 

Here's to Week 25!

23 Weeks!

Random Thoughts from This Week: I am so damn sick of taking pills. I have always hated taking pills, since I was young. It's not necessarily the actual pill-swallowing that I hate. It's the fact that I have to be responsible enough to take them, and that I actually need them to feel normal. Currently, I take ranitidine for my acid reflux, because it's already terrible. I also take 1000 mg of tylenol. EVERY NIGHT. That's right!
Maternity clothes? Yep, and I am large and in charge. It's so awesome...
Weight gain? I have been eating like crap. I'm guessing I will have gained at least 4 pounds by my appointment next week.
Stretch marks? Nope, and I am starting to really stretch.
Best moment this week? I can see E3 move outside my belly. Being home with the kiddos, who are less demonic than last week. We went on a family bike ride (the last of my pregnant bike riding, let me tell you...) last night as it was a beautiful night. We took the trail halfway to Pleasant Hill then wound back through our neighborhood. We stopped at the park where James held Catherine as they went down the slide (and then James would crawl back up and Eric would hand off Catherine). Since I've been gone three of these four week nights, it was awesome to be able to spend not just time with my family, but quality time where no one was screaming, there were no electronics, and it was a genuinely enjoyable evening.
Worst moment this week? Any moment where I have to get up from a sitting position, or really, walking. No joke, my hips and pelvis hurt so bad. Hence, the 1000 mg of tylenol every night. Otherwise, when I get up in the morning, I can hardly move. I remember at this point with James, I was feeling my tummy muscles stretch and it hurt so bad! That was nothing. THIS. This feels like my vagina is going to split wide open. I hobble around like an old person and it's terrible. I feel awful almost all the time.
Miss anything? Being able to move quickly. It's amazing that I have lost that ability so soon into this pregnancy.
Movement? All over the place. All the time.
Food cravings? Panera Mac and Cheese!
Anything make you queasy or sick? Nope!

What pissed you off this week? A co-worker is driving me bat-shit crazy. She has absolutely no tact, and it's terrible! I feel even worse for another co-worker, who is getting the brunt of it. Hopefully, she will stand up for herself sometime and not let this person walk all over her! We shall see..............

Onward! 

And time stood still...

It has been 5 years since I was investigated, exonerated, and my case with the BOEE was thrown out. In fact, 5 years ago today, I took a personal day to go to the actual meeting and hear my case. It wasn't on that meeting that time, but I took the day anyway. 

It's been a long time since I thought of all the dates associated with my case, my PTSD and really, what I saw as, at the time, the end to my teaching career. 

I have been blissfully unaware, kicking ass and taking names, where I currently am. No longer do I think about what had happened. Not too long ago, Eric actually said her name and it shocked me; I hadn't thought of her, or heard her name in ages. It was weird to think about, and we were able to laugh it off. 

But in these situations, there is never one person. There is a small group of people, with one person leading the herd. That was this student, and mainly, her mother. They went on the witch-hunt, and they got two other parents involved. When I think of the situation, I don't think of these other parents. I just think of the one person who started it all. The one person who mainly lead the pack. The one person who caused me the stress, anxiety, tears, hatred. 

Today, I came face to face with one of those parents, and was not ready for my mind's reaction. 

As I was walking out of my office, I came face to face with one of those parents, who was carrying mail in from the district office. That's right, because he works for the school district. 

At first, it was hard to recognize him and I remember thinking, "No, that cannot be him." But when I made eye contact with him, I knew. And I knew he knew. I could see the recognition in his eyes. But it was like my mind didn't believe it. So I continued my walk back to the mail room, and so did he. He sorted the mail and walked out. I took a minute to compose myself, because while standing there watching him get the mail as I checked my mail box, I realized that it was him. It was, in fact, someone who had made my life a living hell. Someone who had accused me of things my principal called "crazy" but yet, still allowed the school district to investigate me, time and time again. 

When he left, I asked the secretaries if they knew who he was, as he looked familiar to me. They said his name was Bill. As I was asking what his last name was, a custodian was walking by and said his last name.

Immediately, my heart rate soared, my hands turned cold, I couldn't breathe and it felt like I was having an out of body experience. Immediately, my eyes began to tear up, and my fight or flight response kicked in. I had to get out of that office. My co-worked, who had been standing at the desk, noticed my response and was concerned.  I explained to her that this individual had tried to get me fired from my last school district. In fact, he had run for the school board on the platform of getting me fired. Talk about a strong hatred for someone! Of course, he didn't win, but at the same time, it was apparent that he, and these other people, would stop at nothing to make sure that I didn't have a job. In fact, it got to the point where the school district had to tell him that he no longer had children in the system, so they were not going to listen to him in regard to his complaints about me. But that was after the damage was already done. 

It was the first time in a long time that I dissociated. It was like I was floating above my body and I couldn't breathe. I had to concentrate really hard on breathing and acting normal. It was the worst 5 minutes I have had in a long time. 

But I can tell I am better. I am stronger. I snapped out of it long enough to pull myself together. 

The rest of the day was up and down. There were times when I had the flight response and wanted to hole up in my office. But there were other times where I wanted to say, "Bring it, fucker." I had to repeat to myself "this situation does not define me as a teacher or a human being." The same thing I had written on those orange post-it notes and hung all over my house. 

In the end, I won. I won against every single ridiculous accusation there was. Because I didn't do anything wrong.

I went back and forth between talking to my principal about the situation, as Bill is also a bus driver in our district. I have, just this month, requested 3 buses. Odds are, he will be the driver for one of them. It makes me wonder if I should actually say something to someone. But I don't want anyone to know. Those days, that school, that life is behind me. I don't want to drudge it all up again. But at the same time, I want and HAVE to protect myself. Isn't that my right? 

I also went back and forth between talking to my school resource officer. Again, I don't know if what I would tell him would be confidential, Again, I don't want to bring this life back up again if I don't have to. So I emailed a friend of mine, who also happens to be a detective, but one day a week serves as a school resource officer, and explained my story to him. It was via email, and it was a very abbreviated version, but hopefully, he can give me some insight. 

Otherwise, I suppose I will continue to do what I know how to do. Teach, love my students, and live my life. 

Bring it, fucker. 

22 Weeks!

Random Thoughts from This Week: Where the hell did my precious children go? They have been replaced by demons, spawned from all things loud and scream-y.
Maternity clothes? Yes. Last week I looked 28 weeks. This week, I look 30. So maternity clothes at this point are a must! I broke out my new $.97 jeans (yes, you read that right) from Old Navy and love them! Although I have to wear them with a belt (weird...) so they stay up as they are the "Real waist" type. I have decided that I much prefer the over-the-belly type of jeans. Under the belly fall down too easily and they make my bump look an odd shape. Real waist is good, but I am not a fan that I need something to keep them up. Most likely only until I get a little bigger (is that possible at this point?). I have two over-the-belly pants and love them the most. Only 18 more weeks that I really need to worry about it, I guess.
Weight gain? Wouldn't doubt it. I have slowly been adding dairy back into my diet, and it seems like I can handle it in very little doses. So bizarre. Sometimes, I wonder if it's really dairy, or another weird food allergy...
Stretch marks? No, and I was even at the mall on Friday and didn't get any lotion.
Best moment this week? I am actually able to see E3 moving and kicking on the outside of my belly, and Eric finally felt him kick. That was pretty awesome. He's boot-scootin' away right now, in fact. I can see him all over the place. He might be normal weight for his gestation, but I am very curious as to how loooooong he will be.
Worst moment this week? E3 LOVES to stretch and oh my God, it genuinely hurts.
Miss anything? My real children, who love me and give me kisses and don't get in trouble and force me to put them in time-out at 6:45 a.m.
Movement? Absolutely - I can even feel you above my belly button!
Food cravings? Not really. Just food in general!
Anything make you queasy or sick? Not really.

What pissed you off this week? My beautiful satan's-spawn children. This morning, James asked me what I was doing. Instead of coming unglued, like I really wanted, I calmly looked at him and said, "Apparently, I am Grand Marshalling a one-star shit parade!" Hopefully, he doesn't learn to repeat that. Also, sneezing. Because when I sneeze, I pee. *sigh*

Here's to week 22! Yippee kai-yay!